Feel Ashamed About My Blowjob Skills

[lovemylife]

I was married for 15 years and recently divorced him. I have had several sexual partners to whom I gave blow jobs to and always had great reviews afterwards. I met this man that I love and I think he loves me but the first time I gave him head I was amazed how big he was and I sucked and licked like I did every other man. After about 5 minutes my head was shoved down on his dick and I choked on it. I came up and was shocked because I swear I almost passed out. we laughed about it for several weeks but now when I give him head he always complains after that I dont know what I am doing. I feel so horrible to know that I have been doing this to the man I love and the whole time he is thinking how bad I am at it. He has metioned to me that my dick sucking skills are awful. this hurts and have told myself I will never try to please him this way again. He is atleast 9 inches long and very thick and Im just not use to his size. is there a way to just get over this and accept I must not know what Im doing or he is just being a jerk.

[Mikayla1]

I think you have to consider the fact that he wants you to deepthroat him. Listen honey, I think the shoving your head down on his cock was clue enough to that. I think you also should be open to the possibility that you aren't good at giving head, the fact is, it is a skill. Just licking and sucking does not a good blowjob make.

I will suggest that not only you ask him what he would like to make it better, but also read my article on how to deepthroat. It will give you some ideas to how to better perform orally. There is hand movements, tongue tricks, and of course, DEEPTHROATING. IF this man has had women deepthroat him before, he will be looking for it from you...so learn how to do it!

Good luck!

Mikayla

[Tyger]

Well, I must say, the WAY he said that he isn't getting pleased by your oral skills IS tacky, though it definitely gets the point across. I have always warned the men I was with that, if they like what I am doing, great, but, when I was a child, a bad thing happened to me, and if I feel forced into anything (like having them shove my head down on their dick with no warning), I will not be responsible for the possible panic attack and biting that may ensue. Warning them of a truth, well, I've never had that problem.

Giving good head, is, as mentioned, a skill, like anything else, it needs to be practiced. Some men are just thankful that you've put their dicks in your mouth, and/or may have not had a lot of experience with BJ's. There is also personal preference. One man responding said he doesn't care for BJ's. OK, that's new, but not unthought of. Some men like a firmer suction, others, light.

My hubby is about as big as you say your man is. If I am going to go down on him as far as I can (though I can't deepthroat him either, and he doesn't seem to mind), I have to start slow, sucking, licking, and hand motions first. Relaxing and getting into the groove to get the throat relaxed enough to actually take almost his whole shaft. *Don't laugh*~ but dentists have told me repeatedly that I have a physically small mouth (which NONE of them will put it down in writing, and NOBODY that knows me believes ), and I have asked a few friends that also have small mouths (physically LOL), if they have troubles giving head, and they do too.

I've learned to do a few tongue motions on my men that never seem to fail me, and I have never ever had any complaints. There is also the Polishing of the Knob manuveur too (Mikayla has also written a post in the Oral Forum about it). I do a Figure 8 around the head of my hubby's shaft that makes him climb walls. Flicking the tonge lightly on the tip, and going down to right underneath his balls, tickling that area (which I have no clue what it's called), also has him clutching sheets. There's humming, Corn On the Cob (thanks again Howard!!), and something I do where I can almost wrap my tongue around his shaft and almost massage it.

Ask him questions as to HOW he wants it done, not necassarily asking what others have done in the past, but how does he like to be orally pleased. Now, if he is totally insulting about it, then, maybe you should visit the possibility that he IS, in fact, a jerk. If any man had insulted my sexual prowess, or lack of, I don't think he'd have lasted long at all.

The key is communication between the both of you. It goes both ways. If you try to please him, then he also should be trying to please you. Ask questions, and if he doesn't ask questions about how to please you, then TELL him.

I hope it works for you. Read the suggested articles, and the Oral Forum too. They're very helpful.