meanderson18

First, I would like to thank Howard for his response to my question, it definitely made things a lot clearer! But to Mikayla, you missed the point of my post. I don't want you to psycho-babble me about mind blocks, I want you to be respectful of women's reasons for not liking things rather than calling them appalling and irrational as you just did one more time. Go ahead and tell women how wonderful swallowing can be for both partners and how the experience can be enhanced (that's great!) but please don't disregard those of us who don't like it because you don't feel our reasons are good enough. If you say you respect women's right to choose, then also respect women's reasons for those choices, otherwise you're just paying it lip-service. Laugh all you want at my responses but know that it has caused you the loss of one reader/member. P.S. I have a bachelor's degree in psychology...poor attempts at behavior analysis don't fool me

My reasons for not swallowing are simple…I don’t like it…now find me a man who squirts chocolate and I’ll suck him off every day. I’m not a sexually repressed person by any stretch of the imagination. I come from a generation that is fully accepting of oral sex, in fact, it is practically a right of passage. Nothing about what Bill Clinton did even surprised me. I don’t look down on women who like to swallow (aka: I don’t think I’m better or purer than them). If they enjoy it, great for them! It’s just not my cup of tea, and I don’t think I should be made to feel inadequate because of that or that I’m not being honest (or rational/sensible) about my reasoning. Why isn’t it ok for a woman to just say, “I don’t like the taste” or “I don’t like the feeling in my mouth”? Everyone has things about sex that they don’t like because they don’t feel good for them or they don’t turn them on. What I really don’t get (and I hope someone here will explain) is why swallowing is such a bid deal anyway? What is it about a woman's swallowing cum (or cumming on a woman’s face) that turns men on so much? What is the mystique? It doesn’t add any extra physical sensation for the man (ie: like anal stimulation would), so it’s not that it just feels good. It has to be more of a psychological effect. Can someone explain??

No, I can't think of any reasons why it would be bad to cum during anal sex. As long as you are being careful and using enough lubrication, you shouldn't hurt her at all or cause any infections. Of course, always be sure to get yourself and your partner checked for STD's. The only thing I caution you against is going straight from anal to vaginal sex unless using fresh condoms, otherwise, you CAN unintentionally cause a vaginal infection (going from vaginal to anal though is OK). So, have fun!

I love pulp in orange juice the best, but I hate to swallow, in fact, I hate to have semen in my mouth (or on my face) period. Sorry, I just don't like warm, slimy, salty tasting things in my mouth, especially when I know they are wriggling around with their little tails trying to find something to penetrate. It kind of ranks right up there with swallowing a goldfish for me. It took me a long time just to adjust to precum when giving oral sex. Luckily my husband understands and respects my strange nuances (and I have many). Of course, none of this means that I don't enjoy giving oral sex, I love it, I just only love it up to a point... Now, if other people feel differently about that, great. If something gives you pleasure, go for it (as long as it doesn't hurt someone else). *EDIT* After going back and reading this discussion more thoroughly from the very beginning, I frankly feel very offended by many of the assumptions made...not to pick on anyone in particular but these types of things were repeated a lot: "I agree - it should be lady's choice - however, my only problem in the whole realm of "spit or swallow" is some of the - IN MY OPINION - irrational reasons to spit. 1) It tastes bad - OK, does cum taste like chocolate? No, but it could! Use Sex Tarts lube, chocolate sauce, or anything else to spice up the BJ and the cum will taste better! Or, encourage your man to eat some sugar and cinamon and he will taste better from the INSIDE out. Tasting bad, IMO, should not be a reason not to swallow. 2) Texture - there is not really a "texture" with cum - if your man's cum is really chunky, I woud be looking into that! I have seen A LOT of cum, and have never seen cum that is much more than of a creamy substance. There are ways to get around this too - if your man ejacualtes before (masturbates) then he will have less cum for you to swallow during the BJ stage. The bad point, he will last LONGER, so your jaw may ache! 3) I WILL GAG - oh my favorite! What is that addage - anything worth doing is worth doing right! Take the time to learn how to do it so you won't gag! Read "Tickle His Pickle" by Sadie Alison, figure out how to make oral sex a treat for YOU and a treat for HIM. You won't gag when you swallow if you look at it as a pleasure thing." You may think that I'm being closed-minded about not wanting to swallow, but you are likewise being closed-minded in "picking on" the reasons many women give for not wanting to swallow. It's a personal choice that I, and other women, have every right to make without having to have our reasons dissected. I resent that you are unable to see not liking the taste, texture, or gagging as reasonable reasons (NOT EXCUSES) for not swallowing. Are reasons for not liking pulp orange juice "irrational"? I imagine they are very similar to some of the reasons given for not liking cum. I think everyone here has a right to have their preferences respected and not to feel that there is something wrong or "appauling" with them for feeling uncomfortable with something. To me, that defeats the purpose of this forum, which is helping people to feel comfortable with their sexuality, whether it be their likes or dislikes. Beyond that, I appreciate the advice that has been given to people who do want to try it but want to minimize some of the "unpleasant" aspects (ie: pineapple juice, pre-ejaculating, etc). I love the advice given on this forum and the openness to the less mainstream aspects of sexuality. (In case anyone has wondered, yes, I have tried swallowing, so I legitimately don't like it personally. I did only try it once, but so what? I only had to try salami or summer sausage once to know I don't like those either. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!)

My husband loves intimacy during sex and felt that doggy was too degrading to women and so didn't want to try it. I didn't push it but instead asked for spooning. He really liked that. Then he asked to try penetration from behind where we're both standing up but both slightly bent forward (definitely try massaging her breasts while doing this too--feels great!). This has great intimacy potential. He can penetrate me from behind while also holding me. Well...once he found out how good that felt, he quickly wanted to try traditional doggy style and now we're both hooked. I think starting out in the more "intimate" positions really helped him to adjust to the idea. We often still start out in very intimate positions but then switch to more penetrative positions once things get hot and heavy. Once my husband saw how much pleasure doggy gave me, he changed his mind about it being degrading. He had thought that doggy was really only pleasurable for men and didn't think it had much potential for women. Boy was he wrong! What doggy feels like for a woman...Well, for me personally, it's really intense. I love deep, hard thrusts and this is definitely the best way to achieve that. I get really big orgasms from it. I also appreciate that I am better able to control the thrusting myself by moving my body in unison with his or slamming backwards really hard.

Yes, you can get STD's from oral sex! Always be safe and use condoms and dental dams. It's not worth getting an incurable diseases from unprotected sex. Aside from the unpleasant side symptoms of STD's such as open sores, warts, discharge, etc, there's also the dangers of infertility, cancer (HPV infections account for >90% of cervical cancers), and even death (think AIDS). Some STD's can even be passed to your child during child birth (chlaymdia in the eyes of new borns can cause blindness). Safe sex is always the best sex because you don't have to worry later on. Sex education is really hit or miss these days. It depends on the state, the school, and the parents. States with abstinence only education won't even teach conception and/or barrior methods unless they are pointing out how "ineffective" they are. Money is also a big issue. Rural school districts often don't have the funding necessary to do extensive sex education and often miss out. But the biggest barrier is probably parents. Many simply do not want their kids being taught sound, scientifically accurate information in schools but are perfectly content to let their kids learn about sex on television and in the movies. They fear that teaching kids about sex will be giving them "permission" to have sex. However, sound scientific research has shown over and over that comprehensive sex education increases safe sex among teens but does not increase rates of teen sex overall. The irony is that kids are surrounded by sex everyday that never shows partners having open dialoge about safe sex, std's, pregnancy, preferences, boudaries, etc. They learn about sex from music videos and The OC. It simply does not make sense. I feel bad for these kids--they really are being cheated.

My husband and I have always had sex during my period (we just leave out oral for me). My orgasms are more intense and I'm more likely to have more multiples.

Hell yeah! Since being married I've really realized that I want to eat another girl but being married I would never act on it (I love my husband dearly and he gives me so much pleasure). If I weren't married I would totally go for it and a threesome (any combos FFF, FFM, MFF). My husband and I have talked about it and a threesome is something we both fantasize about and we watch videos with threesomes (super sexy watching porno with your lover). But unless we could clone one another, we are strictly monogamous .

My husband LOVES it and I LOVE that he loves it.

I demand a shower first. I'm a clean freak! If you're really concerned about making sure things are super clean, then offer to suds him up yourself. It's extremely arousing for him and very comforting for you (you KNOW he'll be clean then!). Another thing that really helped is when we started giving simultanous oral sex. Once he starts sucking on my clit I'm driven into ecstasy and just gobble him up. If you're worried about a gag reflex, I also suggest holding the base of his penis firmly with your hand so that it stops your mouth before going too far down the shaft. A little bit of chocolate (or other tasty treat) on his penis is great also. I have to say that I honestly love giving my husband oral sex now even though I was really hesitant at first. Just take it slow, be creative, and make sure to focus on your enjoyment too.

My husband and I just ordered our first harnass so that I can give him anal sex (it hasn't arrived quite yet). I have to say that I was really hesitant about it too, but we always try to do try something the other wants at least once before definitely deciding against it. If we decide we don't like it, then no hard feelings. One night when my husband was at work I decided to do a little research on the internet of my own to see what it was all about... OMG, once I saw what we could all do and read about how explosive the orgasms for him could be I was definitely ready to give it a try. The next thing I decided to do was to look for a comfortable and affordable harness. As soon as I found the one that had an internal dildo attachment so that I could be penetrated at the same time I was sold! A good info site that I found explaining strap-on's was: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strap-on_harness One other thing I can suggest is to offer a trade...agree to indulge a secret fantasy of hers if she'll indulge yours...it's hard to resist. Good luck!