Orgasm Differences With Sex And Toys?

[srvtt]

I guess this one is mainly directed at the women of the group. I recently got my wife a rabbit-type vibrator. She had mentioned that vibrators had worked well in the past but she mainly used them as clit stimulators and didn't really like inserting them into her vagina. She had a normal one but we hadn't used it together in years. For our 10 year anniversary, I thought I'd get her a new one since I had heard very good things about them. Well, to make a long story short, it took her all of maybe 1 minute to have what seemed like one of the most intense orgasms I have seen her have.

Male ego aside (hoping I didn't just give her my replacement), my question is "is there a consistently signifcant increase in the intensity of orgasm with these dual action vibrators?" Or is it mainly the fact that two areas are being stimulated? She is able to orgasm with cowgirl and oral sex, but would she be less satisfied physically without the vibe because it seems much more intense? Does orgasm intensity matter to women?

As a man, I know I experience differences in intensity of orgasm depending on how long it has been since my last orgasm, but that is the only consistent thing. Sometimes it will be more intense with sex, sometimes blowjobs, and rarely masturbation. I have to say that I don't think I've ever considered an orgasm to be "bad." Maybe that's what she thinks. I will eventually ask her, but I thought I'd solicit a few opinions from the group first. Now if I could only find something along the lines of a rabbit for me...

[Mikayla1]

Great question! I will give you the cold, hard, truth! Most dual action vibrators (like the rabbit) which supply clitoral AND stimulation at the same time WILL give your wife a quicker orgasm. Why? Well, because statistically, 80-85% of ALL women NEED clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and upwards of 90% of ALL women have their greatest orgasms (via sex or toy) when there is insertion AND clitoral stimulation. The vibrator does things your penis can not - and faster.

Now, to qualify this - most women will tell you (including myself) that while my vibes can get me off very quickly - it is not always the BEST orgasm that I have. Personally, I think my best orgasms come when my hubby and I are intimately connected, there has been a lot of foreplay, we are fucking like we can't get enough of each other and I add clitoral stimulation via hand or toy. Then, my whole body goes into t rythm with his and I feel totally at peace and can release everything.

So, while my toys may be able to get me off faster - faster is not always better. Just like men who masturbate and can get themselves off in a few minutes because they are just looking for the release - women have that too. There are times I just want to "get off" and that is when the toys can be most instrumental.

Or, we use the toys together, I have an orgasm or two and this gets me ripe and ready for our lovemaking and my orgasms will be more intense with my hubby! There is no rul on how many orgasms you can have!

You mention the ways your wife can orgasm - oral sex and cowgirl. Does this mean that when you are having sex that she does NOT touch her clit? I would IMPLORE her or you to do this. She will be better able to orgasm in any position if she has clitoral stimulation provided by someone or something. This does NOT in any way take away from your "power" or "skill" as a lover - she is still getting the wonderful penetration from your cock - but needs more direct stimulation. Plus, there is nothing like feeling her clamp down on you in the throws of orgasm! Get her to multiples - enjoy all the orgasms - oral and otherwise.

As for do women care about the intensity of our orgasms? Well, I can speak for myself and I can say that I love all my orgasms. The quick ones, the squirty ones, the intense ones, the ones that make me laugh. I can also say that the orgasms that make me laugh - which are the most complete orgasms I can have - have only happened when my hubby's cock is in me and I am stimulating my clit. Better than any toy - although many toys are DAMN good!

Is there a rabbit for a man? Sure! Any toy that vibrates can help you out. Have your wife use them on you balls during oral, or on your MDP (million dollar point) during foreplay or sex. Men can benefit from the vibrations as well - and you may want to consider anal penetration. Many men report that this gives them their most intense orgasms!

As for what you can use alone - masturbators and such are good investments. I am not sure how they stack up to things you have already tried, but it may be worth a look!

Thanks for the question - and I am glad to hear that you are not intimidated by your wife's toy. You shouldn't be. As long as you are giving her pleasure - then your cock will always be her favorite toy!

[srvtt]

Thanks for the feedback. As far as cowgirl is concerned, she does face me and grind. I just let my hands and tongue wander. I thought if she faced away it was reverse cowgirl. Wording aside, my point was that she is able to orgasm during sex, but it isn't the penetration that does it, it's the clit stimulation.

I did initially feel a little "intimidated" by the speed and intensity of the orgasm that resulted from the rabbit (actually an elephant, but that's beside the point). I thought, "Damn, I can't compete with that!" We tried a double dolphin cock ring but the vibrations were too strong for her and not adjustable. She did manage to orgasm with her on top, but I don't think it was nearly as good as the vibrator. I didn't specifically ask her about it because I don't want to make it seem like I want her to rate each and every orgasm. I wouldn't want to be asked that either. What is really important is that she's enjoying herself and we're having fun together. I get extremely turned on watching her. She did say that orgasms from the new vibe drains her much more than usual (orgasms from oral sex or her on top) so we'll try "me first" next time and I'll finish her off with the vibe.

I know men place more of an emphasis on the end result of an orgasm. I think this is one reason why men feel competition from a vibrator (they get her there faster). The other reason I believe is that a lot of those rabbit vibrators are huge and in my estimation larger than the average penis size. I also believe women value the journey more than the end result. My wife tells me that an orgasm is not essential for her to enjoy sex, and it is probably true for a lot of women. For them an orgasm is a plus, but probably not 100% essential in every sexual encounter.

Vibration has always been pleasurable to me, but nowhere near enough to finish the deal. I would think a male "rabbit" would be something like a moving artificial vagina. Place it over your tool and turn it on. Perhaps with adjustments for speed, grip, and length of the stroke. Maybe I can come up with something...

[Tyger]

Your comment "I hope I didn't buy my replacement [in the bedroom]" really is one of the biggest reasons people don't use sex toys. I realize that you probably don't REALLY believe that, but I just felt I had to point that out.

Yes, as a woman, I will say that a vibrator/clit stimulator gets me off faster, and can sometimes be a bit more intense than with my husband. Just like men, sometimes women just want that quick release too.

That does NOT mean that I don't orgasm making love with my husband, or that I prefer my toys over him. That is not the case. Toys don't offer love, companionship, laughter, sharing, friendship, caring, or support. My orgasms with my husband are more intimate than with toys alone. Orgasms with toys when my husband is using them on me are mindblowing.

[cfhayback]

Howard...

A point on "Cowgirl". Cowgirl is when the woman is on top, facing towards her partner, thereby facilitating both vaginal and clitoral stimulation. Reverse-Cowgirl is girl on top, facing away fom her partner.

[Tyger]

Very good point Blissful!!