Members ladylove Posted May 27, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 OK.....I have 3 children that aren't children anymore; 22, 19, 16. I thought by now I would be able to have more time to myself, but ever since the two older ones came home from school, it's been crazy busy here. Don't get me wrong I love them and enjoy talking and being with them. But ever since the two older ones came home, my husband and I have little private time together, and I don't have any down time at all. I never realized how quiet my house was before, of how free my schedule was. I'm glad they're home but GEEZ! Anybody else feeling the stress?When they were little I always looked forward to our freedom during the summer, NOW I look forward to my freedom during the school year! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted May 27, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 Slow down girl! They are old enough that they can do some things for themselves and you should not have to stress so much. I know this won't change any privacy issues but maybe help you to calm down a bit at least. Nothing wrong with doting on loved ones except that it seems to be very stressful for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted May 27, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 Slow down girl! They are old enough that they can do some things for themselves and you should not have to stress so much. I know this won't change any privacy issues but maybe help you to calm down a bit at least. Nothing wrong with doting on loved ones except that it seems to be very stressful for you!Yes your right, I think a big part of the stress is tiredness. I still can't seem to sleep when they go out no matter how old they are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted May 27, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 You sound like a great mom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted May 27, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 If they were allowed a say in this I'm almost sure they would have a view similar to my own! They don't want you stressed because of them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted May 27, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 Your right they are wonderful kids but I won't tell them, because then they'll feel bad, and it's not there problem, it's mine. They're just doing what they're suppose to be doing. I grew up in a very controlled environment and I don't want that for them. I want them to have the freedom to be who they are (with in reason) and I want them to always want to come home, no matter what. I just miss my own time and time with my husband. I have one small trip planned in June, it may be worth it to plan another quick R&R weekend. Have to talk to Hubby, he's always game as long as work doesn't get in the way. Thanks for listening to me Bitch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted May 27, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 You are not bitching you are relieving some of that stress! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted May 27, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 vent away sweetie. they are at least doing there own laundry right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted May 28, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 vent away sweetie. they are at least doing there own laundry right? Ummm, not really. But they help when I ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chloegirl Posted May 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 Ladylove I'm with you all the way. I love my girls dearly (19 & 16) they are very good kids, but I am so looking forward to them being grown and out. It will be so nice to have my whole house stay neat and clean and most of all to have my privacy! I swear there are teenagers hanging around here constantly and they all call me Mom and want to talk my ear off...I can only stand it for so long before I have to shoo them off....I dread summer vacation....if the youngest doesn't get a day job there goes my nice, private lunch time "sessions" and man do I need that relief during the busy season at work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted May 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 Ummm, not really. But they help when I ask. oh no!! they are old enough to do there own laundry..my son is 11, and i usually wash his cloths, but he folds them and puts them on his bed. and he does know how to do the laundry. i taught him a few months ago. if im in the middle of something and i remember theres a load in the washer that needs to be done, i will ask him to go turn it on for me. he puts the soap in and everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cmwise1 Posted May 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 oh no!! they are old enough to do there own laundry..my son is 11, and i usually wash his cloths, but he folds them and puts them on his bed. and he does know how to do the laundry. i taught him a few months ago. if im in the middle of something and i remember theres a load in the washer that needs to be done, i will ask him to go turn it on for me. he puts the soap in and everything. I taught my girls when the oldest was 12..if they were going to change their outfits 3X/day, they were going to wash the clothes!!! Ladylove, my kids are 22 and 19, too. When they came home for Christmas, I felt the same stress as you do..they were always underfoot and lying around..it made me crazy, and I'm sure I made them crazy, after their 'independent' college days. Make them get jobs. It will keep them busy, earn them some cash for their own stuff, give you some privacy and alone time. I don't think it's too much to ask. They are adults and need to take some responsibility for themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted May 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 oh no!! they are old enough to do there own laundry..my son is 11, and i usually wash his cloths, but he folds them and puts them on his bed. and he does know how to do the laundry. i taught him a few months ago. if im in the middle of something and i remember theres a load in the washer that needs to be done, i will ask him to go turn it on for me. he puts the soap in and everything. I was somewhere around the same age when we bagan taking care of that stuff also. Mom had to work to pay the bills and the babysitter's that she hired at times were worthless at best. As soon as I was old enough to legally do it I took that over also! "Latchkey Kids"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted May 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 my mother worked as well... i hit high school, and it was you want clean cloths?? theres the washer/dryer. yet she waited on my brother hand and foot. i had to show my hubby how to do laundry because my mother in law waited on hubby and brother in law hand over foot, she still waits on brother in law its really quite pathetic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted May 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 Mom had the good luck of having 3 ornery boys! (Lucky her)! She took the same approach that your mother did. Didn't show us anything. And I only recall 1 or 2 loads that were FUBAR'ed! You know the old pink underwear and socks thing! She wasn't about to wait on us hand and foot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted May 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 Mom had the good luck of having 3 ornery boys! (Lucky her)! She took the same approach that your mother did. Didn't show us anything. And I only recall 1 or 2 loads that were FUBAR'ed! You know the old pink underwear and socks thing! She wasn't about to wait on us hand and foot!see, you learned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted May 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 Doesn't take long at all when you wear pink underwear and socks! Not a real understandable offense at that age! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted May 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 28, 2008 Doesn't take long at all when you wear pink underwear and socks! Not a real understandable offense at that age! haha no it is not, specially for boys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted May 30, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted May 30, 2008 I taught my girls when the oldest was 12..if they were going to change their outfits 3X/day, they were going to wash the clothes!!! Ladylove, my kids are 22 and 19, too. When they came home for Christmas, I felt the same stress as you do..they were always underfoot and lying around..it made me crazy, and I'm sure I made them crazy, after their 'independent' college days. Make them get jobs. It will keep them busy, earn them some cash for their own stuff, give you some privacy and alone time. I don't think it's too much to ask. They are adults and need to take some responsibility for themselves.Ok, so here's the thing. 2 of 3 do have very part time to earn there social money. I have help in my home, but not the laundry. So even though there is still 101 more thing to do when there home,and its very hectic, I feel guilty having them do it, pretty much because I don't really have a paying job any more, by choice. I know it sounds silly, but aren't they my job, laundry and all? God I sound so repressed, I'm really not! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted May 30, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 30, 2008 Your job is to be as happy as you can be! You may have decided these were things that you should do but that is not set in stone! My very first job was a summer one working for Grandpa. 5am breakfast then drive to the store to make sure Grandma had all she needed then off to the farm for fencing, plowing, etc..... until lunch. We would eat at the store every day then drive to Hobart everyday to deliver the freight. Sunday was the only break in routine but only because of church. After 6pm I was allowed to do whatever. Swimming, baseball, friends. This was to enhance the savings account that I started that summer and I was paid $7 a week and that check was to be deposited in the bank. BTW, The point being that I was still expected to pick up behind myself, make my bed, toss my laundry down the chute, etc...... My grandparents are still 2 of the busiest people I've ever met. She has always had her own business and even owned the drug store and the flower shop concurrently for almost a decade before she sold the store to the larger money maker. He has kept all sorts of farming ventures going at once, delivers freight every day but Sunday, and now picks up extra helping at the funeral home. Noone has set duties and everyone does their share to help whether they are there for Sunday dinner or summer vacation. Don't be afraid to let them know you would like to see them doing more. One person cannot keep up with everything! The more you stress the more you may start to feel overwhelmed by the enormity of it all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted May 31, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted May 31, 2008 Your job is to be as happy as you can be! You may have decided these were things that you should do but that is not set in stone! My very first job was a summer one working for Grandpa. 5am breakfast then drive to the store to make sure Grandma had all she needed then off to the farm for fencing, plowing, etc..... until lunch. We would eat at the store every day then drive to Hobart everyday to deliver the freight. Sunday was the only break in routine but only because of church. After 6pm I was allowed to do whatever. Swimming, baseball, friends. This was to enhance the savings account that I started that summer and I was paid $7 a week and that check was to be deposited in the bank. BTW, The point being that I was still expected to pick up behind myself, make my bed, toss my laundry down the chute, etc...... My grandparents are still 2 of the busiest people I've ever met. She has always had her own business and even owned the drug store and the flower shop concurrently for almost a decade before she sold the store to the larger money maker. He has kept all sorts of farming ventures going at once, delivers freight every day but Sunday, and now picks up extra helping at the funeral home. Noone has set duties and everyone does their share to help whether they are there for Sunday dinner or summer vacation. Don't be afraid to let them know you would like to see them doing more. One person cannot keep up with everything! The more you stress the more you may start to feel overwhelmed by the enormity of it all!Thanks Pappy, Your right, overwhelmed is exactly right. Your grandparents sound amazing, and the schedule they keep sounds incredible, as well as your own. It goes to show, hard work is good for the soul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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