No Orgasms... Help!

[Sexy_Blonde69]

Hi there guys! i am new here. i was just looking for cool xmas gifts and some how or another ended up on this page!!! well i am glad because i have always wanted to ask a certain question but never had the balls to.

in my life, i have had what i believe too many partners, maybe 20. im 19, i dont know EVERYTHING about sex, thats why i am here! out of all those men, i dont BELIEVE ive had not 1 orgasm. maybe i have gotten orgasms, but i dont know what its suppose to feel like. granted, the sex felt good, but ive never reached the point or ecstacy that so many of you talk about. maybe its just that i dont know what to feel. when ive had sex with men, the sex felt good, but again i never reached the "exploding peak". when i have played with myself and my vibrator it feels good too, and with my vibrator i reach a point of amazing pleasure, but no where near what you guys describe orgasm-ing to be. so here are my questions...

1) how do i know i had an orgasm?

2)men have the cum that comes out of their penis, do women have something similar? can we see it? is there suppose to be a wet mark or anything after the "peaking" sensations?

3)How is an orgasm suppose to feel, or what should i be feeling if i have gotten one before?

4)i ONLY get the amazing pleasure from clitoris stimulation, and mostly only with a vibrator(not my finger or his; a vibrator!) why cant i stimulate myself with out one?

[Sexy_Blonde69]

well, thank you!!! i realized that there was a sex talk section AFTER i posted the blog! lol. but i did read all of it, and digested alot and actually got a chance to kind of practice. i think the problem is i only have 1 toy and its really not all that great! i will buy some more! lol. but thank you for making me feel better nad not so insecure about the # and that i am not the only one that has these inquiries! i appreciate it. :-D

[Chrisdot]

Sexy Blonde69: You are welcome. If you read all the articles, your eyes must be ready to fall out of your face! Get some rest, relax, and then re-read Mikayla's article about needing to be comfortable to enjoy yourself. Toys are great! for overcoming years of repressed feelings, but they really are not necessary. Learn to give yourself a sexual body massage. Its easiest to do this in a shower, or bath, or hot tub, but you can do it anywhere you are comfortable. Learn where all your erogenous zones are. Learn what kinds of touches to them feel good, and excite you.

What are the clues that you are getting there? how about beavy brathing, shivers, feeling your breasts begin to thicken, and feeling blood building in your labia and clitoris? The fullness feeing that makes you want to scratch or rub ! DON"T ! Not yet. Continue to caress yourself and begin the slow deep breathing, both in and out, Laugh at anything. These are relaxation techniques that help you do just that- RELAX! Soaking in a warm shower, or in a hot bath or hot tub does so, also.

When you get to the point when your labia feel like they are going to fly away, and your breasts are so full you think they might explode, gently touch them- the more gently the better. Stay away from your clit, and nipples. Caress the breasts, lift them, feel their fullness. Use your fingertips to feel the outline of both your Labia Majora and Labia minor. Close your eyes and see through those fingertips, feeling every curve. Now, wet a finger tip of two, and gently feel the clitoris. Don't start breathing in short gasps- breathe slowly, and deeply, exhaling as much air as you can, then count to 5 before slowly inhaling as much as you can, but keep your mind on what your fingertips are telling you.

Now add your favorite fantasy lover to all this, imagining its his fingers and hands that are so gently touching you. Now, use your(his) finger to stroke that clitoris and let yourself go! Your body will go into total tension, your brain will feel like its going to explode, and you are sure you will back out. You make shake from head to toe in orgasm- some do and some don't, and other do only somtimes. Everyone stops breathing for a few seconds, or more, until the release.

I do encourage women who have seriously repressed sexual feelings during adolescences, and beyond, to use toys to learn how to relax and masturbate successfully to orgasm. Some of the dual action toys just won't let you not orgasm, because they busy your mind with so many feelings that it can't repress and resist orgasms any more. Great little devices to get women back to feeling what God gave them. But, I always encourage women to use the toys to help them become orgasmic without the toys, solo and with their lovers, so that toys become just another option for them in love making to have fun.

I am not worried that someone is going to get addicted to toys, or that toys being used constantly are going to numb a woman( or man) to the real thing. Having fun by yourself is always much different than having fun with someone else, and toys can never provide that experience- at least until we come up with interactive, computer-driven sex machines. For now, the most interactive computer sex machine is this talk forum!

Have fun.

Howard

[Chrisdot]

Chrisdot. New member today. WOW! Great site. Have read thru most of the posts - and found a few hot tips. But still at a quandary as to why I cant have a O with my man as often as Id like.

He is every girls dream, patient, experimental, loving and caring, sensitive and sharing - and more. I think am relaxed enough and he is doing all the right things with his tongue and hands and spending ages. I even find it hard to come when I masturbate while he is inside me. I have a few toys and am able to have more than one orgasm on my own. Have I got serious inhibitions or something.......help. I have been going with him for 12 months now and we have been buzy bonking at every possible mo - he really turns me on and the sex is great.

I have had g-spot Os and ejacculated. But not much luck with the clit? Apart from a few casual encounters.......at 45 he is my third partner.