Members tootimidtoo Posted June 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 28, 2008 I guess I should introduce myself since I plan to become a frequent member.I have been married to my high school sweetheart for nearly 12 years. We are pretty routine in our love making (sorry I am not yet comfortable using "fucking" yet, but maybe one day). We are pretty quiet with each other when it comes to our sex life. We don't talk about self masturbation (and I am pretty sure DH as no idea I even do). He just barely admitted to me that he does on a rare occasion. My best friend introduced me to a vibe about 5 years into our marriage. I felt "toys" were taboo, after all, if you are in a loving relationship there is no need for "outside" help (this includes masturbation). I was happy to find this new excitement, but a little self conscious. I rarely asked DH to use it on me (and God forbid never "in" me) as I thought he would feel inadequate, and at the time I never used it alone. Once we bought some cheap porn, it was in bad taste and DH and I both were self conscious watching it together. That is about the extent of our sexual habits.I have always felt like I am holding back. We are very quiet during sex besides a few stifled moans and groans. We never talk dirty to each other, I would love to, but feel self conscious doing so, and worry he will think it is strange. The closest I have come are a few text messages telling him I want him, to which he laughs awkwardly. When we were first together he asked to explore anal and I told him maybe later. When later came I told him no. Now I would like to try (both he and I) but I think he would be shocked and not want to after all these years. I think he may be scared if I told him the things that really go through my head. I am hoping to over come some of my fears and insecurities and that is why I am here. I just worry after all these years it may not be possible. So in a nutshell that is me and what I am hoping to gain from this site. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted June 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 28, 2008 WELCOME!! We have all been there! Enjoy the forum! Any questions just ask! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Valntyn Posted June 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 28, 2008 Welcome to TooTimid. Great introduction!First off, if you don't want to use the word "fucking," don't! I don't use it in terms of the act between my husband and I. I use "making love" or "having sex" -- unless it's just wild and animal-like... then the term "fucking" CAN be appropriate without being a BAD word. Use what ever is comfortable for you (just realize you'll read many different terms on this site, none of which are MEANT to be offensive to anyone, but MAY be so).It sounds as if all the elements are there for an open-communication-relationship... but the both of you need to get over the "If I say this, I'll get laughed at." hump. Don't tell him you WANT to talk dirty to him... just do it. He might be shocked at first... he might be incredibly turned on... he might not like it. But you'll never know unless you just suck it up and do it. You didn't specify to whom the anal would be, but next time you're giving him oral, gently stick a finger in his backside (you can slip a condom over your finger without him even knowing, I'll bet, if you don't want the yuck factor). If it's on YOU, guide his hand back there... whisper in his ear that you want him to finger your ass...My point is, it doesn't HAVE to be "pretty routine." The two of you make it however you want it. But you have to be open to communicate those wants and desires. It's never too late, ttt, unless you give up altogether.Good luck, welcome, and I hope you're able to get where you both want to be. P.S. (Sun, I think those are my favorite in-signature shoes yet!! MEOW!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members froggystyle1977 Posted June 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 28, 2008 Welcome to TOO TIMID!!!I think most of us here have been right where you are, and some of us still have someof the same issues you do, Being here has helped alot of mine and I am hoping for more enjoy reading and feel free to ask any questions!! Read the articles too they are wonderful!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ManofHerdreams Posted June 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 28, 2008 First off welcome to Too Timid lots of good people and good information here.Secondly from a mans point of view it would probably turn your husband on more than you can believe if you just say whats on your mind and what you want sexually. It certainly is to me when my wife does it.It's never too late to try new things and expand your horizons. Take it from someone who has been in your shoes, be open with each other and never be scared of being laughed at or rejected by your SO. nothing ventured nothing gained so to speak.We were both in our 40's before we got out of the routine and started trying things that we had always thought about but never tried. Don't waste years in a rut when you can easily improve your sex life more than you dream. Discuss these thing outside of the bedroom when you are at ease doing so.We look forward to your company and feel free to ask anything you want and read all that you can.Man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted June 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 28, 2008 I can't add much more than the others said, but try not to be afraid. I know what it's like to get laughed at, and it can crush your esteem and inhibit you. Just try talking outside the bedroom. And welcome to the forums. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ToyQueen Posted June 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 28, 2008 Welcome to TooTimid! You have received some great advice, so I'm just going to welcome you here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cmwise1 Posted June 29, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 29, 2008 Welcome to TooTimid! You have received some great advice, so I'm just going to welcome you here.Welcome to TT. I have learned a tremendous amount here and it has really opened my eyes to my own sexuality. Perhaps if you go there hubby will come along after. And don't worry about use of words. Just use what you are comfortable with. No one here will judge you. We all have our preferences and they can change over time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nosleepnmesa Posted June 29, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 29, 2008 Welcome to TT!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted July 1, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 1, 2008 Welcome to the forum T3! I think I saw your movie! LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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