First Time

[SSU76]

My wife and I are getting our "second wind", and I would like to try anal sex. We have never done this, and I don't know how to initiate it without upsetting her or have her think I'm some kind of pervert. I do think she will love it once we get past the initial "shock". Any ideas on how to get her interested in this?

[sexynshyrissa]

Just sit down and talk about it, Honestly men are sooo scared about asking a woman to have anal. When many of us have wanted to but arent gonna ask for it... I personally had to ask my man for it because he was too chickenshit to ask his own damn self....

[Mikayla1]

My wife and I are getting our "second wind", and I would like to try anal sex. We have never done this, and I don't know how to initiate it without upsetting her or have her think I'm some kind of pervert. I do think she will love it once we get past the initial "shock". Any ideas on how to get her interested in this?

SEXYNSHYRISSA is exactly right - just have a conversation with her! Many women - and even men - nowadays are into anal sex - in fact, in the last 5 years anal sex has increased DRAMATICALLY among heterosexual couples.

I think for me - and probably many women - just communicating your desire to do this with the information that it will be pleasurable for me - should be enough to get her to consider it. Tell her you will be patient, that you will try a finger first, perhaps a toy. Show her through your actions that it is fun and feels good - then she will want to go further on her own. If you start with "I want to fuck you up your ass" - she may not be as excited about that. Instead, tell her you want to bring her to a new level of excitement and pleasure - you want to stimulate her anus - you want to initiate ass play. Tell her you will go slow, let her experience the sensations. Once she feels how good it can be having an orgasm with a finger in her ass - she will literally want more and more.

Communication is key - next is understanding that she may want to go slow! Not all women want to jump right in - but many are happy that they did once they are there!

Good luck, and remember to play safe - read all the posts here about safe anal play before starting with this chapter of your sex life!

Have fun!

Mikayla

[sexykitty]

MY MAN BROUGHT UP THE TOPIC OF ANAL SEX AND I WASNT FOR IT AT ALL AT THE TIME....BUT THE MORE WE TALKED ABOUT IT THE MORE I WAS GETTING INTERESTED....AS LONG AS HE WENT SLOW.....AND IF I DIDNT LIKE IT HE WOULD STOP......WELL LET ME JUST SAY WE HAVE BEEN DOING IT EVER SINCE.....FROM A WOMENS POINT OF VIEW ON THIS TOPIC I HAVE TO SAY IT WAS A FEELING LIKE NO OTHER......I REALLY ENJOY IT AND KNOWING THAT MY MAN LOVES IT MAKES IT ALL GOOD.......I DONT KNOW WHY I WAS SO AGAINST IT BEFORE......IM GLAD I GAVE IT A TRY AND I HOPE YOUR WIFE WILL TOO.......GOOD LUCK AND ENJOY

[always]

MY MAN BROUGHT UP THE TOPIC OF ANAL SEX AND I WASNT FOR IT AT ALL AT THE TIME....BUT THE MORE WE TALKED ABOUT IT THE MORE I WAS GETTING INTERESTED....AS LONG AS HE WENT SLOW.....AND IF I DIDNT LIKE IT HE WOULD STOP......WELL LET ME JUST SAY WE HAVE BEEN DOING IT EVER SINCE.....FROM A WOMENS POINT OF VIEW ON THIS TOPIC I HAVE TO SAY IT WAS A FEELING LIKE NO OTHER......I REALLY ENJOY IT AND KNOWING THAT MY MAN LOVES IT MAKES IT ALL GOOD.......I DONT KNOW WHY I WAS SO AGAINST IT BEFORE......IM GLAD I GAVE IT A TRY AND I HOPE YOUR WIFE WILL TOO.......GOOD LUCK AND ENJOY

I personally don't enjoy anal sex as much as vaginal, but my wife and I have recently (for the first time with her) tried using fingers for anal stimulation. I initiated things by talking to her about extended male orgasm. She willingly did this for me while giving me a hand job, and I think it turned her on to see how good it was for me. After that, I tried it with her, and she liked it, but was a little shy to really let loose. She is a small person, and vaginal sex is intense for her at times, so I'm a little afraid to push the anal issue. However, I would love to have her use a toy (plug or beads) on me. I gues I'm just a little shy. I used to own beads, and I loved them. They were purchased by an old girlfriend for me, and when I got together with my wife, I threw them away because I didn't want her to find them. Damn..I wish I still had those beads. Every time I go to a sex shop, I want to buy some. I don't know why I don't.

[SSU76]

MY MAN BROUGHT UP THE TOPIC OF ANAL SEX AND I WASNT FOR IT AT ALL AT THE TIME....BUT THE MORE WE TALKED ABOUT IT THE MORE I WAS GETTING INTERESTED....AS LONG AS HE WENT SLOW.....AND IF I DIDNT LIKE IT HE WOULD STOP......WELL LET ME JUST SAY WE HAVE BEEN DOING IT EVER SINCE.....FROM A WOMENS POINT OF VIEW ON THIS TOPIC I HAVE TO SAY IT WAS A FEELING LIKE NO OTHER......I REALLY ENJOY IT AND KNOWING THAT MY MAN LOVES IT MAKES IT ALL GOOD.......I DONT KNOW WHY I WAS SO AGAINST IT BEFORE......IM GLAD I GAVE IT A TRY AND I HOPE YOUR WIFE WILL TOO.......GOOD LUCK AND ENJOY

sexykitty - we talked and we're going to try it, slowly. What "toy" would you suggest to start off with?

[sexykitty]

sexykitty - we talked and we're going to try it, slowly. What "toy" would you suggest to start off with?

so glad that you and your wife are going to try anal sex....just reread some of the posts here and be safe and start of slow etc....as for what toy to use im sorry i cant help you out on that....im sure one of the other regulars here would love to offer some advice about what toy to use,,,,,I have never used a toy for anal sex so thats why i can not offer any advice...im not really sure if i would personally like using a toy....now thats just me and my opinion i really dont even care for having a finger in my anal.....I just LOVE LOVE LOVE the real thing....nothng like the feeling of my mans hard cock inside my ass......m m m ......well im sure you will get more help on this topic....but hey thanks for asking for my advice,,,,,maybe next time you have a question i can help you out better....take care and have fun

[Mikayla1]

Good toys for anal sex are basic plugs, vibrating plugs and my favorite - the Vibrating Pleasure beads.

If you look at the Sex Toy Reviews, I have done a review on these wonder gems - they are FANTASTIC! They are not too big, sturdy (for easier insertion) and they vibrate for a heavenly feeling when inserted! I immediately thought that they would be good for beginners, even though I am not a novice, because they are easy to insert, and the "bumps" get gradually larger as you insert them so you can go as far as you feel comfortable.

So, I would greatly suggest you start with these! If you have any other questions, please ask. Always remember the basic rules of anal play:

1) Be sober and aware

2) LUBE LUBE LUBE - you can never have too much lube

3) Use toys that are appropriate for anal play - you can loose a toy up the anal canal (no shit!)

4) Go slow - go slow - go slow

5) There should never be pain - if it hurts - STOP, add lube, or PULL OUT!

Ok, there you go, have fun!

Mikayla

[ironmiss]

I guess I am technically not a first timer... I had anal sex almost 30 years ago.... but none since. My boyfriend would love to try it and I have consented, we just need to find the right moment... and we have a slight problem... or should I say a BIG problem... he is very well endowed, over 9 inches, and he more than satisfies me vaginally, so I am a little timid..... will this be a problem if we use lots of lube and go slow, or is this something we should just dream about? I would really like to give him the ultimate, so any advice would be appreciated....

[ironmiss]

First: Read Mikayla's pieces on Anal sex posted elsewhere here.

Second: Since it has been so long since you had anal sex, it will be almost like doing it the first time again. You need to stretch your sphincter muscles to get them prepared to have anal sex. You lover can use his fingers, one then two, etc. to help do this, but you can also use dildoes and vibrators to reach your goal. If you understand the anatomy of the rectum, the rectum curves along the front, or anterior side of the tailbone, and curves upward, only a few inches above the anus. Inserting a long anything, much less a long penis will take time to be able to do, and will take a lot of practice. It is his girth that should be your first concern, and, obviously, his too. Most men with a cock that long are also going to be fairly wide, at least at the base of their penis. It may take weeks, months or even years of practice before you can take his full length. The rectum can and does stretch, but it does not have the thickness of tissue that your vagina has, so take it very slow, and easy. You can tear the wall very easily, and you don't want to go through that. I recommend you try using dildoes and butt plugs, which you can purchase here at the shopping section, to stretch yourself. On the day you are going to have anal sex, you can begin with a small buttplug, and after you relax and get used to its size, then remove it and replace it with a well lubed medium sized buttplug. Wear that around for awhile, and get use to its size. Then use a dildoe, or vibrator to get you relaxed, and prepared for actually anal sex. My lover often had her buttplug in her ass when she came to me, and had me take it out, so I could " feel how much she wanted me in her ass" as she was so erotic in saying to me. There was much foreplay, and playinging around with the buttplug in her ass, before I removed it, lubed up my cock, and then slowly entered her. She always gave me directions on how fast, how much, and how far I went. I am not as well endowed as your BF is, so I don't have the same problem he has. But, I took it gently every time. When I finally was in as far as she wanted me, I would stay still until she got used to me, and then teased her by stqying still awhile longer. She would start clutching my cock with her ass muscles, and only then did I begin to move. Often after she had her first orgasm, her ass would loosen some more, and she would tell me to go in further. The first time she took me all the way, she was on top, and after a couple of orgasms, just sat all the way down on my cock grabbing it with her PC muscles as she slid down on me, until she had it all. She just sat there, getting use to how wide her anus was stretched. She began to run up to her climax, while staying still, and had a terrific climax without me touching her anywhere else. Of course, she squeezed me solidly, and that started me going, too.

So, take it easy, but You take charge of the event. Since you have some prior experience, share that with your lover, and talk to him about how you want to go about doing this. He is thrilled to be having the experience, and will be more than willing to do it your way. He can be assured it will be the best anal sex he will ever experience.

thanks so much for your quick reply..... he has indicated that he will take it slow and be gentle... I did read through EVERYTHING so I think I must want this as much as he does.....his size does worry me though... and yes, it is thick as well.... I am truly a lucky woman.... a man with a cock like that who can fuck is a rare gem, and I give him as much as he wants when he wants it! We have ordered some good lube and I think I may purchase some toys.... I want this to be the experience of a lifetime for both of us! He will be over a bit later, so even though this might not be "the night" for our anal encounter, I know that I will be getting and giving fabulous sex in a few hours, and I am going to approach him with this new information! Thanks again, and good luck!

[ladypc]

My wife and I are getting our "second wind", and I would like to try anal sex. We have never done this, and I don't know how to initiate it without upsetting her or have her think I'm some kind of pervert. I do think she will love it once we get past the initial "shock". Any ideas on how to get her interested in this?

try starting with u finger and go from there

[elise]

I guess I am technically not a first timer... I had anal sex almost 30 years ago.... but none since. My boyfriend would love to try it and I have consented, we just need to find the right moment... and we have a slight problem... or should I say a BIG problem... he is very well endowed, over 9 inches, and he more than satisfies me vaginally, so I am a little timid..... will this be a problem if we use lots of lube and go slow, or is this something we should just dream about? I would really like to give him the ultimate, so any advice would be appreciated....

My husband is also very well-endowed (almost 9 inches long and really thick), and i had the same qualms about anal at first. I love my his bigness. Size definitely matters LOL! I know other women who agree that a big cock feels way better for regular sex, so you're not alone. Only after I had learned to cum from anal sex did I realize that his big cock is even nicer in my ass. My anal first time was with cunnilingus, and he put his finger in my anus just as I was about to cum. Talk about explosive! I was addicted immediately. We used fingers & toys in my ass for a long time before I finally asked him to put his cock in my ass. I think I could've done it sooner than I did, but having lots of time to learn that bigger objects felt good in my ass definitely made my first anal intercourse easier. The first time we had anal intercourse we really took our time. We talked thru it, and although I could only take about half his length the first time, it felt really good. My husband stroked my clit and we both came really fast. We found that with lots of clit and anal play my ass relaxed completely and I was able to take his entire cock on our second or third try.

[mommy2krt]

I want to have anal with my fiance and i know he wants to, we have discussed it but how do I get him to SLOW down, he doesnt seem to realize that when he just jumps into it i tense up and I am a tiny person to begin with I have had 2 children but it still is very tight when we have sex vaginally much less anal. I want to so bad because i like a finge rin my ass it deffiantely heightens the orgasm, but he needs to slow down, how do i tell him this and actually get him to do it?

[nosleepnmesa]

The best advice I can give you and maybe a suggestion is, you have to talk him threw it, or you could have him lay on his back and you get on top of him and insert his penis in you at the rate you want nice and slow. Sometimes we women have to take control of the situtation since men get so carried away at times.

Keep us posted!