The Call
Entry posted by whiskeywoman
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I did talk to Katprrr earlier, and her loss brings back so many memories of what I went through when I lost my son.
I know it hurt her like hell to talk to me, and yeah at times I was on the verge of tears myself.
At times like this I sit back and remember all the fun stuff my son used to do.
One of my favorites was when he came out in his batman pajama bottoms, no shirt and a beach towel around his neck, he jumped up on the back of my couch, assumed the classic, one hand in the air, the other fisted and on his hip pose, and announced in his very best superhero ish voice "I'M SUPER GLUE!"
Then he promptly fell behind the couch and said "uh, mom, a bit of help here please, super glue is stuck.."
I fell over in my chair laughing my ass off.
He said "It's not funny mom, help me up!"
All of a sudden he jumped up from behind the couch with our ferret Snowball hanging off of his cape, he said "never mind, Snowball unstuck me.."
I laughed all the harder at watching him running around the apartment trying to dislodge the ferret from his cape.
Another favorite was when he was 10, and my oldest girl was 2, they both came out of the bedroom, he had a bathtowel around his neck and she had a handtowel around hers.
They jumped on my coffee table and began making their capes flap in the breeze and go "whoosh"
I was laughing and asked him what he was doing.
He said "I am superglue mom, and this is my sidekick, stick"
I said "stick?"
He replied "yeah stick, shes glue stick, shes always hanging around me, so I figured glue stick was a good name for a sidekick"
The I asked "what are you doing on my table?"
He said "this isn't a coffee table, this a whoosh cliff"
Of course I was laughing at this, I asked "what the heck is a whoosh cliff?"
He said "come on ma, everyone knows a whoosh cliff is where super heros go to make their capes go "WHOOSH!"
The whole time my daughter was mimicking him " yeah ma, Whoosh!"
I asked if I could get on the whoosh cliff, he said "No, you don't have a cape, and your not a superhero"
I said I could get a cape and become one, he said "no you can't.. your a MOM"
Then there was the time he tried to help me clean the house.
He offered to do the dishes, never being one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I accepted.
Looking back upon the offer, perhaps it would have been best if I had simply done them myself.
He used a half of a bottle of concetrated dish soap, then took off to use the rest room.
When I came out from starting laundry, my entire kitchen floor was covered in suds!
Well, we got the mess cleaned up, I asked him to take the mop outside so it could dry.
He was gone for quie a while, when I looked out to see what had happned, there he was, dancing the tango with my mop.
He had even pushed the "hair" back, and began "kissing" it.
I had to have a snap shot of it, so I quickly snapped a picture.
Yes, I do have it, somewhere.
He was very comical.
He used to tell me that humor was the best defense anyone could ever have.
I have to agree with him, I have used my sense of humor to make light of several bad situations.
I have to, if I can't laugh at life, and everything that it holds, shoot me, the party is over.
I walked around kind of like a zombie for a few months.
I couldn't bring myself to face the fact that he was gone.
One day I decided it was time to clean out his room.
It took me all day, I made dinner in the crock pot, just in case I wasn't able to.
Then I walked into his room, and began packing things away, deciding what was going to the purple heart, and what I was keeping.
Somewhere in the midst of his clothes I found his favorite shirt, most parents know about "the shirt"
The one thats faded from all the washing, the one that is wayyyyy too small, but they insist on wearing it anyway, because "it's comfortable"
Even though they turn a funky shade of purple because they can't breathe, or you can see their belly button everytime they put it on, its "comfortable"
I lost it at that point in time, I began crying, not the " it hurts" crying we all do from time to time, this was more of a " i can't function without him, hes part of me, part of me is gone too" deep, wracking sobs.
Eventually, I did get over the zombified state.
I tried getting a job, it didn't last too long.
I got a tattoo, as a way to immortalize my son.
I have a dreamcatcher, with a scene he told me about, a wolf howling, in front of a backdrop of mountains with the grey clouds in the sky.
I went on a letter writing campaign, it has lasted for 4 years.
I still do it, as a way to help bring light on the subject of more responsible gun ownership.
No, don't confuse my ideas with gun control.
I believe we all control our own guns.
My belief is for gun owners to be responsible owners.
Use trigger locks and gun cabinets.
Educate your children on firearm safety.
Make sure they know, guns are NOT toys, and they are NOT to be fooled around with.
Guns kill people.
Yes, the bullets do too, but only if fired from a gun, if you throw them, the "victim" is probably going to fall on the floor laughing their ass off at you.
Yes the person pulling the trigger of the gun with the bullet in it also kills people.
He is apt to do more damage than an unloaded gun or simply throwing a bullet at you.
Make sure they KNOW you have a gun, and make sure they KNOW you use a trigger lock, this way there are no surprises if they happen to stumble across it.
If they try to pick the trigger lock, it will destroy the firing pin, making it inoperable.
Take the key for the trigger lock with you, lock the ammunition away out of reach.
This is not friggin brain surgery people.
taking 10 to 20 minutes out of your day to put your guns in a cabinet and put trigger locks on the weapons is not going to make or break you, it will however assure that your children will not shoot themselves or someone else accidentally, because they found a gun.
Kids are a miracle, appreciate the time you have with them, you never know when theyll be gone.
Night folks
God bless you Kat, your in my prayers.
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