bbarney

This is actually not an unusual request. I dont remember the name of the thread but a while back I was reading through a whole string of posts from guys who have done this, have considered it, or who wanted to do it. After thinking about it for a long time I actually told her I wanted to try it. It is completely different than I expected it to be and in a way it is a relief. As many men on these forums have noticed or pointed out, as men, we are constantly judging ourselves and taught to be afraid of homosexual thoughts/actions even though we know we are straight (at least I have experienced this) and though the act of sharing this experience with your partner isn't something that is homosexual we are confronted with those thoughts/beliefs. When I shared this experience with my girlfriend it was wonderful. She enjoyed it very much as well. It brought us closer together as a couple and we felt even more relaxed in our ability to share fantasies. So I guess overall the answer is that this isn't unusual and I strongly encourage taking the leap and trying this with your wife. If you don't like it, or she doesn't like it oh well, but it is well worth the chance. Good luck!

A vibe, especially a bullet, should be perfectly fine for your hymen. The hymen is a thin membrane that is torn during penetration or in some circumstances through sports like horseback riding or yoga, anything where it could be stretched. A vibe is used primarily on the clitoris (except for vibes which are intended for insertion) and wont pose any risk.

Have you tried telling her that you want her to be more dominant?

My best guess for the cause would be that when you had the initial illness there was a swelling in your throat of some sort. Though I have no medical experience that is worth noting, I do know that the lymph nodes on the sides of your neck will swell if the body has an infection. Two weeks later when you were no longer sick you could have had some of the tension still and as result you were sub-consciously afraid. Whether or not that is the direct cause I would just go back to the basics and work your way up again. Try practicing and see if you can get something down there (a dildo or a banana?) and once you can try it on him again. I doubt you're broken, more likely just scared without meaning to be.

I bought this for my girlfriend not too long ago and she loves it. Its quiet enough that you should be fine around others as long as you keep it on it's lowest setting. http://www.tootimid.com/4-inch-mini-wand-massager.html

She could have lied about it because she was afraid of the consequences. I know that sounds trivial but from personal experience that fear is terrifying. Almost a year ago when I was on my way home from a meeting with one of my teachers my girlfriend was out at the newly opened shopping outlet. When I returned home I asked her where she was and when she would be home. She told me she was out with her sister and she didnt return until almost 9 at night. A couple days later, this guy at her workplace that I knew had feelings for her started a rumour (or someone close to him did) that my girlfriend was "tired of her annoying boyfriend" and that her and Jeremy had gone on a date the day she had been at the mall. I knew the rumour was false because she had been at the mall with her sister. Two days later she tells me she has something important to tell me. She had gone with him because I wasnt expecting to be back till late and she really wanted to go out. Her sister had cancelled and she needed to get out of the house. The part that hurt me the most wasnt that she had gone with him. I knew I could trust her, and that she loves me. I also knew she didn't have feelings for him. What hurt was that she hadn't told me the truth and that sparked jealousy that still gets me. Though I know he isnt a threat and that they are just friends, her lying about it once causes a gut reaction to his name. It taught me something very important though. Even in a trusting relationship we sometimes feel that gut reaction that we need to lie to stay safe. Maybe she was trying to avoid causing you pain or anger. It may not be the case, but if it is then a lot of trouble gets created over nothing. Give her the benefit of the doubt and maybe youll see that she was just trying to keep you from getting angry. It doesn't make her actions justified, but it allows you two to work it out.

Hello, and welcome to the TT forums. The thing to remember is that her actions show that she feels insecure in some way. This could be due to many reasons, and the likeliest is that she could have a history with bad relationships. There is the possibility that she suspects you for some reason, independent of history, or finally the grim option is that she herself is cheating which is a common factor for a partner to accuse the other. While these all are reasons for a relationship to fail before it really has a chance, don't let it cause you to let go of yours if you aren't ready to. If you care for her enough, then I strongly advise that you just talk to her about it. Trust is a major factor of whether or not a relationship can last, so work on keeping trust between the both of you. She can lie, and in some cases it is almost expected. As humans we try to avoid painful situations. Don't let the lies deter you indefinitely. If you can work between the both of you and develop a trusting relationship, the lies will go away. If you cant, then maybe it just isnt meant to be. Give her the chance and speak with her, you can work things out between the two of you. Dont let one issue end it forever. However if the mistrust becomes a pattern, then it is cause for the relationship to end.

Hello and welcome to TT. Just a heads up, this is not a forum for finding people to meet up with. It is a forum for discussing topics related to sex as well a addressing questions.

Nothing yet, we havent had the money to go out and get anything. She did say she has an idea of what to get though, so I will keep everyone updated when we do finally do something.

I would love to put her in a dress, but she is very self conscious so that makes it a really hard sell. Hopefully someday I can convince her though =). Thanks for the idea ladylove, sadly though I asked her about getting a white blouse and she said she wont wear one (very picky as well). Ill keep brainstorming and checking in though.

From personal experience, the strap-on play is a lot of fun, and despite what many would make you think, it is not a homosexual act.

For the past year or so I have had this fantasy. I want my girlfriend to dress up with a lower cut shirt, cleavage showing, etc, and go out in public. Dinner, movies, just shopping i don't care. I have discussed it with her, and she is willing, even intrigued. The problem is that when we first started dating she didnt have even one "girl" shirt, she wore printed T's. Now she has many "girl" shirts but nothing low cut. We have tried picking out shirts that might be more revealing, but I am horrible in determining what will work without being too over the top, and she doesn't know what kind of shirts to look for. I was hoping some of the ladies in here can help with this. Pretty much anything from what kind of shirt to pick out, to how to get the right cleavage without too much work. She is a small-mid B. Any tips appreciated, thank you =).

For just teasing/foreplay, you only really need to use the toys, and well...tease her. Its just like normal foreplay with the addition of restraints and toys.

Hello Lucian and welcome to TT. Routine is something that is part of master/slave relationships for couples who really enjoy bdsm. So it really depends on what kind of bdsm you are going for. If you two plan on bdsm to spice up the bedroom and not as a constant ritual then you have many choices to make, and they will be unique to you both. To begin with, you will need a safe word. Even in really intense bdsm there needs to be that safe word. It should be something out of the ordinary that can be used as a clear indicator. In my own relationship we use "red" meaning stop. It also has to be clear in meaning. If she were to say it, you have to stop. You can ask why, but you must stop, and vice versa. Work together to agree on a word that wouldn't normally come up. The second thing to do is set boundaries if any. If she says no anal for example, then you can't just tie her up and force it. However over time, you may be able to start exploring these options. Some couples find that ideas they were previously against they start becoming open to as they are teased and prodded. These are the foundations for the bdsm play, and they come down to strong communication. Now you start getting into the kinky stuff. Whips, paddles, restraints, cuffs, bars, you name it. There are plenty of options available which makes the process of choosing your ritual (if you have one) all the more exciting. You can start light as you mentioned with a feather whip, or you can jump into it. I have even read somewhere on here that one couple uses a submission ritual, where the husband leaves the room and she prepares herself at the foot of the bed on her knees at which point he returns and "uses" her. It will depend on how far you both wish to go. Once you are comfortable with basic toys, teasing, etc, try branching out a bit (assuming she is okay with it). Glass toys are great for temperature play and they can be frozen or warmed up. Ropes are fun (i have heard, never used them) for tying your partner into different positions. I have even heard of things that begin to push limits and explore new ideas. One of these is putting a butter knife in a bucket of ice. When the partner is blind folded and it is run over the skin, it feels like a razor sharp blade but does absolutely no damage to the skin. As far as just teasing, it can go much much further. There is "forcing" her to orgasm multiple times which I personally find absolutely satisfying when I have her restrained. There is orgasm denial, in some cases couples stop the sub from having an orgasm for days or weeks. There are creams and toys and all sorts of things to add extra sensitivity so even the lightest touch can bring her to the edge. Almost anything is at your disposal if you can think of it. One thing I think is worth cautioning you on though is using those porn movies as an example of "how to do it". Of course they may have some good ideas, but there is a lot going on that you dont necessarily see. While they are good for gleaning ideas, dont substitute them for experience. Always listen to her as well, and don't get so excited that you lose common sense. I can't even tell you how many times I knew something was a bad idea but got carried away and legitimately hurt her. I hope this helps, and good luck!

I wanted to post this before but didnt have time. I am sure you already know but it is always worth repeating. Make sure during this time you are both communicating. It is sometimes easy for us to think that our partner knows our thoughts, but sometimes we make big mistakes and don't even know we are making them. Having her do research as well can't hurt, or doing it together. Some of the most effective techniques that I have found in my own life were found with my girlfriend helping me. She knows what she likes, I know what I like, its just more effective. The second thing to do, even if you have already, is learn new ways to use your hands. Fingering her (if she is comfortable with it) is a great way to explore and play. I used to be incredibly bad with my hands, so much so that no matter what I did with my fingers inside her, she only wanted me to stop. I learned over time how to use my hands in ways that gets her over the top, and I don't even have to touch her clitoris. This is also a great way to ensure she is fully in the mood, and maybe experiment (if she gives the "ok") with putting your fingers deeper. Though I doubt your middle finger is as long as your penis, its a good way to explore and get a better idea of what she may be feeling during sex. I spent countless hours learning what she should look like inside, diagrams and pictures and articles. None of them taught me as much as thirty minutes of "hands-on experience". In your initial post you did say you use plenty of lube. What kind of lube do you use? Some are more effective than others depending on the application. I personally love my Sweet Licks lube for oral, but it is horrible for anal. I have other lubes that are perfect for anal but can't be used effectively vaginally. Finally there are the lubes that are almost as good as her natural lubrication, but cant be used elsewhere. Water based lubes work well, and recently i got a water/silicone hybrid that I love. Specifically one that is gel-like in texture will work best because they break down once friction is applied an apply far more lubrication over an area. This will make it easier, but obviously wont solve the problem. You also may want to consider finding a long dildo. Whatever your length is, go for something similar. So if you were 9" for example, go for a 9.5" or 10". Do not insert the whole thing, that would be bad. Instead work with her, pleasure her, and see what she is comfortable with (or have her insert it). This may give you a better idea of what and where is causing her pain, and is much easier than figuring it out in the heat of the moment. As I mentioned before, sex positions are vital. Some you may want to consider are spooning, both standing, and her on top of you with her butt on your stomach. This final one will allow her to lower herself, and might be better than cowgirl because of the angle. The good news is that no matter what, as long as you two work together you will find a pleasurable method of having sex.

I was thinking about this overnight because i felt Tyger answered this sufficiently. I had an idea that might help you with your situation though. Have you tried the use of cock rings? Something fairly large in width might be best. You could position it a bit ahead of your maximum depth and so when you penetrate you are reminding yourself how far you can go, it will help finding a rythm as well as give her the clitoral stimulation she might be lacking. I of course am assuming there is little stimulation because by not being able to fully penetrate your pelvic bone wont be against hers. As far as positions go, you are of course limited currently but only by your imagination. While the more "conventional" positions may be difficult, it takes some experience and training to do those. There are also others that may be possible. In my own life I only have this problem with both of her legs up, however over time there have been cases where we can do both legs up without her feeling pain just by me knowing when I cant go further. Keep in mind only the first inch or so of your penis needs stimulation for ejaculation. Controlling the movements even during arousal can be far more pleasurable than just letting go. I have also seen quite a few positive things about Kama-sutra and the different books on it. Though I have not tried it myself, it may be something worth investigating. If I am not mistaken, a member of these forums even reported orgasm that was satisfying without constant stimulation.

I personally haven't used this toy but I have had products with a silver finish that comes off over time. It is because the toy itself isn't made out of silver, it is generally painted on and has a protective coating to keep it on. Best advice for that is to replace it, or to use a cloth and rub all the silver off by hand.

Hello and welcome to TT. I am glad you are so open and I hope you enjoy your time here. With regards to your issue, have you considered that there may be a reason why she is uncomfortable? I dont know if she has recently decided she does not like oral sex or if this has been a long time thing. In either case as mentioned already, the first step is to talk to her. Its the advice always given first because it works the best. See if there is a reason why she feels uncomfortable. The next step is to talk to her about your fantasies. Be open and honest, but do not push. If she resists, maybe lessen a bit and see if theres a different road she is willing to take with you. Sometimes to take a leap we have to take the baby steps first. As far as eating from her pussy. I must say that you have the benefit of not being outright uncomfortable with the thought at first. Many men feel homophobic when considering that even though there is nothing homosexual in nature about it. Many men here can relate to the thought, fantasy, or action of eating our cum from our SO's pussy. Some of us have been able, others have not. I myself have become keen to the idea but have not had the nerve or opportunity to actually give it a go yet. Best of luck and I hope it all works out for you.

We have tried vibrating panties in public multiple times but they have never worked out well. The vibrations arent strong enough on her clit, or shes not in the mood, or the panties arent very good in general, you name it. I have tried a butt plug while actively moving around once and didnt really enjoy it. I have always been searching for that "perfect toy" though that can get her off and is discreet.

I have, in fact I am kind of proud of it I guess. Some of my friends I am very open with about my sex life so I tell them how much I love reviewing toys. Other places I might mention it if appropriate. I tend to be a very open person about that kind of thing though to the extent that I share that I enjoy toys and TT but not what I actually "enjoy".

I love that there are all ages on here. Its the best way to learn a lot. After all isnt it true that with age comes experience?

Yeah, what do you think? I am in the same boat as Ready. All I know is sometimes I hurt her cause I am too big, and that anal is a nightmare, and I am only 7" 1/2

Not quite sure if it counts seeing as it was a high school breakup but when I was a junior I was dating this girl under the initial conditions that we wanted to be together so we wouldnt be alone. Looking back it was a pretty lame reason to be "dating". Anyways about a month in she broke up with me when a guy who I barely know called me a womanizer (me being the most innocent guy in the high school). That night I overdosed on cough medicine in a hormone fueled fit of depression. While I thought it would kill me it had a...happy effect. She asked me back out and this led to a string of four (I think) get together and break-ups, each nastier than the last. Finally in the last one we just called it quits, but since that time she has been some kind of nasty, and I am ashamed to say I have returned the behavior in kind.

I think the blame goes largely among both members of the marriage, but a little bit extra goes on the cheater. Of course every situation is different but in most cases when someone cheats, it is because something in the relationship is lacking (excluding men/women who go out to have sex for fun and aren't committed to the relationship) and as result the issues causing the infidelity need to be resolved for the marriage to work. Its on the one who is cheating to talk to their partner and work these issues out, as well as beg for forgiveness, but to assume that anyone who cheats holds no value for the relationship is a slippery slope to play on. At the same time, using "you arent meeting my needs" as an excuse for infidelity is nothing more than a sign of immaturity and the inability to take responsibility for actions. So for those cheating, they need to smarten up.

Depending on how comfortable with anal you are, the toy choice is going to vary. My best recommendation would always be something that comes with a kit, so you can try different toys out. This would be worth considering: http://www.tootimid.com/anal-starter-kit.html. However if a kit is just not what you are looking for, or you are not willing to invest too much the first go around, I recommend determining your comfort zone. If you are comfortable with anal sex, butt plugs are always fun, provide a lot of pleasure, and help relax the muscles to a larger size. Personally, I enjoyed this plug set: http://www.tootimid.com/dr-joel-anal-curve-kit.html. Otherwise beads are the way to go in my opinion. Any beads will do, but the cheaper ones are just as effective. Keep in mind sizes when buying toys, while one inch may not seem big now, it is when it is going in. I hope this helps, feel free to ask more questions if you need clarification.