Confused?

[lilmomma]

Ok me and my fiance have been together over 6 years and have a child and one on the way. I give him bj's and swallow now, he will go down on me, BUT he only licks the clit. I would like him to explore more, but he wont? Do guys normally do that or just me being crazy? I dont know how to ask him. I also bought our first toys a month or so ago. I got him Cock rings and a dual bullet to spice up our sex life some and break the shell. It has not worked well yet. I dont think we know how to really use the rings either. Also how to work the bullet into it? He likes to just use his fingers instead of any toy. I guess that is good, but it is nice for change as well. I am open to any suggestions. Ok now I feel stupid.

[thurisas]

It seems to me that you just need to give him a little direction down there. Chances are he's comfortable with what he's doing because its working, or at the very least he thinks its working perfectly well. As always, communication is the key. A simple "oh, do that again" when he gets it just right...or a "don't stop". The only way he'll get out of that comfort zone(I've been in this position myself before) is if you talk to him about it. It's been mentioned here before but I'll say it again, good lovers are made, not born. I can't imagine not exploring, but then, I love giving oral.

As far as the bullet, perhaps he just hasn't seen how much more intense your reactions will be when he uses it on you, and maybe you just need to show him what you like. Expiriment on your own. On the flip side of the coin, maybe you haven't found the right places to put it on his shaft, balls, and the areas around them. I think once that happens, the willingness to use toys will open up. I know it did for me.

I'd love to give you advice on the cock rings, but we've only just started using them ourselves so I'll just say this... Some go around the shaft, some around the shaft and balls, some have bullets, some have two loops(one for shaft and one for balls). The idea is to restrict the bloodflow one way and to keep him harder. The orgasms for him will be explosive if used right, and you'll get a slightly fuller feeling.

I hope some of this helps you out.

Thurisas

[Tyger]

Let me start off by saying that you should never feel stupid when asking a question. That's a big way how you learn new things.

Second, your boyfriend may not even KNOW that that's what you want him to do! If you're moaning and letting him know that you like his attention on your clit, which most women do, then he may not think he should move from that spot. Slightly push his head down, or sexily tell him to lick your lips. Some men need direct directions, no beating around the bush (no pun intended).

As far as the toys go, Thurasis is right. Experimenting with the different positions and areas that your bullet goes is key to learning where it gives you the most pleasure. For men, it's usually on the balls, under the balls, between the balls and anus, and sometimes, gently, on the shaft of the penis. Women tend to like the direct stimulation of it on the clit, around the clit, on the labia, and even teasing the nipples. The intensity of the vibes is a personal preference. I, for instance, love love love strong vibes. The stronger, the better.

Cockrings can be tricky. Some work, some don't. If he doesn't like the one you chose, have him go with you either to an adult store, or online, to pick one out himself. Same with bullets. Some work better than others. Just because you may not have found the toy you bought works, doesn't mean something else wouldn't. Using a sex toy once or twice doesn't guarantee an orgasm. Trial and error, finding out what you like and what gets you off is important when choosing a new sex toy. If you haven't orgasmed, or know what does it for you, you will have a hard time finding something that will help.

I would suggest you look at the Sex Toy Reviews and see what our reviewers have said about toys. Some reviews are on the items shopping page too. So, you can see what/how/why a toy worked for someone, or not.