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Middle Wife.


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The "Middle Wife" by an anonymous 2nd grade teacher...>

> I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,

> but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade

> classroom a few years back.


> When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few

> sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually,

> show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model

> airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never,

> ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it

> in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.


> Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing

> kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a

> pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant.

> "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his

> birthday."


> "First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad

> put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine

> months through an umbrella cord."


> She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not

> to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching

> her in amazement.


> "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, Oh,

> Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked

> around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing

> a hysterical duck walk and groaning.) "My Dad called the middle wife.

> She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the

> Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." (Then Erica

> lies down with her back against the wall.)


> "And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in

> case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed,

> like psshhheew!" (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands

> miming water flowing away. It was too much!)


> "Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe,

> breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all

> of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that

> they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of

> toys inside there."


> Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her

> seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's

> show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another "Middle

> Wife" comes along.

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hahahaha thats a good one!! I'll be sharing it also!

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