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Doing Everythng And Not Getting Any


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I'm 23, about to be 24. I'm in the military and full time college. Ive been with my fiance for close to three years, I met her while on deployment and we've been inseparable ever since. Two years ago we were both in perfect shape and condition and we had sex like rabbits for over a year but since then we have both gained a little weight. I gained 20 lbs, since then Ive lost 15 of it. She gained close to a hundred and has barley lost 30. I love her and am supportive of helping her lose weight but she still feels insecure, especially when it comes to the bedroom because of her weight. Coupled with that is her sex drive, she doesn't seem to have one anymore. Shortly after we first met we decided to get her on birth control because condoms were running us a lot of money. After taking the birth control we didn't have sex as much because she couldn't get aroused as much anymore. Almost a year later she stopped taking it and has been free of birth control ever since, however, now its even worse and she has no sex drive at all almost. We don't have sex at all, she wont even give me a BJ now and then to satisfy me because she isn't in the mood for any kind of sex. Its gotten to the point where t doesn't even bother her that much because its been this way so long. Its been about three weeks since we had sex and she forced herself to do it because she wasn't in the mood and I had been away on business for two weeks. I don't know what to do, its caused some friction between us. I love her and cant wait to marry her but to go from having sex at least every other day to once every three weeks if that is very bothersome. PLEASE help of give any suggestion, I'll be very greatfull for any help.

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She needs to talk to her doctor, it could be he hormones or it could just be a mental block

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Being heavier can impede your sex life in more ways than one. First, the self esteem issue - when we don't feel sexy, we can't be sexy. Extra weight for many men and women means low self esteem. Second, extra weight can throw your body into a hormonal crisis and this can really diminish your sex life.

So, yes, take Kris' advice -have her go to the doctor. Get on a nutritional plan (100 pounds of extra weight is a health concern) - and talk to him or her about her libido. It can be a simple solution. The weight will be a more serious issue to address and I am sure she will need you to help her deal.

Also, ensure her that you still find her attractive, love her and want to have sex with her. Help to make her feel sexy by acting like she is sexy to you (even if the weight is a little distracting, it is HER you love, so be supportive) and make it known that you want to make love to her.

While I do not suggest that you ignore her weight issue - it is not fair nor healthy to do so - I do suggest you support her and help her to feel worthy and sexual by helping her to feel thusly.

In the meantime, suggest she goes to the doctor and get a health plan in place! Good luck!

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