The Opposite I Am Lasting To Long

[staubina]

i am out lasting my fiance in bed and i am not sure what to do about it. We are passionate and into the sex from the start and then she will orgasm once or twice and she is done and when she is done she starts to hurt if i am still not done so of course i stop because the last thing i want is to hurt her. I have tried longer foreplay and i am not sure what to do from here, I want to make her happy and i really like that part but she gets really sad and will sometimes start to go into tears if i don't cum because she thinks i do not think she is sexy or I am not attracted to her anymore which is very not true. So how in the hell did I go from being the one who always finishes first to needing a while to really get off....can anyone give me any advice on this one?

[Mikayla1]

How long are we talking about here? 10 minutes more, 20 minutes more? Is she lubricated enough? Many women have that orgasm or two then get 'bored' sort of, and their lubrication weens and that is what causes the pain. I would suggest some artificial lube, something warming maybe, and that might help YOU and HER.

Also, there is no rule that says you can have her orgasm, stop sex and go on to oral sex or hand play, then back in for the finale - or masturbate yourself onto her or into her. The thought that taking TOO long means she is unsexy is totally backwards! You should pat yourself on the back, cause many women complain about the opposite issue (which you point out) and so you are doing well.

Just try to find ways to keep pleasuring her and yourself until you can ejaculate. Like I said, keep her lubed, keep stimulating her and try to get her to multiples and G-spots and then you will get off as well. Also, try a bullet or a sex toy on your balls and shaft during sex, that might help you along right quick.

[froggystyle1977]

I am curious have you held yourself back to wait for her, my husband has occasionally had this problem he waits as long as he can to get me off and then has trouble getting off himself, the best thing if this is the case is to make sure you have plenty of lube and to try to stimulate her in other ways so that she isn't dry and bored.

[Tyger]

So, is this a regular thing that happens?

I've had lovers that, every so often, if we had sex for extended periods of time, they just couldn't cum. They were either too tired, distracted, or maybe some other reason. when I was younger, I also took this personally. I felt as though I did or didn't do something, and that made them unexcited. Now that I'm older I know better. The only way I got blamed, is that my lover told me he was having too much fun with me, and making me cum, and he "just lost it".

I think Froggy's right when she says that it may just be that you're taking too long because you're worried about your lover's pleasue~which of course, isn't a bad thing. The body can only take holding back so much, and then it gets too tired to do so.

Now, if you can masturbate to completion, then, there's probably nothing to worry about. When one masturbates, most often, it's for that quick release. If you want to cum for her, or have her make you cum first, why not allow her to masturbate you, using hands and mouth?

Have lube handy, because, as it was already mentioned, no matter how excited a woman can be, she can dry up. Physically, she can only get SO wet, and then her tank runs dry. Very similar to what you're going thru. Using lube isn't a bad, negative thing. It is a neccessity if you're going at it for extended periods of time.

Also, there can be other reasons why she dries up. Lots of oral can be one of them. Saliva dries things out, so really isn't the greatest thing for lubrication. If you use condoms, after a while, the lube on the condoms wears off, and then the rubber can rub painfully, creating friction. Lots of salt in her diet, or other issues can cause her dryness.

If this is a common thing, you can't cum while masturbating, and/or there's pain, best see your doctor right away.