Ok , My opinion as male who loves feeling powerless and helpless at the hands of a female. Tie him naked to the bed spread eagle. Bring him to full erection and close to climax. Stop and leave for a while. Repeat this until his balls are killing him. Finally inform him your going to park your pussy on his face, and if he gives you a good enough orgasm, you will give him a handjob. After your climax make him wait some more. You can up the anti if he starts taking better care of your needs. As far as not knowing what he wants you to do. It does not matter what he wants. He is at your mercy. He does not want any choices. Good Luck. If you need more contact me. I am newbie and need some friendly chat.