Members mystofpric Posted April 27, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 Pressing Start So in all great romances there is one big, huge even, road block: the beginning. Yes, those awkward first moments when you’re just getting to know each other and you’re still trying to decide if you actually like the person or are just mildly attracted to them. The nervous jitters about asking someone out and the fear of rejection. The rush when they say yes and the letdown when they turn out to be a sloppy kisser. We’ve all been there. Traditionally, all the fear and pressure of asking someone out fell to the gentleman in question. Thus creating the “Why hasn’t he called me?” mentality in women and the “Dear God, what if she says no?” fear in men. However, with the sexual revolution and the women’s lib movement, that all changed. Or did it? Is it actually acceptable for a woman to be bold and take the first step? Or, like our mothers’ mothers, are we supposed to timidly wait with shy downcast eyes, hoping he’ll notice us? Are we supposed to still be sitting in a field plucking the petals off of some poor, unsuspecting Black-Eyed Susan, reciting “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not?” Personally, I feel it’s cruel and unusual punishment for such a lovely flower, and I always cheat anyway. I personally have always subscribed to the “If you want something, you take it” theory and have pretty much always been the asker if I was really interested. Now a few notable exceptions come to mind that totally caught me off guard, but that is different. To be honest, this plan has always failed for me. Why is that? The obvious answer is that it’s me. However, I’m awesome. So, could it be that by asking guys out I’m somehow breaking the rules? Could it be that in the grand scheme of things women are always to be asked out? And why is that? We truly are not a weaker sex, nor are we any less capable of doing the asking. Which means that it’s cultural? In the age of “going dutch”, does that not include initiating? While my one (yes, and only) relationship started by him asking me out, I don’t think that should prove that I should stop trying to be bold. Sure, of the handful of guys I’ve asked out none have actually said yes, but then again, could it simply be that of the guys who have asked me out I’ve always said yes? Doesn’t that affect the stats somehow? And why wouldn’t a guy ask someone out? I mean BESIDES the obvious, right? Clearly, if he doesn’t like her, fine, but couldn’t it just be that he’s unsure of how things are supposed to go, or if she’s interested? Or are these just a silly girl’s wishful thoughts? Why can’t or even shouldn’t it just be so easy as to walk up to someone and say “Hi, my name is Suzy, and you have a cute butt.. Dinner?” Speaking of dinner, that brings us to the next awkward part of a first date: the check. Who picks it up? I personally subscribe to the, "I ask, I pay" rule, though I offer if he’s going to pick it up. Is that right? Should I offer or should I truly play by my own rule and just accept? Or expect as the case may be. And what if he doesn’t even offer, even though he did the asking? Should that be a clear “nope, not a date sign” or does it simply mean that he assumes I’m a “modern woman” and I go dutch? What does that say about him? I personally have to think that it’s a clear non-date if he expects me to go half. I mean, I’d pick up the tab if I asked him. Oh, the world of dating. Treacherous waters ahead! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mailahn97 Posted April 27, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 Very good article. It is true the begining of dating can be so scary due to so many unknowns. Just take it one step at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted April 27, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 Very good article. It is true the begining of dating can be so scary due to so many unknowns. Just take it one step at a time.And somehow manage not to freak out over unreturned phone calls? Okay Umm hmmm, I guess i'll have to really take more walks with zeus.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mailahn97 Posted April 27, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 And somehow manage not to freak out over unreturned phone calls? Okay Umm hmmm, I guess i'll have to really take more walks with zeus....Ah hell I will send Re up to keep you busy or you can just talk to her on the phone. Then again she thinks you are around the corner since she just wants to drive over to see ya. Patience I know easier said than done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted April 27, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 Ah hell I will send Re up to keep you busy or you can just talk to her on the phone. Then again she thinks you are around the corner since she just wants to drive over to see ya. Patience I know easier said than done.Zeus and I are gonna be super skinny from all the walking we're gonna do until we get an answer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted April 27, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 Very well said, Suzy. I enjoyed it.and since I am right there with ya, trying to start over,I appreciate the thought you put into it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted April 27, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted April 27, 2009 Very well said, Suzy. I enjoyed it.and since I am right there with ya, trying to start over,I appreciate the thought you put into it.Well I did call Mr Theatre and well it went to voicemail (rang through so not ignored) and I'm still waiting. Yeah, I called yesterday. I'm gonna wait until Wednesday and just be like "hey, it's Sue, I was trying to finalize plans for this weekend and I was wondering if you were down for that movie? Thanks much hun, talk to you soon!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mailahn97 Posted April 28, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 28, 2009 Well I did call Mr Theatre and well it went to voicemail (rang through so not ignored) and I'm still waiting. Yeah, I called yesterday. I'm gonna wait until Wednesday and just be like "hey, it's Sue, I was trying to finalize plans for this weekend and I was wondering if you were down for that movie? Thanks much hun, talk to you soon!"I think that is a great way to handle it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted April 28, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted April 28, 2009 I think that is a great way to handle itYou should! It's your damned idea! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted April 28, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 28, 2009 ok that's fine to call on Wednesday, but if he doesn't call back... forget him. BTW Pressing start was fun reading. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted April 28, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted April 28, 2009 ok that's fine to call on Wednesday, but if he doesn't call back... forget him. BTW Pressing start was fun reading. Thanks.Thanks hun! If i don't hear back from him when i go in to see my old boss and hes around i'm just gonna ignore him and go about my day. That way he MIGHT though doubtfully, realize what he missed out on. On the other hand the semester is almost over and he was looking for a summer job, so he could be busy..... men. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted April 28, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 28, 2009 Thanks hun! If i don't hear back from him when i go in to see my old boss and hes around i'm just gonna ignore him and go about my day. That way he MIGHT though doubtfully, realize what he missed out on. On the other hand the semester is almost over and he was looking for a summer job, so he could be busy..... men. lolok, just don't appear to be to eager. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted April 28, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted April 28, 2009 ok, just don't appear to be to eager.Eager? Me? No, NEVER. Okay a little, but i'm trying my best hence the waiting before seeing him again and the waiting between phone calls. Really trying hard, lol. Me thinks my doubting ways are what's gonna get me though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mailahn97 Posted April 28, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 28, 2009 Eager? Me? No, NEVER. Okay a little, but i'm trying my best hence the waiting before seeing him again and the waiting between phone calls. Really trying hard, lol. Me thinks my doubting ways are what's gonna get me though.Hell we will keep you busy so that the time will pass for ya sis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members garry Posted April 28, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 28, 2009 Very nice article . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.