Tyger Posted October 31, 2007 Report Share Posted October 31, 2007 SOUTHERN GRANDMOTHER ON THE WITNESS STAND All Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you don't have the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died. The judge immediately told both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted November 1, 2007 Members Report Share Posted November 1, 2007 Dam girl I think these 2 are at our county courthouse!!!!! I love it!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blackcard Posted January 1, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 1, 2008 LMFAO ROFL *whipes tears* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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