Jump to content
Official Community Forums Home

Have you exhausted everything to save it?


Recommended Posts

  • Members

When to throw in the towel.☀️

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Recently I’ve chatted with other members  who are in sexless marriages. They want to throw in the towel.It is my belief that marriage and parenting are the two toughest jobs in the world. Yes life gets in the way. That’s where communication comes in. You have to have that or you have nothing in my view. Medical issues can come into play. That’s where patience and kindness come into play. See a doctor or several exhausting all measures to rule that out. Lastly it takes Two. You can try therapy , role playing  remembering why you fell in love in the first place, a vacation or perhaps a weekend apart. Then and only then would I say it’s time..

COMMUNICATION is key. However if the person has fallen out of LOVE with you it’s too late. You can’t make someone fall in love with you. I hope my message helps someone. 
One other thing TOTAL HONESTY between both of you.Sorry plus TRUST. Otherwise in my opinion it can’t be saved.

My ex was a manipulative, very self-centered man. I stayed for too long thinking he would change. We did therapy but if they aren’t willing to be honest with a therapist; they won’t be honest with themselves or you.

You can’t fix a person nor change them. You can only change how you react.Like I said I stayed too long and it cost me TIME to enjoy life which I can’t get back.

Thank you,

Lonely and Divorced ☀️

  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

One other thing.Everyone needs a friend to talk to when they are going through a rough patch. However, Never bring a third party into the mix. Trust yourself and a licensed professional. They may have ulterior motives or give you the wrong guidance.☀️

  • Like 1
  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I’m going through this now. I like my husband fine enough but so I love him any more? I’m not sure. I’ve tried so many times to rejuvenate our marriage but it seems very one sided.  Not that he doesn’t care, because I think he does, but he is selfish and doesn’t know how to put in the work. I guess time will tell. 

  • Sad 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Sorry you’re going through it Katie Did It. I went through it myself . I feel for you.☀️

  • Confused 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
On 5/9/2022 at 2:23 PM, Lonely and divorced said:

Sorry you’re going through it Katie Did It. I went through it myself . I feel for you.☀️

Your advice is very insightful. 

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Thank you Katie Did It.  I really hope things work out for you.🙏☀️

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Thank you Jennifer.☀️

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...
  • Members

We struggled with the sex part until 2008 when I was told that it was never, ever going to happen again. Sex was for having kids and we're done with that. After arguments, counseling, etc., she told me in a heated argument that I should just go get it from someone else (actually mentioning our friend who in the "olden" days we were particularly friendly with and who we used to vacation together with her husband. Skinny dipping.....the whole deal). She even said she had already talked to our friend. So the deal was that I wouldn't bring anyone home, any disease home or do anything in public that would embarrass her. It's been like that ever since. NOT what I was looking for but having such a violent reaction to even telling an adult joke or telling her how sexy her dress looked on her was totally and complete opposite from how our relationship began. Not sure how it got like it did, but that's her personality and I'm not sure that all the other great things about her are things I'm willing to give up. But not having intimacy...not being allowed to sleep in the same bed, or in the same room...even on a trip in a hotel....I'm not OK with that. She turns the tv off if an intimate scene comes on. Just not what I thought I'd be dealing with at this point.

That being said, I have a number of friends from a variety of walks in life that I can enjoy intimacy with and that's how we got over it. Not exactly throwing in the towel, but conceding some things. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use & Privacy Policy