Giving My So Anal Sex? Ewwww Gross!

[Tyger]

So, your SO wants you to have anal sex with them, but they want YOU to do the inserting!

"WHAT?? Are you kidding me? NO WAY!! Does "EXIT ONLY mean anything to you???" for some people, especially women who think of DIRTY & feces when thinking of this, this is a common reaction. How does one get by on this? After all, the anus IS made for disposing of one thing: waste. But, also, the rectal area has some of the most concentrated and sensitive nerves in the body, and, when done correctly, this can be an extremely great & yes, erotic, pleasure center too.

I will admit, I don't like messes. I deal with them on a daily basis. Hey, I have a child, dogs, cats, horses, and a rabbit. I know the meaning of Poo! But, when engaging in anal sex with my hubby, I don't feel this way. Why? Let me break it down for you:

What my hubby did, since he's a very clean person anyway (the man spends more time in the shower than *I* do when I do a Total Shave!!), was he took a long shower, making sure to soap and wash up as much of his anus as possible. He uses the removable shower head to really get up in there. He/she could also soak in the tub, and really pay extra attention to cleaning the rectum.

Be sure that your lover's had a recent bowel movement, this makes sure that there's less in the anal cavity.

If your lover is willing to do this, they can do a rectal douching too (enima). These can be purchased at any pharmacy. We've never used them, but I think that my hubby would if I asked him to do so.

Be realistic. There probably will be some sort of residue. If this bothers you (it bothers me), have some wet wipes or a warm washcloth handy to wipe yourself off with. You can also play in the shower. Remember, NEVER put a toy or finger into a vagina AFTER it's been in the anus until it's been thoroughly washed with warm, soapy water. Anal sex is rarely so direct (at least in my house) as it is in porn. There are towels laying about for clean up. In porn, you don't see a lot of the, um, behind the scenes aftermath.

If this isn't enough, you can always put a condom or use rubber gloves over your finger for inserting fingers up inside. Use condoms on toys too. This way, clean up is a breeze! If you are using condoms, be sure NOT to use silicone lubricants, water-based ones only. If you're sure you've got latex condoms, then silicone lubes are OK. If you're not sure, best to stick with the water-based lubes.

That brings me to an extremely important part of anal play: LUBES!!! If you have silicone toys and/or condoms, please only use water-based lubes. Now, silicone lubes are more slick, and may provide easier anal fun. But silicone lubes break down silicone toys and condoms, which can really turn the toys to mush, which would not only feel gross, but it's messy too. There are specially designed anal lubes out there, many of which are water based, such as Astroglide's Anal Shooters. Lubes make the experience much more easier, comfortable, and can be helpful in keeping stuff OFF of the toy/fingers too.

I'm a woman, and I can be (pardon the pun) anal when it comes to cleaning my sex toys. After all, hubby, for now, only has a masturbator sleeve. Other than that, the toys are mine, and I use most of them, especially the ones he's used too. So, unless he uses it in the shower (even then I usually go and clean it) I like to do the cleaning afterward.

Go slow, be patient, and most of all, be open-minded. Let me repeat it: you don't HAVE to have anal sex to have a fulfilling sex life. Many people don't like it, and if you've tried it a few times, and just don't like it, well, you just don't like it. But, you have to try something to say if you like it or not (do you hear your mother lecturing you about eatting new foods here?).

Good luck and best wishes!

[sun_flower969]

This is great, very informative Except I do believe it is safe to use silicone lube on latex condoms, the non latex ones are the ones that may not be compatible.

I always read about oil or petroleum based lubes that were not safe with condoms but I think silicone is just not compatible with silicone. I could be wrong. It has happened before

[Tyger]

You're welcome iha.

You are correct, Sun, it is safe to use silicone lubes with LATEX condoms. It's the NON-LATEX ones that are not compatible with silicone lubes. Unless you are paying special attention to your condoms (which you SHOULD do anyway), or if you're not really sure, then I would recommend using water-based lubes if you aren't sure. Better to be safe then icky! LOL Thanks for pointing that out, and I did edit the first post to reflect that.

Though silicone lubes are slicker, longer, I will stress that we have NEVER had a problem using the Astroglide Shooters, and when I say slick, I mean it's sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick! LOL

[cmwise1]

I had the experience of being a "giver" recently and had just a glimmer of an idea how to start...fortunately i remembered LUBE and that made it easier...a lot easier. It is important, also, that you be in constant communication with your partner so that you can slow down if it hurts, or speed up or rotate the plug/vibe...whatever is necessary. I was afraid I would hurt my partner when he wanted me to be a bit more aggressive. It can be a scary position if you are a first timer.

Thanks, Tyger, for the information. I wish I knew it before my experience as I was pretty intimidated.

[Brennuvarg]

Hi there and thanks for the info, tho I must admit before today I had never even heard of non-latex condoms (except the sheep-ones for allergic persons), and all I knew were that to never mix condoms with oil-based lubricants. Maybe it's because I am European

Anyways, we're about to try out some anal attention for her (been doing it to me some times now, and I've done it myself for years), and have started to talk about how she'd like to start it.

My biggest concern is that she has been talking about using my member for it, and this might be a bit problematic, since once I get horny, I tend to get very hard, and it's almost glued to my stomach. This makes for some great vaginal stimulation for sure, but regarding anal it has me wondering about if there were any positions you could recommend that would lessen the impact of this?

[Tyger]

I would recommend starting off small, with toys, and working her comfort and relaxation levels up. The body's natural response to an intrusion "up there" is to clench and push. This can cause pain.

If she really wants your cock up inside of her, use plenty of lube (you can never have too much), and either let her back up onto you in doggie style, or even reverse cowgirl, where she is on top of you, but with her butt facing your face. Let her be in total control, allow her to put you in her as slow as she wants, do NOT thrust. That way, she knows she's in control, and she will probably be able to relax her rectum a lot easier.

Good luck!

[woodchuck]

I would recommend starting off small, with toys, and working her comfort and relaxation levels up. The body's natural response to an intrusion "up there" is to clench and push. This can cause pain.

If she really wants your cock up inside of her, use plenty of lube (you can never have too much), and either let her back up onto you in doggie style, or even reverse cowgirl, where she is on top of you, but with her butt facing your face. Let her be in total control, allow her to put you in her as slow as she wants, do NOT thrust. That way, she knows she's in control, and she will probably be able to relax her rectum a lot easier.

Good luck!

Wife and I recently started with anal play. married for years, kicking ourselves for not trying earlier! Another position to try is in misionary. Place a few pillows under her backside so it makes insertion a little more "on track". That way, you are facing each other and she feels that she is in more of a position to communicate with you. This is how we started. Just humble advice

[Brennuvarg]

Thanks for the input, the idea of a position where she can control the whole thing is deffo a good idea, thanks

And yeah am a big fan of lubes myself, I know from my own body how much difference it makes. And I certainly plan on starting slow with something small, I have a nice handful of different anal toys already, most of them she has already tried on me, and I think some of her interest was sparked by seing how much I enjoy it myself. So I also understand the importance of warming up, it's sad realyl how porn apparently have made loads think that you just jump directly into anal, which in most cases would be far from enjoyable.

Thanks again for the input, the missionary is also a nice idea, since we both like some eye contact and intimacy