Bondage 101

[miccollins]

Since this is a new forum selection here on TooTimid - I thought I would begin an introductory post. For many people the idea of "Bondage play" brings to mind a lot of leather, chains, whips and PAIN! I am here to tell you folks - it does not have to be any of those things at all! Bondage play is what you make of it - it can be as simple as a blindfold - or as extreme as full body restraints, a spreader bar, flogger and a fucking machine - it is all about YOUR PLEASURE and YOUR COMFORT ZONE!

I think that most people are comfortable somewhere in the middle of those two extremes - so that is where I will start the discussion.

If anyone is wondering where my "expertise" in this area comes from - I personally enjoy a bit of bondage in my own lovemaking - nothing too extreme. I also had the unique experience to visit and work for a short time in a DOM/sub club many years ago before I was married where people paid to be dominated. Contrary to what some of you may be thinking - there was NO SEX involved in this kind of activity - but in bondage play with your lover - you take that to a new level.

Now to begin:

When we take away one of our senses - let us say our sense of sight - with a blindfold - all the activity that is going on around us takes on a whole other level. Our ears become more acute to the things in the room - the sound of a drawer opening, our lover moving across the bed, ice tinkling in a glass. We are wondering with titilating anxiety what is going to happen. Where is he or she going to touch us, with what part of the body - will their be a toy involved? We begin to become more aroused because of the curiosity of the unknown.

If you then take another sense away - let's say the sense of movement or touch - with some light restraints or some furry handcuffs - then we have doubly heightened the experience again. Now not only are we wondering where our lover is going to touch us, but we are cognitively aware that we will be unable to stop what is done to us. It is an uncomfortable but extremely pleasureable predicament to be in.

For most people, being lightly bound with soft restraints to a chair or to the bed - even if it is just the hands or the feet - not both- can really bring a whole other level of excitement to play. Having your legs spread wide on the bed for your lover to tantalize and tease you while you are helpless to close them is a sensation I think all people should try at least once! Many people who have high stress jobs find it relaxing and literally a "load off" to be consumed by another person in this manner.

If you prefer not to be bound you may just enjoy some of the toys involved with bondage play - whips and floggers or paddles for example. You may not realize just how many men and women like a little spanking! I personally LOVE a good spanking with either a hand or a little whip - I can cum just from a spanking.

There are a variety of soft restraints that use velco so that you can put your lover's hands behind their back and they can still break free if they get uneasy.

There is a major rule when bondage playing : TRUST. You have to trust your partner, be comfortable, always have a "safe word" and always be ready and willing to say it if you are uncomfortable.

There is a saying in most bondage communities:

Remember do no harm on the outside,

Remember do no harm on the inside.

This is essential in the kind of play we are talking about here. There should not be any harm. We are talking about a person who you care for - bringing pleasure to them is the goal, not harming them. Although every person's level of pain is different - and where that level crosses the line is a personal choice -in bondage play that level can get smeared - it can be hard to distinguish.

So, now with that little introduction, I want to do 2 things.

First, I want to ask if anyone has any questions about Bondage play - how to do it, what to do, what to buy, etc.

Second, I want to know if anyone has any experiences with Bondage play that they would like to share here. It is a new part of the forum, so I want to see if there is interest here or not.

Thanks guys - I look forward to your posts!

Mikayla

Hi Mikayla, I am new to this site and look forward to learning and sharing. I was lucky enough to have a very open lover a while back and she opened up my world to spanking, anal beads one me and anal sex with her. I have not had a great experience since. It sure seems to difficult to find open minded and willing partners. I'm sure trust has a lot to do with it. There seems to be a fine line between pain and pleasure and I hope to be able to define it more and more as I get more experience.

[miccollins]

As a man I enjoy a reversal of roles at times and let her have the upper hand so to speak. She ties me up, puts on a blindfold and then has her way with me. The last time she made me lay on my stomach, gently parted my ass cheeks and lubed me up by using her fingers inside and out, finally inserting some anal beads and telling me to raise my ass in the air. I waited for what seemed like forever and then heard the sound of air rushing just before the first spank. It felt exciting as well as a little sacry as the blood rushed to my cheeks. She whispered that it turned her on to see me flinch and the red marks it left. She gave me about 10 strokes and un-tied me, turned me over and took her time with her mouth and hand almost getting me to the point of orgasm and stopping until I begged for her to let me cum. Finally she did and at the same time pulled the beads from my anus, I had the best orgasm I have ever had, which seemed to last forever and when she took my blind fold off I had shot my load so hard a bit of it was clinging to her chin. It was a very sexy look. She said next time it was my turn to be in control, any good advice would be welcome. Also I am a bit of a panty freek, which comes from my early experience, but that is for another day and forum.