Looking For Why It Doesn't Work Any More?

[becca011906]

Ok so we have done anal before only about 2-3 min of it never all the way in by any means but head maybe 1-2 inches more (not a lot but enough to make hubby want more LOL) but this was 4 years ago... we only did it 3 or 4 times though then i got pregnant with the 3rd and we didn't try durring the pregnancy but maybe 6-12 months after the birth... and we have tried off and on ever since w/o much luck at all so for the past 3 years we have tried, not alot of trying but once in a while we will give it a try and it never seems to work. We are using lube and i think it's a lot of lube usally we spoon so that i'm in control. I'm just wondering if it has something to do with trama that happend in my 3rd birth??? it was an extreamly fast fast birth went from 6cm. to baby's head crowning in a matter of 5-10 min. the nurse was holding the baby's head while crowing telling my not to push and wait for the dr for about 10 min or so. i had bad hemroids afterwards but it's healed up well according to my OB. All my kids were just over 9lbs and had episodimies with all 3... i'm just at a loss... maybe we need to try some plugs for streaching first?? Fingers usally aren't an issue but any time we try we bearly get the head in and i'm in a lot of pain.

[becca011906]

I think main reason is that my man wants to experiement with it since we were able to at one time and from my end of things it did feel good in a differant way and i want to test thoes waters out again... i do really!!! So i guess i'll get some more lube and give it another try with a toy that's pretty narrow on my own and see where that gets me...

again thanks for your great advice!!!!

[Tyger]

Um...YEAH!!! What iha said!

Actually, he was spot on. Anal plugs really aren't designed to "stretch" you out so much as to get your anus use to something going UP, instead of out. Getting use to different sizes, slowly, is a great way to build up to something the size of a cock. Let's face it, most men's cocks are thicker than a finger, so, it's no wonder that, if you go from a finger to his cock, there's some slight pain.

It also sounds like you're use to it hurting, so, probably not even being aware you're doing so, you're starting to tighten up your muscles, getting ready for an OWIE, and that's just defeating the whole purpose. Even though you may WANT to have anal sex, you're probably just clenching. I think that this may be the case if there's no pain when he inserts a finger.

I would also second the suggestion of using silicone lube for anal play, instead of water-based lubes. Water-based lubes are wonderful, don't get me wrong, but, they're an enhancement, since a woman can naturally lubricate herself in her vagina. So, in a water-based environment such as the vagina, that also self-lubes, these are great. The anus doesn't self-lubricate when excited. It's not designed to do this. So, a silicone lube will last longer for anal play. One of our faves is the Astroglide Anal Shooters. This lube is easy to use, comes in seperate applicators, and STAYS SLICK for a VERY long time!

As far as possible toys that can help you gradually get into anal play more comfortably, we have the E-Glass Petite Anal Plug, which I adore, and then we just purchased the Julie Ashtons Beginner's Anal Kit WITH lube. Yes, it comes with some Doc Johnson's Anal Lube, and this stuff also works awesome!!! It's a pretty inexpensive way to get pretty much everything you need (minus the batteries of course), all in one, convenient kit!

Best wishes!

[becca011906]

It also sounds like you're use to it hurting, so, probably not even being aware you're doing so, you're starting to tighten up your muscles, getting ready for an OWIE, and that's just defeating the whole purpose. Even though you may WANT to have anal sex, you're probably just clenching. I think that this may be the case if there's no pain when he inserts a finger.

I totally agree here i think that's what happening b/c very often durring sex when i'm on top his fingers (up to two has been the limit) can enter no problems but i'm usally so stimulated in the front and into it that i'm not so worried or clenching at all.

[froggystyle1977]

Looks like you got your answer it definetely sounds as if your just clenching up

expecting it to hurt there have been times when even though I am really in the

mood for anal we aren't able to go all the way because I clench up, not enough

lube in one spot, being able to relax is sometimes really difficult. I agree with

the others I think you need to get a small toy and try to do it yourself. stretching

is not usually needed but getting your body used to something being inside is

important.. goood luck and have fun!!

[becca011906]

well wanted to update the other night hubby stoped at a local place and found some silicone lube so of course we had to try again... what we tried was a possition with me on top of him like cow girl style and it worked really well !!! I did some relaxation type stuff that evening long before we were 'in the mood' it was a method I used durring my last pregnancy (like birth preperation meditation almost). and i was extreamly relaxed and it just went in with out so much as a twing of pain or discomfort. I was even able to have an O this was too. not the best O i've ever had and it won't be a 'normal' thing for us i don't think but still something to mix it up once in a while!!!

[Tyger]

CONGRATS!!! I'm so glad it worked better for you!!

[froggystyle1977]

Congrats!!!!!!!!!