Members triedntru Posted April 13, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2008 I need some advice...again. I am a sub ( I'm pretty sure since I don't like to be the dom at all) My problem is that when hubby and I were looking into it, we tried it and he said I can't do it right. Now, I really get excited when I read about it in literotica and here, but I dont' know if I just can't do "it right" or where I'm going wrong. When we have sex, it's good, don't get me wrong . I just want him to do the whole dom thing, but he won't. Is there anyway I can present this without him getting upset or me getting upset for that matter. i'm just now getting more confident with myself sexually and fear that any criticism (not sure if that's the right word) will set me back. Any imput would help, thanks, TNT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted April 13, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 13, 2008 I need some advice...again. I am a sub ( I'm pretty sure since I don't like to be the dom at all) My problem is that when hubby and I were looking into it, we tried it and he said I can't do it right. Now, I really get excited when I read about it in literotica and here, but I dont' know if I just can't do "it right" or where I'm going wrong. When we have sex, it's good, don't get me wrong . I just want him to do the whole dom thing, but he won't. Is there anyway I can present this without him getting upset or me getting upset for that matter. i'm just now getting more confident with myself sexually and fear that any criticism (not sure if that's the right word) will set me back. Any imput would help, thanks, TNTis he saying that he cant do it right? or that you cant do it right? i know how you feel..hubby and i are just starting into this adventure as well, and i am running into the same problem. he does what i am asking for to a point, then doesent finish sorts speak. we talked about it the other night, and he said that he can do it, and he has been harboring these same fantasies for awhile, but its going to take him awhile to get used to this side of me, and the fact that i am willing to let him do whatever he wants. as for telling him what you want, talk to him outside of the bedroom. i tried it, but still not the results i was looking for, so i took on of my books, i marked it, told him to read it thats what i wanted. he read it, and he got so hot reading it, i got my ass handed to me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted April 14, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2008 Many guys have issues with being a DOM - they find it uncomfortable and demeaning. It was really hard for me to get my hubby into DOM/sub play. I had to take baby steps, as it were. We started with blindfolds. I did him, he did to me. Then just the hands being tied. Then we moved on to me dominating him - so he could see how it goes. THEN we moved on to more specific restraints.He is very good at it now. However, in the beginning it was not easy to get him into it. In fact, the scenario that I had in my mind, was not ever as good as what my hubby came up with. My own imagination was my own worse enemy when it came to bondage play in the beginning. However, I sat still, was quiet and did what any good sub does - what she is told. Then, it got better as time went on. I was patient.That is what you should do - baby step him right where you want him - cause everyone knows it is really the sub who is in control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted April 14, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2008 haha the sub is always in control...i like that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted April 14, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2008 It is true. People think that because WE are acting subservient and because WE are tied up and restrained that WE are the ones who are not in control. The truth is, when a woman becomes a sub, a TRUE sub, she gets what SHE wants and is more in control than people think. DOMS love their subs - truly love them. They want to please their subs, and the subs want to please their DOMS. We make our DOMS love us, want to fuck us, seduce them - it is all about US! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members triedntru Posted April 14, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2008 Thank you so much. I'm going to try that. Oh, btw, Mikayla, I love the picture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted April 14, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2008 Thanks, I love her too!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted April 14, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2008 You are 100 percent correct Iha! There are differences between subs/DOMs, S/M, BDSM, switches, playful restraining, etc. I just gave the basic information as this couple is new to playing with domination and submission. There are people, such as myself, who have literally lived 24/7 as a sub to someone. That was completely different than restraint play with my hubby. It is a distinction that not many know about. In the interest of simplicity, I found it easier to go the basic route.Oh, and btw, I am sure somewhere, out there, there is a sub waiting to serve you.......lovingly, seductively, severely and completely.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Neuroticax Posted April 14, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 14, 2008 It is true. People think that because WE are acting subservient and because WE are tied up and restrained that WE are the ones who are not in control. The truth is, when a woman becomes a sub, a TRUE sub, she gets what SHE wants and is more in control than people think. DOMS love their subs - truly love them. They want to please their subs, and the subs want to please their DOMS. We make our DOMS love us, want to fuck us, seduce them - it is all about US!Exactly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members triedntru Posted April 15, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 15, 2008 You are 100 percent correct Iha! There are differences between subs/DOMs, S/M, BDSM, switches, playful restraining, etc. I just gave the basic information as this couple is new to playing with domination and submission. There are people, such as myself, who have literally lived 24/7 as a sub to someone. That was completely different than restraint play with my hubby. It is a distinction that not many know about. In the interest of simplicity, I found it easier to go the basic route.Can you please explain the difference in laymans terms. I'm not sure i ever realized there was much of a difference. thanks, TNT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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