I totally understand wanting the real thing, I sure miss it. I can tell you that when I am focused on having a mind blowing orgasm it ends up being mediocre. I like this forum and the people who participate in it. Sassnclass ans Eager4beaver write some fabulous descriptive erotic stories. Many members share beautiful pictures. I let my mind enjoy the stories, pictures, and flirting to help me get ready mentally before using my toys or fingers. When I'm almost ready to orgasm just from the mental arousal, then I let myself get physical. I try to go slow. I find that if I use a lighter slower touch with clit stimulation and teasing myself with insertion the way I'd like a lover to be I end up having fabulous orgasms with gushing. Try to focus more on the journey than the destination.