Cyber Sex

[Jade]

O.k, when me and my fiance were dating (and I was living at home) we could see/talk to each other every day. Now that I live with him, I can only talk to him when he gets home from work. We don't have a house phone and he carries the cell with him to work. That being said, he LOVES phone sex when he's at work, like on his lunch hour and stuff because he says it feels naughty and dangerous (like he will get caught). So now we can't talk when he's at work, but he checks his email all the time. I was wondering if anyone had any tips on sending him sexy emails or things like that to turn him on at work. Any suggestions?

[Jade]

Well, Our sex life has left very little to still be explored, and thank you for the sugestions, there's not much that makes me blush anymore.

Also, it's not that he can't receive calls, I have no house phone to call him on. He uses our only phone when he goes to work. He won't get in trouble, as it is a personal email account he is aloud to check whenever he isn't busy

I am also asking, because the last time we did anything other than a quick "get off" was before my daughter was born and I would like to make things "fun" again.

[Mikayla1]

I am sorry, I have to ask...you are 18 (fairly young) and you are already trying to find ways to make sex fun "again?" WOW....I wonder why it is that you already have to work so hard at it. While I applaud your efforts to spice your relationship up - any relationship can use some of that - and I agree with Howard's suggestions. I am more interested in why it is you feel like you need to make it fun "again?"

[Jade]

I am sorry, I have to ask...you are 18 (fairly young) and you are already trying to find ways to make sex fun "again?" WOW....I wonder why it is that you already have to work so hard at it. While I applaud your efforts to spice your relationship up - any relationship can use some of that - and I agree with Howard's suggestions. I am more interested in why it is you feel like you need to make it fun "again?"

As I said in my reply, I have a three month old daughter and sex is not what it used to be. We have been together for three years and had an active sex life for almost two years before my daughter was born. Now that I have a child, sex must be quick because "the baby is/will be awake and wanting attention" (his words)

I'm just looking for a little more.

[*Mikayla's~Man*]

Ahhhhh, he is suffering from "Daddy brain!" Many times this is a female thing - the woman gets "Mommy Brain" and can't focus her attention on sex. Mikayla told me all about this after our first son was born. I felt a duty to keep her "pure" or something. Granted, I was very horny and that did not last long at all, especially since she was ready and eager to have sex again and I am only a mortal man who can't pass up good sex.

Howard is right, that child knows NOTHING of what you are doing. Parents need their personal time too, they need to connect and be loving and caring, it is the best thing you can do for your child. Make sure he realizes that!

MM

[Tyger]

I have to agree with the whole "Daddy Brain" thing.

If your baby sleeps for a couple hours, at least, every night, then, let that time be adult playtime. Granted, sleep may be more on the priority levels, but, you both need to understand that having a baby, while it DOES change the nature of the relationship, should NOT kill the sex. Easier said than done, I know.

And, allowing the baby to "cry-it-out" every so often, so long as you KNOW what cry means what, maybe have a monitor, or even a survelance tv in the baby's room (if the baby isn't in your room), then letting the baby cry for a few minutes won't be harmful to her. Letting her cry a bit is good. She will learn to self-sooth, and self-entertain.

If you are at home, with the baby, then your SO should most definitely leave the cell phone with YOU! He has a phone at work! What if there's an emergency with the baby? What if he needs to pick something up on the way home from work, so you or the baby won't be out of something? That is, IMO, selfish of him to do. I know, men love gadgets, but he needs to think of you and the baby's safety, ahead of his desire to look modern!!!

[Jade]

I have to agree with the whole "Daddy Brain" thing.

If your baby sleeps for a couple hours, at least, every night, then, let that time be adult playtime. Granted, sleep may be more on the priority levels, but, you both need to understand that having a baby, while it DOES change the nature of the relationship, should NOT kill the sex. Easier said than done, I know.

And, allowing the baby to "cry-it-out" every so often, so long as you KNOW what cry means what, maybe have a monitor, or even a survelance tv in the baby's room (if the baby isn't in your room), then letting the baby cry for a few minutes won't be harmful to her. Letting her cry a bit is good. She will learn to self-sooth, and self-entertain.

If you are at home, with the baby, then your SO should most definitely leave the cell phone with YOU! He has a phone at work! What if there's an emergency with the baby? What if he needs to pick something up on the way home from work, so you or the baby won't be out of something? That is, IMO, selfish of him to do. I know, men love gadgets, but he needs to think of you and the baby's safety, ahead of his desire to look modern!!!

Well, my husband has heart problems, and it's a half hour drive to work, he uses the phone for those times, I live in an apartment building, so if there is an emergency, I have friends right across the hall. The phone is more for his safety when he drives. But anyways, back to my original post question........

P.S. Our parenting style does not include cry-it-out, and we have her crib in our room for a reason. We pick her up when she cries, but that is a totally different topic.