Members mystofpric Posted May 22, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 Alright so I started working at my job in Feburary, this guy Adam was very nice flirty just generally fun to be around. We started hanging out and talking about dating. We spent Valentines (singles awareness daty) together. To me all seemed right. He told me that he smoked pot but that he was quitting (yes i fell for that) he was generally being perfect. He told me that I wasn't what he normally went for, and that he normally went for teh skinny girls but that I had something special. (gush) We spent almost all our time together outside of work. I was falling. First I started realizing that everytime we were hanging out we were in the car, he had errands to run and I had the means for him to do it. He gave me the line about how sex is so important and it means so much to him and it's a way of expressing how he feels, aww I melted a little. I started to realize though that he never complimented how i looked, he always told me to cover my chest (whihc i love to flaunt). It took a month for him to kiss me and even then I kissed him. When I did finally get his pants off and I gave him a presentation of my oral skills, I got nothing in return. He trashed my mom at every turn (which I generally dislike her so i didn't fault him for that). He freaked out on me that we were spending all our time together, so when they offered me nights at work, I jumped at it. It meant that we only had 2 & 1/2 days to see each other. Then I started loaning him my car, and money. Yup I'm that dumb. Then I caught him in a lie. He told me that he spent all night at his parents and he was screwing around with this heronine-chic whore. The stories going around about me at work are outrageous! I'm a whore, I sleep around I this I that etc etc etc. I looked past all that, argeed to be friends and then I agreed to loan him my spare cell phone, he had a prepay and it was costing him an arm and a leg. I told him go ahead and use it, it's pretty pimped no worries. We got in a fight and i asked for my phone back, when I got it he had broken it. Whatever, I was canceling teh line any way. So last monday he text messages me from the work cell phone going off on me again, we duke it out as usual, only this time he askes me when I'm leaving? Leaving where? I told him that if he thought i was quitting my job to make him happy he's nuts. he texts me back saying "No, it ill make things interesting now if you don't quit. bye" THE WORK PHONE!!! I turn it into my boss and almost two weeks later, he still has teh phone, hasn't been punished and I'm hearing rumors that I'm getting fired and my new nickname from the guys is "the boy named sue." fucking asshole. GAH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kentuckyjoe Posted May 22, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 umm that's sexual harassment. no one is allowed to make you feel uncomfortable at the place you work. I'm sorry this happened to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted May 22, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 I hope you don't take this wrong but he was attracted to your money and car. That just blows me away that he says he normally goes for other types. I hope you don't think we're all walking penises with ears because of that cheesedick! Never let anyone walk on you like that. You deserve much better and it may take a while to find the right one! IDK the labor laws there but I'd be looking if I were you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted May 22, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 I hope you don't take this wrong but he was attracted to your money and car. That just blows me away that he says he normally goes for other types. I hope you don't think we're all walking penises with ears because of that cheesedick! Never let anyone walk on you like that. You deserve much better and it may take a while to find the right one! IDK the labor laws there but I'd be looking if I were you.Yeah i figured out belated what he was after, he was sending messages to the other woman the entire time we were together. I'm not gonna lie, there's a little something to hold on to here ( ) but ya know what? I'd rather not have someone able to count my ribs. That's disgusting. I kept trying to help him because i felt bad, I've talked to his family and they all agreed that he kept getting with these women that treat him like dirt and they were all so glad that he was with me etc etc etc. Man, sometimes being a nice person doesn't help.According the the lawyer i spoke to i have to give them time to handle the situtation, which I think two weeks if plenty of time. It's in black and white. Yeah I saved the text message. I have the paper work, alli have to do is get it notorized. Monday. Then it's in the mail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted May 22, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 Hi SuzyP. Please remember that you are not the first girl (or guy) to fall for this type of shit. Sometimes in this disconnected world we are so desperate to find human connection that we will give or sacrifice anything to get it. I have had many friends who have done this. Loaned the money, the car, done outrageous things to be ....loved....or to have a chance at it. I am gonna tell you what I always tell them: YOU ARE WORTH MORE! No matter what you may think inside, what you have heard or what people may tell you - you are worth an even relationship. There is nothing wrong with being giving, caring or kind - but there is someting innately wrong about being used! Do not let it happen. Be worthy on your own merrits. do not settle for less, do not be less. Be happy in yourself and with yourself and look toward relationships as an addition to your already happy life. When you get with a man, jolt at any signs that he is a user or abuser. Hiding you away in his car? Ugggh. Using your for money...Uggh. I just watched this movie called "P.S. I love You" and Lisa Kudrow is a single gal in it. She would walk up to these guys and say, "are you single?" if they said yes, she would say, "are you gay?" if they said no, she would say, "do you have a job?" if they said yes, "do you have a car?" if they said yes again she would introduce herself. It is simple logic - we need and deserve a man who can fend for himself and doesn't need us to baby him. We want to be his partner not his mommy or his bookie.You have learned a lesson here about how big an asshole a man can be (and yes, there are female equivalents for sure) so now just know that you are worth more and proceed knowing that. Do not worry about your work people, if they do not know the real you, then screw them. Trust me, the worst thing you can do to him is ignore them!Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cmwise1 Posted May 22, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 I am so sorry you had to go through this. I went through something similar about 5 years ago after my divorce. I was so needy that I put up with a lot of things that I would never let happen had i not been so vulnerable. Live and learn from this, honey, and put him behind you. Rise above the ignorant people at work and just do your thing. And don't let him take you down to his level. File that paperwork!! Sexual Harassment!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted May 22, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 I'm sorry he did this to you, but in the future, don't let loneliness set your standards. You're worth so much more than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted May 22, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 I'm sorry he did this to you, but in the future, don't let loneliness set your standards. You're worth so much more than that.That is exactly what i did, I kept giving this guy chances when i sane person would have slapped him and walked away. If only I had listened t my friends, they all told me run for the hills, with the exception of one who was like run for the hills, but I know it's hard when you actually in the thick of it. I'm not going to make excuses for why I did, I wanted to not be alone and he seemed willing enough. Hell you would have thought I'd get the idea hwen even his friends and family were telling me to make a run for it. Nope, I stuck by him and I"m getting the shaft for it. he once told me after an arguement that he knew I'd stop caring, and I made it my goal in life not to, and now I see why people do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted May 22, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 I have to be honest, ignoring the rumors is so tough. literally everyday it's something new, at first i thought it was just cause i'm teh first woman to work in the plant, then i thought it was cause i was seeing that guy, so i stopped seeing him and I moved to nights and it's only getting worse. I make it a point to become "one of teh guys" because it's easier to be one of them than the only girl, and all that seems to have done is given them fuel for the fire "the boy named sue." I just so tired of the drama! I live ina small town (population 350 and that's actually including another town) and the new guy is from here too, I just don't want any of this to drag him down because that's not fair. the guy i used to see from work lives right across teh street from the one movie theatre in town and unless I borrow my mom's car he's going to know I;m there and watch for me. There's no reason I should have to watch my back any time i leave the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanilla_bean Posted May 22, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 Give it time sweetie...it'll get better. Yeah, you're in the thick of it right now. Sorry this happened to you. Most of us have let people take advantage of us at some point so don't be too hard on yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nosleepnmesa Posted May 22, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 Sorry to hear, but life is full of experiances just chalk this up as a hard lessoned learned. I am soo sorry!! You did though let this go on to long. Please don't take this the wrong way, I noticed that you are a bit younger to, I was young once I think. LOL Anyway there are some great men out there you just have to be alot more "picky" Don't allow them to walk over you, I think that when he said, "you are not my normal type of girl." I personally would have rethinked this dating thing or asked him what he ment. Also there are females that can be just as big of "assholes" per say as men can be. I have noticed though that women can be a little more vicious in some ways too. Don't give up and keep your chin high, for you did nothing wrong. The only thing you are guilty of is being his carpet to walk on.As far as the work situation that is very much sexual harassment and if it continues I think I would file it. Mikayla brought up a very good point to. I would do everything in my power to ignore him, sounds like he likes to cause trouble and is very good at. If your co-workers can't see the real you then screw them.I wish you the best!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted May 23, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted May 23, 2008 I think that when he said, "you are not my normal type of girl." I personally would have rethinked this dating thing or asked him what he ment. Aw thanks guys! His now former (as of yesterday apperently, things you miss when you take a sick day) road partner, approached em today and he said that he wanted me to know that he backed me 100% and that I (from what he knows) deserves sooo much better and it's best that I'm out now. There were other thinsg he said but that was the gist of it. He actually did explain, he very honestly said that I wasn't skinny like his normal girlfriends. I told him that was super mean I was hurt, instant nice guy. Definitely the more I look at my first, this last and the current relationships the more i see a common thread.Are nuns allowed to have BOBs? Cause i think that's the path I'm headed for.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nosleepnmesa Posted May 23, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 23, 2008 A nun with a vibe sure why not!!! You know alot of professional people say, counselors etc.... That if you look back at some of your previous relationships you will find something in common with them. For exsample; my first boyfriend to my first husband the similair trait in them were they were all babies of the family. I then tried to break that "cycle". My husband this time wasn't the baby of the family but the older sibling. Well I thought that I had broke the "cycle" but when looking at other traits of the past all of them were also the only male sibling of the family, or a "mommy's boy" I guess what I am trying to say before you "give up" is take a long look of any other relationships you have had, and see if you can find what is common in them. Then try to break that "cycle" This last one was needy, and using you for the things you had and could help him with. Anyway, I wish you the best, don't give up hope. You are young and the world is full of good men, just be more picky and find one that is different from what you are use to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted May 23, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 23, 2008 PUT A BIG OLD SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND LET HIM WONDER WHAT YOU ARE UP TO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted May 23, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted May 23, 2008 PUT A BIG OLD SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND LET HIM WONDER WHAT YOU ARE UP TO!I had to work today (ewww working duri8ng day light hours, boo hiss) and I spent the entir eday laughing and joking with his now former road partner. Take that biotch. Oh and the paper work is in the mail. I'm not backing down on this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted May 23, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 23, 2008 Give this girl a little nudge and she's off and running! ATTA GIRL!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted May 23, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted May 23, 2008 Give this girl a little nudge and she's off and running! ATTA GIRL!!!!Hey I may be slow on the pick up sometimes (i have my man-blinders on way too much) but once i get it I got it for good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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