Way Too Into Himself

[shellbell95827]

how do you check your man to see if he is in a closet[so to speak]? Im wondering, and worried!

[rcmit]

how do you check your man to see if he is in a closet[so to speak]?  Im wondering, and worried!

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That could be a tough one shellbell. A friend of mine had a boyfriend who was very into himself. He worked out every day (excessively), tanned nearly every day, shaped his eyebroys, covered his gray hairs, etc. What concerned my friend the most though, was that he wouldn't do anything but straight missionary, and just once - almost just as if he was fulfilling an obligation. Once, when my friend decided to finish herself off, he stormed out in disgust.

She had wondered if he was in the closet, but he always had a girlfriend (for a short time.) I know that doesn't mean that he's not gay, but if he doesn't admit it to himself, then there's no way that you're going to know. With some guys I think that it's simply a great deal of insecurity and low self-esteem. No different that a woman with an eating disorder, she's never good enough.

If you really care about this guy then you really must confront him with your concerns. Not an easy thing to do but, if you're intent on having a future with him, the honesty has got to start now.

Good luck.

[Mikayla1]

Just because men take good care of themselves, i.e. work out, wear nice clothing, etc. does NOT mean they are gay. Many men pride themselves in their looks and this has NOTHING to do with "gayness." There are also men who act in an infeminte manner who are NOT gay...stereoptypes are not a good way to tell.

Nor is the type of position a man favors, or whether he will perform oral sex or not. Although these may be indicators, they are not definitive ways to tell. The truth is, there is not definitive ways to tell if someone is or is not gay without them telling you or you catching them in the act. It is not something you can just guess or tell from the way they act, unless they make it absolutely obvious to all.

My suggestion, if you don't trust him, don't date him. If you ask him, he will get offended and deny it. If he isn't, he will be especially angry - if he is and is hiding it, he will feign ignorance and be upset. There is no good way to confront him.

If you are married and have suspicions, the only way to prove it is to hire a detective to follow him. I would only take this kind of precaution if you have children and you strongly suspect his is cheating on you with other men and you want to end the marriage. You can look for gay porn on his computer - BUT EVEN THIS DOES NOT MEAN HE IS GAY! Some straight men like to look at this too!

It is a thin line to walk....tread carefully. The first rule is, if you don't trust him, don't date him!

Good luck!

Mikayla

[shellbell95827]

That could be a tough one shellbell. A friend of mine had a boyfriend who was very into himself. He worked out every day (excessively), tanned nearly every day, shaped his eyebroys, covered his gray hairs, etc. What concerned my friend the most though, was that he wouldn't do anything but straight missionary, and just once - almost just as if he was fulfilling an obligation. Once, when my friend decided to finish herself off, he stormed out in disgust.

She had wondered if he was in the closet, but he always had a girlfriend (for a short time.) I know that doesn't mean that he's not gay, but if he doesn't admit it to himself, then there's no way that you're going to know. With some guys I think that it's simply a great deal of insecurity and low self-esteem. No different that a woman with an eating disorder, she's never good enough.

If you really care about this guy then you really must confront him with your concerns. Not an easy thing to do but, if you're intent on having a future with him, the honesty has got to start now.

Good luck.

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