Fantasies With Bikini Bottoms

[cbachinger]

This is as best in one sentence i can describe my situation.

I have for a long time now (since childhood actually) been attracted to seeing bikini/panty bottoms; for the oddest reason i 'admire' the slight bulge made by the pubic hair or fleshy mons.

I have the fascination of women having almost 'nothing to show' and so seem to show off a gentle mound instead.

This fascination is also linked to any tight bottoms worn by women and this is what can set my hormones to make me want to masterbate. The problem is i do not want to every time i 'just feel like doing it' because of what i see or fantasize. My only remedy i seem to have is to keep myself busy at all times and so keep my mind occupied. I have guessed the rest is just having control over yourself like women can; only they are experts and i admittedly and HUGELY envy them over this!!

I DID have a collection of porn and cameltoe pics for a few months but then i wanted to go through (and kinda did) a 'purification process' and also coz i was limited with space, i deleted everything. But i feel i am coming back to square one again.

I am happy to masterbate if i wake up in the morning with an erection; my hormones are acting and not just my dick!

I have been previously advised by Yahoo forum members to do it when i feel i want to and there is no problem with the fantasizing. I want to at least have some control as to when i am happy to do so (recall i said women are experts with controlling themselves?) I know there is no problem fantasizing (everyone does so).

Advice of ANY sort welcome!

Many thanks in advance.

[Mikayla1]

Welcome to the Forum!

What you have is a fetish - and you probably know that - and it is a particular fetish. This is NORMAL as long as the fetish involves adults and normal activity.

Masturbation IS normal. When it becomes NOT normal is if it takes you away from friends, family or other things. If you masturbate in the morning, then in the afternoon and at night - it is STILL OK. Now, if you are at work and stopping your work to look at pictures on the internet and going to the bathroom 5 times a day - I would say that is NOT OK.

People have different sexual drives and needs - some have HIGH drives (as you seem to) and some lower. I suspect you are younger - so this would be consistent for a young man.

A lot of people go through these stages where they begin to feel that their masturbating is taking too much time, or that they are doing it too much. While it is good to self-monitor, these feelings are natural and healthy. As I said before, as long as you are engaging in life, as it were, you are fine and what you are doing is healthy!

Oh, and if you are looking for more "material" try Sexylabia.com - the photographer there also has an admiration for that soft bulge!

[cbachinger]

Thank you for your eagerly waited reply!

I actually wasnt even considering a fetish theme but i understand and agree with you there.

But is there any "guidance" about possible excess masterbation?

Simply put, masterbating even when women are able to control themselves for a good time. It sounds like a weakness - besides me being young (26 yrs) girls at my age probably dont even have to touch themselves at all, even if they are no longer virgins.

My ex and i were separated for the first time for 1 1/2 month after 2 months together and many occasions engaging in intercourse and she didnt have the urge to touch herself for that whole time; and she can have a MAJOR sex drive. But i went so mad (at one time x3 daily) during that time that i gradually developed a small rash on my glans and i felt like i had a weakness in me about controlling myself.

I find myself confused. Should i carry on with fetish pics and porn and masterbate everyday and still feel kinda off or "clean myself" as i dont want this to ruin possible future plans in family life as an example. But as you said, if it doesnt interrupt in life. But can it indirectly? I hope you catch my drift.

OR should i just accept that i have such an interest and drives and do when my body tells me? Sounds like being a slave to your own mind.

If i may also say; i also get urges to involve myself in fetish as a solo act - using a speedo. This feeling has been in my head as i had mentioned since childhood. Sounds kinda diff to what you have heard before, eh? I even bought a high-cut swimsuit from a sex shop for myself! - but i came back to realization a couple days later.

This i consider to be the only major crack in my life that has occurred for how long. Other then that, i am a very respectable man and well supported and sorted out life.

[Mikayla1]

Everyone has something that "does it" for them. It can be something as simple as lingerie, it could be feet, it could even just be someone's scent. There is almost always some sort of trigger for both sexes that gets them really hot. These are NORMAL - as long as they do not involve children or death - otherwise, most things are pretty normal desires - even if a bit odd.

The camel-toe thing is very, very, very common! I mean VERY common! I am sure you could find support groups online about it. THe same with your "speedo" fetish / interest. I would not worry about those things too much, I hear you saying things like, "clean myself" and that makes me think that you have a negative connotations associated with your masturbation.

When you say, "masterbating even when women are able to control themselves for a good time. It sounds like a weakness - besides me being young (26 yrs) girls at my age probably dont even have to touch themselves at all, even if they are no longer virgins."

are you asking if because you masturbate when your partner is able to NOT be intimate that it makes you weak? Honey, I have news for you, women of ALL ages, virgins and non-virgins alike masturbatre more than most would admit! I personally masturbate quite a bit, always have. Some of my friends would never admit it, but they masturbate a lot too. Masturbation is normal, healthy and expected and not everyone does it the same amounts.

Your ex-wife is not going to cop to how much she masturbates, women just don't talk about that stuff as openly as men - on average anyway. Why punish yourself for being horny? That is the crux of most of your issue here.

I can not tell you how or how much to masturbate as there is no societal standard for what is "normal" - I can say if you are feeling odd, off or guilty about it and find that it is disturbing your "family life" in some way, you may want to discuss those things with a counselor. There is a reason you are worried about this that isn't clearly coming out here. Perhaps your wife thinks your obessive masturbating is downplaying her worth in the relationship.

As far as being a "slave in your own mind" this is sort of how a fetish works. When someone with a fetish sees that fetish, they get the urge to masturbate or have sex or whatever. It is a mental turn on - so in the way, you are a slave to your fetish. Now, if the fetish is something that you are looking up on the internet ALL day, doing at work, seeking out 24/7, then you have a limitation problem. It is not the fetish, per se, that is causing the issue, it is the lack of satisfaction from frequent urges - they are becoming too constant - and that I would consider a problem.

As far as your speedo fetish or turn on - no, that is not the most bizarre thing I have ever heard. It is pretty mild actually.

For you to feel that this activity puts a "crack" in your life and somehow threatens to damage your status as a respectable man, makes me wonder exactly WHY you feel that way? I would suggest talking to a sex counselor. I can give you advice, tell you I think it is OK, or tell you what limits I think are important to respect, but you seem very distraught and for that reason, I would seek professional advice. I am sure it will make you situation seem much more common!

Good Luck!!

[Tyger]

Again, so long as your fetish (which doesn't mean you're addicted to it, it means that it's your THING that you just LOVE to see) doesn't interfere with your everyday life, you will be fine. In other words, you don't stay home from work, or not want to have sex with your SO, but rather just look at pics of bikini bottoms. When dating, you can admit to these fantasies to get your GFs interested in wearing them. An added bonus to a relationship!

Masturbating several times a day won't decrease your fertility. At least not enough to truly matter. The male body produces sperm all of the time. So, whatever is ejaculated, is replenished soon after. A few hours or so, and you're tank is pretty much full. The only real things that will do that are diet, exercise (or lack of), smoking, drug usage. If you're truly concerned about your fertility, when you find the woman you want to have a child with, then go to a fertility specialist.

Best wishes, and have fun!

[Tyger]

Again, so long as your fetish (which doesn't mean you're addicted to it, it means that it's your THING that you just LOVE to see) doesn't interfere with your everyday life, you will be fine. In other words, you don't stay home from work, or not want to have sex with your SO, but rather just look at pics of bikini bottoms. When dating, you can admit to these fantasies to get your GFs interested in wearing them. An added bonus to a relationship!

Masturbating several times a day won't decrease your fertility. At least not enough to truly matter. The male body produces sperm all of the time. So, whatever is ejaculated, is replenished soon after. A few hours or so, and you're tank is pretty much full. The only real things that will do that are diet, exercise (or lack of), smoking, drug usage. If you're truly concerned about your fertility, when you find the woman you want to have a child with, then go to a fertility specialist.

Best wishes, and have fun!

[cbachinger]

Thank you so much for your comments.

I wish to clarify something and it was actually my fault for not saying it properly. I am aware that masterbation does not cause fertility I was actually a quick student in Bio

What i meant was, I do not wish my fetish hunger to interrupt in future family events or will it slowly disappear or "cool down" in time when i have one and a partner to be with? As what was mentioned, I can let my SO be aware of my fetish desires and she will probably be turned on by that My last ex actually loved it herself

I think i have been somewhat convinced now (and ive been a bit stubborn to completely come to terms with it). EVERYONE, even those who we probably think dont masterbate do and yes, if there is an excess in testosterone it is punishment on myself not to release it. I now believe i have been pressured by societal belief that girls hardly need to and so think you may be another typical guy but actually they probably do it as much as you do. I am now actually feeling phsycologically more relaxed about myself Thank you. I dont have to be "cleaned" It is just an ungrasped concept and unrealised realistic nature about me for a loong time.

When i answered yes to my ex about going out and sleeping with another girl, she actually reminded me of her own high sex drive and that she has been able to control it; and she doesnt like masterbating (she prefers the real thing). That actually made me feel weak and guilty inside. She has a very strong mind and i believe that is what is able to keep her urges under control. To me that also sounds like punishment.