Current Man-past Relationships

[tracey]

The guy I am with is so insecure and it is effecting our reltionship very badly. He used to never make these kind of comments...but then all the sudden, in the middle of sex, he will ask things like, "do I satisfy you like so and so?'' "Am I doing it the way so and so did this to you?" Or heaven forbid I run into someone in the store, whether I dated them or not-then I hear, "what, you want to f>>> himm?" "Why was you talking to him?" "did you f>>> him?'' And the inevitable-I have been married 2 times. Of course, they get thrown in my face. And so do PAST boyfriends. I have already told him-who I seen and who I was with is in the past, leave them there. Anyone else with this kind of issues. Its not going to work between us if this keeps up.

[sylvina]

I do, but Ive been the one who was asking everything. But that was before, and i was very insecure, specially since i gained weight after having kids, and wasnt the "bean pole" he first got with. But, I have since stopped because he began doing it to me, and I hated it. Then I realized, thats what i was constantly doing to him, and it wasnt random people, it was always "did any of your other girlfriends do this" or "do you think of past girlfriends when we have sex". We've recently "patched" our marriage up and now we couldn't be happier, and its taken a lot for me to just forget his past and mine. He wasnt with many others, only 2, so it kinda isnt too bad. But, I never thought of my pasts, or anything, unless we ran into them, or he asked me, and i was wondering if he was the same.

But as I said, we are now extremely happy, both sexually and emotionally.

[Tyger]

My ex-husband did that to me ALL of the time, and it drove me nuts! I told him that if I wanted to go and F*#k them, then I would be F*#king them right now. That may sound cocky, but it was true. I never asked about how so-and-so did this or that. I didn't care. It definitely can ruin a relationship. Insecurity is an awful thing if you let it be. It can lead to jealousy and possessiveness.

I don't care what my current hubby has done in the past. When we lived up north, every so often, if he met a guy friend, he'd ask me if that was one of my past lovers, just kinda in passing, and it was usually no. He only met 3 of my past lovers, and I've asked and met about 3 of his as well. On my part at least, it was more curiousity than anything. I'm thinking/hoping it was the same with my hubby.

Hopefully, you can ease his fears. Maybe you just just sit down with him, and tell him, once and for all, that you don't think that discussing your sexual past in detail is a good idea or a good thing for the relationship. That your past lovers are exes for a reason, and that he either needs to live in the present, or find a future somewhere else.

I hope you can work it out. Good luck! *hugs*