How To Get More

[newgirllooking]

I'm a 30ish fem who has a high sex drive

but my girlfriend (butch) has no sex drive. i've only been with one female. how do I get her sex drive up or do I need to look elsewhere.

p.s. I love her.

[Mikayla1]

OK, so let me clarify...you are a lesbian couple and your gf's sex drive is not as high as yours? Well, this is a very common situation for many couples (and lesbian couples are not exempt) and the key is to understand or analyze what may be causing her low libido. You also have to think about whether it was always this way, how long have you been together, is she on any medications that may be lowering her libido, etc.

The fact that you love her is a good thing - then you are probably willing to weed out what is going on with her sexually. Have you tried talking to her in a non-judgemental manner about it? Have you tried to talk about wants, needs and desires?

I think the key to any relationship is communication - and that is where I would start. I would also read the forums here, there are MANY threads with people having a partner who is just not having much sex drive. Check it out and let us know more specifically what may be going on!

[Tyger]

You said that you're in your 30's, is your lover the same age or older?

Obviously, the fear of pregnancy isn't there, so, that won't be worrying her.

Is she on any sort of medications? Antidepressants can kill your libido, and so can some heart medications, as well as some others.

Has she had any surgeries (like a hysterectomy, which can cause low estrogen), started menopause, things like that?

Also, even though she is "the butch" in the relationship, how is her self-esteem? How she feels about herself can also affect how relaxed she can feel, and how sexually attractive she feels too.

I guess we just need a little bit more information.