Okay, Help Me.

[Jossie1013]

Okay I need help. I'm 27, single and am saving my virginity for marriage. I truly believe that its the best thing for me, but I"m 27 and getting frustrated. So I play. By myself. The only problem is the fact that I can't have an orgasm.

When I use only my fingers, it's more stimulating to just rub my clit, any penetration is uncomfy, for obvious reasons. It feels great, it builds and builds and then. . it kind of peters out, leaving me vaguely unsatisfied. Its as if I've reached the end of the road, but nothing happens. There's a little bit of a shudder and that's it. At this point my clit is too sensitive to touch anymore and I've sort of got this let down feeling, having gained no satisfaction and my body suddenly uninterested in continuing.

When I use my vibrator, it eventually goes farther. I read Mikayla's article about a G-spot orgasm, and that's what it's kind of like, when I use the vibrator on my clit for a long time. It ebbs and flows but usually I can get to that point and then it explodes, but I'm not sure it's an orgasm, (gosh that's naive sounding!) and if it is there's usually quite a bit of fluid and it does have a bit of a urine odor. Not overwhelmingly so, but it doesn't smell like cloves, and the G-spot isn't being stimulated at all. If this is an orgasm, why does it smell like urine? Because I can tell you that doesn't sound like the most romantic thing ever.

I've just bought two new vibrators, both made for internal as well as external stimulation in the hope that I can experiment a little and get some answers, but any advise from ya'll I'd appreciate. Thanks

Jossie

[serwin78]

Go back and read all three articles that Mikayla wrote about having orgasms. You sound like you are making having an orgasm way too much work. It should never take you 1/2 hour to reach orgasm with any vibrator. If it does, you need to find some way to relax, and take you mind off what you are doing with that vibrator. She discusses breathing routines, and laughing as a way to relax. You can also tense entirely up as you would when you stretch or yawn, and then release, and the release will relax you . You need ot be stimulating more than one spot on your body. Concentrating solely on your clit may sound like the right way to go, but it obviously is not working for you, and it doesn't always work for other women. Work youself up to a state of excitement before turning on the vibrator. caress, massage, tickle, pull, etc. areas of you body that are sensitive to your touch. Mikayla makes a point to remind women that you can pull on you labia- both major, and minor, and in doing so, that will cause blood to rush to both the labia and your clitoris. That will engorge these areas, and make you much more sensitive. When you do use the vibrator, stay away from you clit, Tease your self, bu going around it, but not hitting it directly. When you finally feel like you are going to explode, then is the time to use that vibrator for direct stimulation. The clit has lots of nerves, but no where near as many as the tip of your index finger, for example. So, don't numb the clit with too much application with that vibrator. Using the vibrator along side of it, on top of it, under it, on the inside of your thighs and between the outer( major ) and inner ) minor ) labia is just as exciting, as those nerves are also connected to the clitoris! Use fantasy to fill your mind with excitement, while you touch yourself and then use the vibrator in conjunction with the touching.

As for your release. Urine flows from your urethra, located directly under the tip of your clitoris, and above the opening to your vagina. If you pass urine during an orgasm, ( it is possible) it will smell like urine. However, if the fluid that discharges comes out your vagina, it is fluid from the paraurethral gland, and spot of tissue on the front, or anterior, wall of your vagina, about 2-3 inches inside the opening to your vagina, that wraps around the urethra above your clitoris. If you were to use the palm of one hand to push down on the lower stomach, about where your pubic hair ends, while you stimulate your vagina with a vibrator internally, you would be likely to cause some discharge, or even a " squirt " of fluid, usually combined with a g-spot orgasm, but not always. As for whether you have had an orgasm, during an orgasm, you can expect your entire body to tense up, just as you might do when yawning and stretching, and the whole body shake. Most women feel a heat in their loins, and vagina, which tends to radiate upward towards their heart. You head feels like someone put it in a vise, and is squeezing it, and because you can't take a breathe, you think you are going to pass out. You won't. If you feel any of these things, RELAX< and just go with them. You are not going to die, you are not going to pass out, and you will be back in control after perhaps half a minute. The more orgasms you have, the faster they will be to have, and the longer and more intense they can become.

So, stay with what you are doing, only do more of it. But, don't be using a vibrator or any mechanical device on your clit or anywhere else on your body for more than 15 minutes. After that amount of time, the nerves have gone numb, and you are getting no where. Go find another way to relax and get excited. You can always come back to your vibrator later when you do get excited, and are approaching the orgasm.

Have fun.

Howard

I am sooo glad to get some advice!!!!!!!!!!

[serwin78]

Welcome to the forum, Tink78. I hope that advise helps you, as well others. I write this type of thing not just to answer a specific question, but to give other readers, often men and women who are too shy to come on the forum and post a question, the same help. You are not alone, and I hope that this will give you the courage to ask more questions. There are a fine groups of members who regularly read the posts here, and try to help when they can. We currently have more active women members who participate frequently in asking questions and giving answers, but we do have a lot of male readers who are just as interested in the answers. They just don't feel comfortable asking questions. It a " guy " thing. Like asking directions when they are driving somewhere.

Howard

I am a "clit" girl. That is the only way I can seem to get any arousal. Is there a product or something to hit it with vaginal and clitoral fun?

Also, I know it sounds stupid, but what is g-spot?

Thanks,

Shelley

[Jossie1013]

Maybe I need a tutor. . . . .Its just not happening. I read the articles, I was totally relaxed. . . .but I just couldn't get over the hump (no pun intended.) Why am I frustrating myself this way again?

Jossie

[Jossie1013]

Well I have to agree honestly that most likely it's about control. I'm a control freak kind of girl. But i don't know how to go about getting around that. How do I fix it? Get drunk? (Never done that either. . . ) I have to say that I've heard that alcohol inhibits this sort of thing, so that's unlikely. Does anyone have any ideas? Just telling myself that its a control issue isn't really turning the trick.

Thanks

Jossie

[Kathey]

Wow, I am so glad that I am not the only one with this issue. I am not actually sure if I have ever actually had an orgasm. I am pretty sure that I have come close both with a man as well as on my own, but I always sort of feel like I have left myself hanging and I have no idea what exactly I am supposed to feel. I have read the education articles and tried all of the tips and advice and I think I get really close, but I always fell like I never quite get released for lack of a better way to put it. I have been using a dual action toy that is a lot of fun and I get to the point where my entire body is shaking and convulsing, but I can't quite seem to get over the edge or I am just missing something and that is what the orgasm is and I just have some fantasy about what it is supposed to be. What the heck am I actually supposed to be feeling and how do I know if I have actually orgasmed??? Since I am not in a relationship and have no prospects on the horizon, I am on my own here so any advice is greatly appreciated.