sexxxikittie

Just a thought for you, maybe the two of you should go and look online to see what is out there, or better yet, find a shop that the two of you can visit together. You might find some interesting ideas there. Sometimes you will see things in the books or from videos (which I know that you have seen) that both of you want to try. At a store, you can be very open as to what interests you and the employees are quite good with suggestions too. I have seen many couples in the stores and they bounce ideas off one another and get plenty of suggestions too. You might see some body paint, or gels, or who knows what that you might find stimulating and fun. And above all ENJOY!!!!!!!

I read the posts and checked out the articles and I am still sitting with a few questions. I have never been with someone that has used them, I have seen them online and in the stores as well. Actually, I had a friend ask me about them too. His g/f was mentioning new things to him, he asked me about some things and, so of course, I directed him to this site. He read a lot of the articles, checked through the site, and we both had the same question about the cock rings. They come in all varieties, colors, materials, etc., but how do you know what size will work? If you purchase them, you cannot return them (especially worriesome if they are not adjustable). And most importantly are they painful? I have seen some in the shops and they look quite small to me, how can you be sure to get one that isn't going to be too small. Do you have to put them on a bottle to stretch them and will they shrink back to their original size again? We saw the time on the use too - and it seems to vary among users and the other links from 15 min - 30 min. If your in the middle of a long session and you don't realize, will your body let you know that you need to stop and take it off??? More honestly, this guy is really trying to make something special for his girl and I just can't find the answers either. Can someone please help out on this? What would be the best suggestions that he could have and how easily can they be attained, are they mostly online, or can you find them in most adult stores? Thanks for the help, from both of us! LOL

I bought myself some ben-wa balls a few months ago and tried them out. One problem, no matter how far I inserted them - when I stood up and started walking around the house doing "normal" household activities - laundry, dishes, etc., they kept falling out. I was working the pc muscles to try to keep them in and still - out they fell. The only good thing that seemed to some from this experience is a flatter tummy from tightening my muscles with this workout. Any suggestions as to why they want to fall out, what I can do to try to keep them inside??

I have tried the anal route with toys and I have found that I love it. So, being as I was doing that - preparation...still...I decided to try the dp with a toy vaginally too. Let me tell you - amazing!!!! I am still hesitant about taking a man's penis anally, but that will happen in due time, and I am waiting for a certain someone for that experience anyway. I want to be very comfortable and have total assurance of trust too. But from my point of view - dp is great and, if I felt comfortable, sure, I would try a 3-way experience with it too (sooo not what I would have thought even a few months ago - I am a one-on-one type of person). But as for using the toy and having a man inside me too - what a great thought that is!!

Well, glad you had a good experience with it. I bought this a few months ago and I was sadly disappointed It just didn't seem to do anything for me, I mean nothing. I ended up resorting to my other toys - especially big blue (blue meta - cannot say one bad thing about that one ). I bought it because the shape intrigued me and I thought wow - this could be something, and water-proof too - my favorite. I guess that I might have to "play" around a bit more and give it another try - maybe it might work now? Maybe its just me - as ever - everyone has their own preferences. Just another thought though - what about use for anal play?

Yes, yes, yes. Look at the shopping part of this site, it gives you so many choices and you can read a lot of the reviews as well. If you are one of those that likes to see things up close, by all means print the page out, I DO. If you haven't visited an adult store and there is one in your area, take the pages with you (btw - the one that I know of that is "near" me is about a 30-40 min drive). I will admit, I was VERY intimidated and embarassed myself when I went in to purchase my first toy, but I went in armed with my pages and simply asked. The people that work there are usually more than willing to help you find what you are interested in. Not all toys that you are interested in on any site will you find in every shop, but they can make suggestions too. I was even asked by employees what site I found the toys on that I was looking to purchase because they became interested the same toy, but they didn't stock it (I tell them right here). I have purchased thru the shopping section of this site, since I couldn't find the toys that I wanted at the store that I saw here. The package is very discrete, my sister even handed my package to me and had NO IDEA what it held inside. And by all means ask away here, if you read the posts you will see that there are many people here that can give you advice, suggestions and more concise information. Mikayla's reviews and suggestions on toys (as well as the many others) even got me to purchase some that I wouldn't have, and boyyyyy was she right on them. Good Luck to you and welcome!

Not to distract from the train of thought that has been going on in this post, as I believe that it is still important (communication and honesty are priorities), but back to the starting point of the anal route I go. I had given anal sex an all too brief thought years ago. I was actually put off when I suggested it to my bf at the time - he jumped out of bed and got a jar of vaseline all too quickly for me. Not even a discussion about how to do it - he just jumped out of bed and was way to ready to go for it. He scared me right out of that thought for years. It wasn't until recently when I was discussing it with another man and the experiences that he has had that I decided to check it out again. This time however, I decided to try things by myself to see if I could handle the experience. I found that I did enjoy it and I have explored it more solo - I want to be prepared for when I chose to share this. The most important thing that I can say from my point of view is COMMUNICATION helps to bridge the worries, hesitation and fears that go with it. It was open communication without the sexual situation that helped me. The whole topic was outside of any physical contact. The trial and error (should I say no error), was all on me finding out how it felt, what I like and what I can handle, since I already know that the person that I discussed it with has had more sexual experiences than I have. Yes, I have always loved sex and it was always the more "conventional" kind. Talk has opened me up to more of what I want and would be willing to try. So by all means, COMMUNICATION is the best way to get any sexual exploration initiated. Unfortunately my friends are all pretty tight-lipped about sex and as for family well... forget it. So here I am to learn and share also. By my own "old" standards I have found that I am more "kinky" than my life leads one to believe. From being here, however, I have found that I am not alone in my desires, interests and experiences. Kudos to all that have opened up here and thank you too. And for anyone that reads, keep reading and hopefully you will open up sometime too. Take care with all that you do and by all means enjoy!

LOL - I was thinking about the Ben-Wa balls just the other day. I still am a bit unclear as to how they actually are used and work. There isn't much to explain them here. Do you use both at once, individually, simultaneously with another toy? And most important, is there the possibility of them getting "lost" up there when you use them? Thank you for your replies Mikalya. Sexxxikittie

I have been looking and I already have quite a few toys, but are there any toys out there that are not "tiny" and are powerful enough to go the distance yet stay quiet? I actually found that by putting a piece of folded cloth first-aid tape around the battery silenced my pocket rocket (the battery rattled around some and made it quite audible). I have done some "rigging" on some of my other toys with adding minor "padding" on batteries, and such, but I am looking for a more quiet toy. As for the showertime play - at least that covers just about any sounds that I or my toys make - lol. Unfortunately, I have some family members living with me and when I break out my toys I want to be as quiet as possible when I want to play (not to mention it kind of hinders the ability to share my bed with someone right now too). I either have to play when everyone is asleep (which means very late at night/early am) or when I am sure that no one will be home, which actually makes it very difficult right now as one residing here is a teenage boy - grrrrrrrrrr. Closed doors around here don't stay closed for very long and my privacy has become a VERY BIG issue right now. It is like they have "radar" that goes off when I am trying to "relax." I am going to be "stuck" in this family situation most likely until Summer of '07, and I am having to change things for myself a lot lately, so I really NEED to find something to get me through this "stress" too. I have found that some of my toys I can't use right now because I have gotten more vocal when I use them, but I really miss them right now . Not to mention the difficulty of having the real company with me when I want to. I know that I can keep myself restrained from vocalizing, but I want to get a toy that packs a punch that is more silent. Does anyone have any suggestions?

This isn't so much a preference, just yet - I'm still looking for new toys myself. I do like my vibrating pleasure beads and my spectra gels beaded anal vibrator (albeit a little too soft for me). Yes, I'm am really enjoying the anal avenue. I found that I really enjoy the double penetration experience. I wouldn't have thought that it would be this incredible, but omg it is! I have found that I am actually wanting to have anal penetration more than vaginal right now - maybe because it is still a "new" experience, but I guess my sexual nature is really starting to explode right now - he he he he he. Am I crazy for this? I would like to find a vibrating anal toy that has a suction cup for use in the shower, and also one that is also more smooth. Does anyone out there have any suggestions for me?

Telecom - I love animals. I have cats and I have to say that yes mine sleep with me too. I understand how the pets in the bed can be, especially if you are not there just too sleep. I was having sex with my bf and we had a cat hop on the bed (thankfully only at the foot of the bed) while we were going at it. Both of us paused for a bit, laughed and then we kept going. From that point on the door was closed when we were in bed or having sex. I love my pets but the last thing that I want is fur in my face (or anyplace else for that matter) when I am having sex. I DO NOT think that asking to keep the door closed for you to enjoy your time together, whether it is for sex or just company in bed, is too much to ask. If she has a doggie bed or special toys for them, I would suggest putting them in another room. Give the dogs a special treat so that they might learn that they get something special too when they leave you two alone in the room. Maybe the two of you should go shopping for the stuff together (added bonus points for you for caring so much about your time together and her "babies") . I would suggest that you try to start it when you two just want to go in the room for a short period of time. If it works, then you may be able to have the night alone for whatever you chose to do and get a good night's sleep too. Yes, pets are like family to many people (like children at times), but they are still pets. And for that matter, even children need to be taught boundaries, even if it means dealing with the whining for a while. You are adults and are entitled to your time alone together too. Talk about it, and all I can say is try. The whole Pavlov dog conditioning thing might take a little while, but it might stop the whining at the door and let you two sleep in peace or at least spend some time together without the extra company. If not at least you can say that you tried. Best of luck to you!

Well, I honestly can't remember how I came across this site. More than likely, I was tooling around in the internet and ran across this one, somtime late last summer, and never forgot it. I did check it out for a while and actually posted under another name asking for advice on toys (didn't get any response - but that didn't stop me). I still read on and got more advice and info from reading. I decided to login again with a new name because I couldn't remember my password since I hadn't used the other name in so long (it was one that I only used here). I think that I deceided to post again since I still had questions that all the posts that I had read didn't hit exactally what I was looking to have answered. This site seems to have the most honest and real communication regarding sex and intimacy that I have seen. For me, talking about sex with my family is actually kind of a taboo thing - and I guess that even in my 30's I am still looked at as the "baby" in the family (even my older sister doesn't know this much about me). Here, with all the varying ages, experiences and perspectives, we can all be as open as we care to be; and isn't that what everyone needs - open communication without the embarassment or restraints that our regular lives bring? Maybe more info than you wanted, but I have found this site to be a comfortable place to be more honest about who I am and know that there are other people out there with similar likes, dislikes and questions.

Ok Mikayla, you sold me on this one. I am not one to go for the little cutesies on my toys and the hearts were a bit of a turn off to me but I ordered it and all I can say is WOW. My package came and I was a little intimidated by it - it was bigger than it looked, length and girth, but, well, what the hell... I tried it and omg I came before I got it in all the way - it was incredible. The hearts really do a lot too. Talk about multiples and then some. I actually wanted to go more but I got tired before my appetite was sated. My SO saw it online and he was a bit put off (maybe intimated) and asked if he would be able to compare after this. Definately not a worry to me. (Hope you are reading this too btw - lol) I like the "human touch" much better. And as for an addition to play with your SO, it could definate be a plus too. You are soooo right Mikyla, this is definately a must have.

I ventured into anal land and what did I find - I like it! Yes, I did my search of toys and I finally decide to try anal. The first toy I tried (a silicone flex probe) was too small - guess I'm not such a "tight ass" lol. My package from TooTimid arrived last week and the Vibrating Pleasure Beads are a really nice addition. I wouldn't have even ventured a year ago, or even a few months ago, but getting over the eeewwweee factor - I love it. Yes, I made sure to use lots of lube - started in the bath tub since the probe could attach to the tub floor or wall. And thankfully, no slipping, made sure to be very careful as the lube does make everything slick. I have even already tried larger and it is incredible too. I have been thinking of using a regular vibrator since I have a few that I really like - I haven't found a double penetrator that really piques my interest just yet. Any suggestions? Also on that note, since I am a little uneasy with the thought of cleaning of my regular vibrators (since I probably already overdo the cleaning) - are there any suggestions regarding using a condom on the vibrator for anal use - extra lubed kinds, etc.?

I can't believe that I couldn't remember the names of all the toys that I had so I went back to the store that I started at to find out what they were all called (yes, notebook in hand - will remember all the names from now on - lol). My first toy was the Waterproof Crystalessense Vibrating Penis. It was good at first, but I guess that I wore it out. It hasn't been used in a while - think that the motor might not be up to speed as the others I have. I did add to that a pocket rocket and that helped a lot. Hmmmmm as for my fav now..... well I did just get my package from tootimid last week and in it was the Blue Meta Heart on, vibrating pleasure beads, micro-mite mini masager (and a few more) and mmmmm they are sooo very nice. Yes Mikayla, your review sold me on the Blue Meta - I was a little put off by the hearts on it but thought - gotta give it a try - and omg I came before I got it all the way in - hit the spot instantly and kept me going..... Right now, I guess that I have to say my fav is Devinn Lane's Waterproof Pleasure Pal with the assistance of clit stim by a pocket rocket. The vibrator fits in nicely - all the way in in fact - and I can tilt it to hit the g-spot and wooooosh. I know that I love the Blue Meta too - but I think I like the whole play to get there - not so instantaneously - lol

Well, thank you for all the posts. I did find out that my SO has his muscles in tune too I have been flexing all the time now - and it makes it all feel sooooo wonderful too. I have found that I can make just about any toy that I have hit the spot too now - no matter what it's size is and WOW. I haven't had any children yet, I would like to someday, I hope that being able to exercise these muscles now will help that in the future now too. I did see some toys that are weighted for the excercises - but I think that the toys that I have now are working just fine . Are there any books that anyone would suggest for this type of exercising - I have more than enough toys now - lol

Have you tired using a clit stimulator? I bought one after I bought my first vibrator because it didn't always work alone - and whoooo it worked. They don't cost too much. On this site there are quite a few. I can say that the Waterproof Pocket Rocket is my fav - but I did just buy a Waterproof Vibro Dolphin (here is is $12.95) and it works fine too - kinda tickles but it got me going. I actually just ordered the Micro-Mite Mini Masager - it has extra attachments - maybe that could be a way to see what might work for you (and it isn't all that expensive here either $12.00). Have you tried a dual action vibrator? I have an Ultra Tech 3000 and that works too, and it doesn't cost as much as some of the other dual action toys - not to mention you only need to use one hand for that as opposed to having to use both with the vibrator and the stim (unless you can hold the 2 with 1 hand). If you decide to order thru this site, you must remember to add the Viva cream and the Go Vibe to your order - I just placed an order and I can't wait to see what the Viva cream will do. And if you do buy the dual action thru this site, you will still have the Go Vibe to use with your vibrator. I do have quite a few toys, but I have found that I really like my vibrator with the clit stim the best. The dual action sometimes doesn't always hit just right, but I have had orgasams with it. You just need to relax and enjoy. After reading other posts in this forum that was the greatest advice that I took from here. Just relax, go with the flow and enjoy, all things will come. Good luck to you, hope you reach your O. This is a great place to get really good advice from those with more experience - I certainly know that I have gotten a lot of help and knowledge here.

My question is about the curse, sex and toys. The curse - yes that oh so wonderful time of the month when a woman's body clears its self. I know that for me I am damned horney all the time (even when I am flushing). I know that you should always use a condom whenever you are with your partner, and I know that there are some guys that do like having sex with women at that time of month too (or it just doesn't matter so long as they are getting it). But I was wondering about using toys at that time of the month. Are there any concerns with that too? Should you be extra clean with everything (am compulsive about how clean everything is already), should you use anything extra from the normal, soaps, cleaners, or alcohol? Is it okay to play in the shower - should you be concerned with using anything internally at that time of the month - I mean after you have already washed and rinsed off and you just want to play? Kinda like getting clean inside and out. I know that is the last place that I want to have any type of infection or other problem. Does anyone have any advice, suggestions, or knowledge on this subject? I really appreciate any input.

I wanted to thank both of you Mikayla and Howard. I really appreciate your feedback on this. I am very happy to know that I have a talent too. LOL - I am even sharing this posting online right now with a certain someone - and he is happy to know this too. He can't wait until we can share this together. So I do thank you very much. I have seen your responses to many of the posts and I appreciate that you took the time to share your knowledge of this with me. I really do want to perfect this too. I know that I need to exercise and I must get some books on this. I am really excited about putting this thru a real workout. I know knowledge is power, and this will really blow my mind and his - he he he he. Knowledge is fun too. Once again, and from all of your posts & replies that I have read - thank you. Your insights and experiences that you share are greatly appreciated.

This may seem like a strange question, so please bear with me. I realize that there are a lot of muscles involed when having sex, abdominal and all. I was wondering about the vaginal muscles in particular. I know that I tend to tighten and relax the abdominal muscles while having sex, but I also feel as though I am using vaginal muscles as well. I always have known about doing this, but I never experimented until just lately. I actually tried "flexing" those muscles while I was masturbating and found that I was able to hold and move my vibrator while it was in me. I actually had the muscles tightened up during an orgasam and shot the vibrator out - unintentionally. I guess my question if anyone can answer it is: How bad is it that these "muscles" as I am referring to them flex during sex? I am kind of afraid of this happening on its own again, I mean sex is relaxing, but tightening up like that worries me if it could harm me or my partner. More to the point, if I tightened up on a toy enough to shoot it out - how bad is it if I actually have that happen again while having a partner in me - could it hurt him or me or both?

Since I am not in a relationship right now that includes sex, I tend to masturbate daily. I generally will do it before I go to bed, what a way to relax my way to sleep. I found that if I have had an especially stressful day and I just want to get some sleep, sometimes I can't, so the relaxation that it brings puts me right out. But there are times when I just feel like feeling good at anytime during the day, so why not - that's my feeling. I do use toys mostly because of the control that I get instead of using just my fingers, not to mention that I like to keep clean, and I have always hated when my hands feel dirty, so as for fingers - use them rarely, but still do. I am happy to know that I am not the only one that does this more often than just once or twice a week. But I know that if I was in a sexual relationship right now, my toys would get a lot less of a work out (and I'd certainly save money on batteries).

I have to say that NO it is not okay for you to have a girlfriend on the side. If you are married then you need to address what the real problem is. If you say that you are looking for a partner to replace your wife for sex, why are you still married? Maybe I am old fashioned, but I believe that sex is an important part of a healthy marriage. If you argue that you are together because you have children, I understand that it can be difficult, but what type of marriage are you showing your children if you & your wife cannot share that closeness that comes when you give yourself to another person completely. My mom explained to me when I was a teen that my father made love to her by just bringing her morning cup of coffee. To me it is the little things that you do that also make the sexual part of a marriage work, a touch, a look, a gesture. If you are not having sex and are looking for it elsewhere, what other signs are you not sending out? Children are not totally naive, they know when things aren't "right" between their parents. I can say that I met someone in a chat room, he was very nice, and quite handsome. We did chat quite a few times and he even broached the subject of meeting. I was quite charmed by him, but when I found out that he was married, the point was moot. Eventhough I was very attracted to him, I would not want to be the "other woman," even if his married sex life, as he said, was non-existent for a while. It would not be fair to myself, his wife, nor to his family. I am sure that there are plenty of people out there that have no problem with being the person on the side. But as for me - a vow is a vow, and if you aren't happy at home, then you need to leave. Why stay married if you aren't really happy?

Now I don't feel so bad. I too have killed a rabbit, the rotation died. Now it sits lonely in the drawer, it may get some use again sometime, but as for now - dead. I have also killed two other toys - just thru masturbation, while lying on my back - a clit stimulator and a vibrator - both from over use, I guess, but they were the first two toys I bought and now my assortment allows me to keep them from burning out. I do go for a long time and I have had to remove my favorite toy because it has become too hot, and I don't want to kill it. I guess I can add a question to this to - Has anyone had a toy feel like it is overheating?? Is it me is it the toy - or both?

Okay, I must agree that I do have a difficult time parting with my money, but when you really think about it, aren't you worth a bit too. I can say that I do stay in the middle ground on this, I have yet to spend over $100 on one toy alone, but on my last "shopping spree" I spent around $300. I went into the shop with a few things in mind, but I did get a bit carried away, and when I got home - boy was I happy. I think that if you will spend $100 on an outfit, or a piece of jewelry that will make you feel good, why not a toy. Yeah, sure, you can't always show it off to people, but it makes you feel good too doesn't it? Right now I am considering the anal toys, this will take me sometime to decide on, since it is a newer topic for my thoughts. I might actually have the patience to wait to order something here, unlike my usual impatience and "go out and get it done" attitude. I do check out toys online first - to get an idea of what piques my interest, and to figure out if I really want to spend the money, but when my mind is set, I want what I want, when I want it (usually right away - lol). But back to the real topic, I feel that the prices on toys aren't all that bad. Actually when I first decided to start looking at and purchasing toys I was surprised at how inexpensive most are. I was perpared to spend more money my first time shopping, and ultimately spent a lot less. So my final thought is: if you are really interested in anything in particular, save up if you have to, you will more than likely be happy that you did, just like any other "traditional" purchase you would make.

Okay, I do have quite a few toys now, so I am not so new as to what is pleases me. I have found out a lot about myself through experimentation. I guess I may be lucky to know that I do have multiple orgasams (and have burned out the motors on a few toys in the process), I do get exceedingly wet and have had some very strong orgasams where I thought that I would pass out from pleasure. I have found that multiple toys work best for me - the combos don't seem to do as well. It was suggested that I should try anal penetration too. I have never thought of the backdoor approach, but the more I have learned about myself through my play, I am very interested in trying it. I have tried some, but I am kind of scared as to the safest way to approach this. I do have a partner that is willing to assist me, but I think I need to start off slowly (and with something less endowed). I have tried stimulating the anus externally, and have only slightly tried penetration because of my fears. I must admit that I do enjoy sex a lot - and now, what before seemed taboo is actually quite appealing to me, and I am becoming more open to try just about anything. Are there any suggestions for me. I would like to "prepare" myself for the "real thing" so that the experience will be more enjoyable than painful. I do not want to ruin the moment when we are together. And also, what if anything, do I need to do prior to the experience, and what would be best for lubrication.