Members deianeiralove Posted March 11, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 I am female and 22 years i am new here... and i am seeking for help.... i've been single for 2years now... since i broke up with my first serious boyfriend during our days we had fantastic sexcapades....since we broke up the first time i dated another guy was more than a year around and we had sex but i didn't wet at all... it end up that the guy was mad at me for making him feel horny but his penis lost its ejaculation coz he couldn't enter...This was the first time so i didn't mind at all what happened i just thought that he is not that good to make me wet...A month after, i decided to give it a try again with another guy... but the same thing happened...this time i am so bothered why does this happened to me and im so alarmed how can i enjoy sex if i am being frigid what remedies should i do... i am also masturbating i am worried that masturbating myself made me lost my appetite to have sex with a man...Please i am begging you to help me...i don' know whom will i talk to since i am living in a country where masturbating oneself is a taboo.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted March 11, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Let me ask you this, how much water do you drink? You need to have water INSIDE your body, to make lubrication. It is not just that simple either - arousal is more of a psychological event than a physical one. While your attraction to your partner does play a part, it is surely NOT all that is going on.You can have a hormonal imbalance - which is leading to your dryness. You could not be allowing yourself enough arousal time. There are hundreds of answers and for us to 'diagnose' you here would be almost impossible. My suggestion, go to see your OBGYN. She can test your hormones and give you an exam. She also can recommend some medications and lubrications that may help. In the meantime, know that being 'frigid' as Iha suggests is more about sexual desire than lubrication - and the terms have changed to encompass a wide range of sexual dysfuntions.Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chloegirl Posted March 11, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Can't say it any better than IHA and Mikayla have. Once you rule out any physical cause it probably boils down to where your head is at. Real life is not like porn, most women need to feel "something" towards their partner to really be able to get into it...it's not something you can force, and the more you worry about it the worse it can get. You have to be able to turn off that voice in your head that's probably "spectatoring". Good Luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members froggystyle1977 Posted March 11, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 With my ex boyfriend I always had dryness issues. I thought there was something wrong with me. Turned out I just really didn't like him LOLI agree with the above posts see a doctor to make sure there is nothing physically wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Not only is there the "feelings" aspect, but, women lubricate when they're sexually stimulated (usually). Or if they find something sexy. Of course, there are times that a woman just may not be able to self-lubricate, no matter HOW turned on they are. There may be a "time of the month" that is dryer than other times. And, no, I'm not talking during her period, I'm talking about a hormonal flux. If you're on birth control pills, sometimes there may be too much testosterone in your system, making you dryer than normal. There is NOTHING wrong with using other forms of lubrication (aka in a bottle). If the man says that there's something wrong with YOU since you're not wet, pull out the lube. Explain to him that there is nothing wrong with needing a little help, and even MEN need a little extra help every so often, so why can't women need some extra "help" too?I only had one lover get offended by me pulling out lube, and when he did, I just told him he either needs to put a little more effort into ME, or we use the bottle. LOL I figured, if he got offended by something as small as a bottle of LUBE, then he needed a reality check.If you are that concerned, then go see a doctor, be honest, and listen to their advice. Chances are, you may just be rushing & over-thinking it, and the guy isn't spending enough time on YOU and getting YOU hot, but he's plenty raring to go, hence the big rush. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members deianeiralove Posted March 12, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 Thank you to all of you who gave me advice... It really helped me a lot..Especially here at our country where I don't know whom will i talked to w/ regards to my problem w/o being judged or offended...As a matter of fact i agree with tyger that those guys weren't paying enough attention to make me turn on...I have another question.... how come women from liberated country can enjoy having one night stand from a total stranger (what i mean is a guy whom they recently dated and then after their date they'll end up having satisfying sex without giving or investing enough feelings for that guy...I'm amazed how do they do that... That is what i want to practice to be able to have sex with a guy without any strings attached.... Could somebody be satisfied with having sex without sharing any emotions/feelings???SEXPERTS I really do need your advise.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted March 12, 2008 Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 Well, in asnwer to your most recent question, it is true that some women can have casual sex. I've done it a time or two. However, most women either do, or eventually will, associate sex with love. It's just the way we're "wired" by nature. It's a very hard thing to accomplish. You have to be mentally and emotionally prepared to do this. And, loveless sex, where it can be a release from time to time, won't feel as fulfilling as committed sex, and it won't prevent you from getting hurt. It also doesn't mean that it will be as "good" as sex with a true lover. Most men that know you're looking for a one-nighter also don't take the time to get you hot and bothered (wet), since it is all about satisfaction. If you DO have uncommitted sex, the ONE commitment that you should ALWAYS make, is to protect yourself by using condoms and dental dams (for oral sex). It may not sound as fun, but how fun will it be to have a one-nighter, then, later on, find out you have an STD, that is curable or not? And if the guy refuses, then refuse him back. No glove, no love!And, just to let you know, not all "liberated" women in the US just go off and out there having casual sex. Yes, sex is a lot more open, but, we're just like everyone else. There are some women that just can't handle it emotionally. But it IS a bit more "acceptable" here, but then again, there's a stigma that goes along with it if you do it too much. I know, it's kinda confusing, but, I don't think that most women in the US have an overly "casual" attitude when it comes to their lovers. I think it's more "commericalized" and out there here, with advertising, movies, and TV shows.Just remember, you don't have to sleep with someone to feel like you're sexy. I'm not aware of how easy or hard it is to go to your doctor, in Hong Kong, because I'm not familiar with that area or customs at all. But, if you HAVE gone to the doctor, and gotten a clean bill of health (after being honest and open with him/her), then I will stick to my original answer.As for your masturbating, darlin', you're a healthy, horny 22 yr old woman. You haven't been satisfied with past lovers, so why shouldn't you masturbate? You KNOW what to do to please yourself! Sexually satisfied people masturbate.....hell, I masturbate, and many, many, many of the members on this site are in committed, long-term relationships, and THEY masturbate! The next time you're with a man, SHOW him how you like to be touched, tell him what you want. Trust me, men like that! One of the biggest "ego boosts" for any man, IMO, is getting a woman to orgasm! Talk about success!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members deianeiralove Posted March 13, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted March 13, 2008 To Tyger:You are really amazing thank you for sharing and advising me your thoughts I had fun joining this site because I could trully express my thoughts and at the same time I got great advices from great sexperts.... As for all your concerns I went to an OB-Gyne and have some test done for me to check if i'm healthy the results are all clean the doctor even told me its all in my mind that i'm not able to lubricate....And to all of you who participated in sharing your thoughts on my concern I thank you so much....Words couldn't express how much I feel hearing those revelations from you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie smiling4u2008 Posted March 31, 2008 Newbie Report Share Posted March 31, 2008 Let me ask you this, how much water do you drink? You need to have water INSIDE your body, to make lubrication. It is not just that simple either - arousal is more of a psychological event than a physical one. While your attraction to your partner does play a part, it is surely NOT all that is going on.You can have a hormonal imbalance - which is leading to your dryness. You could not be allowing yourself enough arousal time. There are hundreds of answers and for us to 'diagnose' you here would be almost impossible. My suggestion, go to see your OBGYN. She can test your hormones and give you an exam. She also can recommend some medications and lubrications that may help. In the meantime, know that being 'frigid' as Iha suggests is more about sexual desire than lubrication - and the terms have changed to encompass a wide range of sexual dysfuntions.Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted March 31, 2008 Report Share Posted March 31, 2008 Thank you for the compliment, and you are absolutely welcome!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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