Anal "virgin"

[bridgy]

Hi everyone,

I have been dating my guy for almost three years. He once asked me (after dating a few months) if he could "do me in my ass" during sex. I laughed and said, "no, I think it would hurt!" he said, "I think you're right" and didn't mention it again. I had been married before, and when my husband and I tried, it was excruciating, right away! So we never tried again (I was only 19 at the time) - also I went to the Dr. once and he had to put his finger in my anus and it hurt soo bad! So, I just thought it wasn't for me.

However, I do enjoy having my guy "rim" me and I love doing it to him. (he enjoys it as well) A few years ago, I even had a toy with a small thing that went into my anus at the same time as the dildo. I loved that toy, but after a couple months threw it out, worried my kids might find it!!

I've been thinking about it more and more lately, I'm 38 now and enjoy sex more than ever in my life! My guy is wonderful at going down on me and with that and penetration, I always orgasm several times during sex.

He is very large, so large that at first I even had trouble fitting him into my mouth for bj's. I'm used to the size now, but that is another reason I feel as though it may never work..

The last time we had sex, I was very aroused and very slippery all over. In doggie style, he did try to penetrate my anus a couple times and he had done this once before (just a couple weeks before) when I was very aroused and we were lying side by side. It seemed an impossible barrier.

I know he enjoys porn on his own, and I think it makes it look so easy in those films, so he may just be trying what he sees in the movies.

I do so want to try it, I would love to please him in this way and I'm pretty sure he's had lovers that it came easy to. (not anal "virgins" like me!) I also think I would enjoy it as the thought is very arousing to me.

So, my question is, do you think it's a bad idea to try, since he has such a fat girth and long penis? (wonderful in lovemaking, but scary to think of in anal!!) Not to sound silly, but I'm also scared of getting poop on him - yikes!!!! It seems such a small, tight and tiny opening - at the same time that would feel wonderful to him..

Thank you for taking the time to read! Any advice would be appreciated!

~luvmyguy

[mailahn97]

I have just started doing this a few months ago so I am no expert at it. In the beginning I had a lot of trouble. I would say start small and work your way up. Maybe a finger or two. Then go to a toy or plug to work your way up and stretch you out. Also do not forget LOTS of lube. I enjoy it very much. I do have to be very aroused for it to work, but still at times have trouble. Other keys are to be very relaxed. I have also found from reading a post when I was researching this when I was looking to try that as he is entering you push down as if you are going to go to the bathroom this will make it easier. I do that and make sure I am taking relaxing breaths and then I enjoy it.

I was someone about 6 months ago when my SO had brought it up that I said absolutely not....now he laughs because I ask for it. It can take time to work up to. Just remember relax and lube are a big key to it as well.

[elise]

Read Mikayla's great article on this, and look up past posts on the subject!

Quite right. We've covered this many times.

But I'd like to address the size issue you mentioned. I am blessed to have man with a large penis--not just long but really thick--and I love taking every last millimeter of him up my ass. I had had anal sex with a previous boyfriend who was quite small, and it was no big deal for me. Not much discomfort, but no real pleasure, either. The first time I had sex with my now-hb, the thought that occurred to me was that there was no way that big piece of man-meat would ever fit in my ass. We tried early on, it hurt like hell, and we didn't even attempt it until years later.

The key thing is to train your anus gradually. A finger in your ass while your bf licks you to orgasm is a great way to start. Work up to two fingers, then maybe a butt plug or a vibrator. In our experience, we knew I was ready for his cock when I had an orgasm from cunnilingus with three of his fingers in my ass.

Size isn't everything, but it does matter, and if like me you've learned to love your man's big cock during vaginal sex, when you get to the point of having anal sex you'll love his size there, too.