Retro Double Feature

[Mikayla1]

Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow....this is definitely your DADDY's porn - straight from the era of 'Behind the Green Door'! This adult entertainment double feature by Adam and Eve is reminiscent of all things "retro!" From a time when Ron Jeremy was THIN and not so pudgy / gross looking - this porno will take you back to a time when adult entertainment was called a PORNO! With all your favorite retro-sheik characteristics like: FULL and I mean F U L L bushes, blue eyeshadow, garters and stockings (you know, the TAN topped ones?), TITTY-FUCKING galore, money shots, small, natural breasts, blowjobs a plenty, real-time sex scenes (about 5 minutes of actual sex), BAD costumes (boas and lace are abounding), NO PLOT (but pornos aren't supposed to right?) and sex that is.....sex.

That describes what you will SEE on these films, what you will hear is the typical mus-AK associated with porn, soundtracks that do not match the actors, orgasm sounds that are obviously faked, and some really bad dialogue.

What is missing from these films: SHAVEN snatches, really dirty language, anal sex, toys, lesbians that want to be lesbians, strap-ons, creative sex scenes, good oral sex for the women and interesting costuming and appearances!

There is also a noticeable difference in the male actors "penile size" in my opinion. They were all average or below (Ron Jeremy excluded), had WAY too much pubic hair hiding their crowing glory, and had NO stamina whatsoever! This goes to prove that this film was done BEFORE penis pumps and Viagra!

This film totally failed to do anything for me (or my hubby) but I am confident in saying it was all about the non-shaven pussies for us! There is NO attempt at trimming or waxing and the guys have to go a diggin' to find anything resembling the clit! That is an instant turn off for me.

I am also a girl who prefers the fake-baked, full-fake breasted, pierced, fully shaven snatched, dirty talking, acrobatic, strap-on wearing, anal sex having, pussy licking, orgy having girls of today's films. I prefer my men husky not wimpy, I like hot sex with great scenes (although the jungle sex scene in Oriental Jade is quite good - that girl has MAD skills!) I just prefer things cleaner in general. I think what lost it for me in the second feature was the putting on of lipstick...on her LOWER lips! Uggghhhh!

So, why get this film? Waxing sentimental baby! If you are a porno conossieur, you will want to add these retro classics to your collection. This was a time when sex was sex, and these actors were pioneers in the industry. Doing what seemed "dirty" then - but was just the beginning of what we have today! Of course, if you are into the "retro porn" thing - then this is IT for you! From a time when a hard-on was unmedically assisted and the girls really worked during the movie - this retro-romp will have you laughing, crying, and saying "ewwwww" - but it is still worth the watch!

Go RETRO Baby!!

[Tyger]

25

Well, can we say FLASHBACK? The 80’s are back for both Oriental Jane and All American Girls Double Feature, 2 disc set. Grab your leg warmers, blue eyeshadow, and headbands and follow me to watch these films!

Down and dirty raw sex await you as well as all natural bodies, small breasts & dicks, bushy beavers, hairy backs, bad hair, music, & lots of make up.

Both films do have some great close ups. Lots of enthusiastic cock sucking, titty fucking (which really isn’t seen much anymore), jism flying action, cheezy “porno” music, & costumes that look as if they shopped bad garage sales, bad acting, and an even thin Ron Jeremy (yes, he really WAS at one time!!), also grace the screen for you.

This was a definite Old School collection though. Not to my tastes at all. Why get it? Nostalgia! Remembering big hair, and thinking, oh my gosh, did I actually WEAR some of that stuff?? Oh yes, yes I did!! LOL

I wasn’t overly impressed with this film. But, I too, am the type of person that like the women looking a bit more bare, with fake breasts, and the men clean shaven, smooth bodies, tattooed, built, and hung! Not that I’m saying that natural bodies aren’t beautiful, because they are. That’s just what I am use to when watching my fantasy porns.

1980-porno-somethin'