Members WonderingWhatThereIs Posted April 9, 2022 Members Report Share Posted April 9, 2022 What sexual options does your mate have when you are not having sex with them? You love your mate. You want to spend your life with them. You’ve both done all you can think of to revive your sex life. Aside from hours of trying to find the source of the issue, trying to fix it with exercise, diet changes, nutrition, schedule changes, counseling, therapy, meds, and the more desperate of choices, have you ever discussed this with your mate: What sexual options do you or they have when either one of you are no longer into having sex with them? Would you offer them any? How would you use it to maintain your connection/bond? Does anyone have any experience with this and any results that worked long term? thank you for honest thoughtful answers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cirrus20 Posted April 10, 2022 Members Report Share Posted April 10, 2022 On 4/8/2022 at 4:34 PM, WonderingWhatThereIs said: What sexual options does your mate have when you are not having sex with them? You love your mate. You want to spend your life with them. You’ve both done all you can think of to revive your sex life. Aside from hours of trying to find the source of the issue, trying to fix it with exercise, diet changes, nutrition, schedule changes, counseling, therapy, meds, and the more desperate of choices, have you ever discussed this with your mate: What sexual options do you or they have when either one of you are no longer into having sex with them? Would you offer them any? How would you use it to maintain your connection/bond? Does anyone have any experience with this and any results that worked long term? thank you for honest thoughtful answers. I'm in the same situation as my wife stopped having any sexual desire years ago. From what you described it seems you have exhausted the options to find the reason for the problem and I assume it can't be fixed with a little blue pill for the guys. What that leaves is oral sex or masturbating as a couple along with solo masturbation in front of your partner or with porn. The other option is to find a sex buddy if your partner is OK with that. Otherwise you need to do some serious thinking about why you are together and whether or not you want to remain together. That is, will the lack of sex make you so unhappy that the relationship turns toxic. I hope you are able to find a solution that works for you. Good luck. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WonderingWhatThereIs Posted April 11, 2022 Author Members Report Share Posted April 11, 2022 I know, it's heartbreaking. You start out so dynamic. No one wants to separate or divorce, but if rough being so stuck/torn. Thanks for the input. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kinky Twinkie Posted April 25, 2022 Members Report Share Posted April 25, 2022 Well for me I masterbate alot. Long time and over the years had more then enough partners to scare Dr Ruth. Nothing wrong with it it quality time with myself and it probably the best over the years. You got to strive to make that special and it didnt change when i got married. I just got more options but my wife like all my partners before are people with issues different then mine. They stressed, they ill, they got menustration, they not feeling loved, etc. You got to make sex with her not appear as the urgent need it maybe to you. My wife gets over worked and feels at times she just a sex partner and not valued. This a bad place to be. When kids came it really didnt happen much. But tackle the issue with your partner to see what you can do to help them. Dont bring up sex. You got a motive We know but keep it secret. Your going to make it worse if you do. Women get turned on by what we may feel strange. My wife hates a messy house. I clean it and make her dinner before she comes home. I go to work. Kids come home before she does destroys the place. She upset i left house in disarray. Took her a few years til she realized it was our son. I had to embrace the suck. Got through it. As a teacher who over worked with over 180 teenage students, grades, lesson plans, and all the bs that comes with it i have learned her menustration cycle, that sex gets kinda seasonal like spring break, summer break, and winter break are your best times. Dont think about it during grading periods. She gonna stay up all freaking night. Just go to bed early and grab the bob toy. In the end i have been able to have a mix bag of exoerinces. There isnt much we have not done so those things probably never will. She was a virgin when i met her and i wasnt but swinging probably a bad idea. If she wants to i let her cause i did it sone befire we met. However there are fantasies that are best as fantasies then realities. She dosnt reveal her fantasies when i ask and i dont tell her everything i did in the past but she gets wet shoving that finger down my throat making me suck it like a dick and i get harder. She says it because she feels me going soft and love the feeling of it growing. I learned to just enjoy it dont bring it up because she went balistic once when i told her how turned on i got on a porn scene once we both saw. But that another subject. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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