My So Loves Anal But I Don't

[tlaurits]

My SO adores anal, he always wants to do it. I on the other hand have tried it a couple of times and don't really like it. I don't know what it is about it, it seems dirty to me and it hurts. I do participate in this act because he loves it so much, and he keeps telling me that it is supposed to be enjoyable. He never makes me do it, or attempts to do it without my consent, but this is something that he enjoys so I want to do it to please him. I'm not sure though, I mean he obviously likes it because it's tight and sort of taboo, but I'm sort of afraid that it means that if we do it all the time, he won't want to do it any other way.

The only time I have remotely enjoyed any anal experience is when he's going down on me and gently inserts a finger. But he wants to try anal beads and other anal toys and it scares me. Also, I think that he wants me to do anal things to him, but again I can't get past the whole unclean thing.

We have tried it with plenty of lube, and it still hurts. I just purchased some anal ease so we'll see if this helps. I really want to get past this, but I'm not sure if I can...any ideas?

[Mikayla1]

With just the fact that you are trying to do this because your partner likes it is an important first step. I will tell you though, if you have these mental blocks telling you that anal is "unclean" or taboo - you will never enjoy it. Sex is as much a psychological act - or more so of one - than a physical act. If you feel that something is wrong or evil or dirty - you will never find the innate pleasure in it!

Let's face it, anal sex can be somewhat "unclean" as you are inserting something into the anal canal. There are ways to make it cleaner - enemas for example - or eating lighter, having a BM, an gently cleansing yourself. The fact is, your bf doesn't find this dirty or unclean b/c he understands what you don't - that anal sex is a pleasurable experience and the "poop" comes with the territory!

Many, or even most, men do like anal sex because it is tight, and a bit taboo - but your bf also wants YOU to enjoy it - which shows that he is not in it only for him. He is rare among men in that he is willing to accept things into HIS anal canal as well. So many men are willing to fuck their partners up the ass - but would NEVER let anything go into their own - that is monumental for him. He knows that both men and women have the same, exact pleasure nerves in their anal canals and he wants to experience that pleasure too. This is NO WAY means he is gay or anything else.

I would suggest reading my article "Everything Anal" in the sex ed section. This gives many helpful hints and information that I am most sure would help you. Let me also tell you, that if anal sex hurts - you are doing something wrong. Anal sex should not hurt - although it may be a little uncomfortable as your rectum gets used to the size of the penis or toy. Using a LOT of lube is essential to not having pain. Once you get over the mental block, the pleasure will surely come.

I would also suggest opening up to the idea of anal beads or toys. Most times people start with toys and finish with the penis. Perhaps using an anal toy can show you just how pleasurable anal sex can be. The pure fact that you can here for advice is a testament to your willingness to try new things - and I applaud you.

So, read my article and try to see anal sex differently. If, after more trying and reading and understanding you still hate it - be honest with him! At least you gave it a good try. Then, try to be open to doing anal things to him - most men LOVE the experience once they have had it!