blushNlez21

It sounds to me you want to be single. So be single. Have fun and be young. That is what I plan on doing for a while at least. I just got out of a relationship, and now I like this guy, but I've made it clear that I'm just looking for dating, hanging out, and a little fun. But nothing that's going to tie either of us down. So if you aproach this guy your talking about, just let him know what you want/don't want. Hope everything works out for the best. Keep us posted. Jess

Ok. So things with Terrance and I have gotten better. He said he doesn't want a relationship right now for a couple of reasons. For example one of them is he lives about an hour and a half away b/c he's going to college full time. (big plus he's in college) I understand that 100% and support him. I told him that maybe he misunderstood what I was getting at with him. I explained to him that I wasn't looking to tie him down in a relationship. Nor did I want friends with benifets. I just merely wanted someone I could "date" (you know when he's in town on the weekends), hang out with. And just have fun with. And now we are on a better understanding of everything. He said that sounded great to him. Besides I'm not ready for another relationship right now either. I have to heal from Leisa. Although we have gotten much better. I told her that within the next month and a half, I'd be moving out. She supported me 110% and said it would probably be the best way to preserve our friendship. So I'm looking into renting a house with a good friend of mine, and her hubby. Which turns out this friend is Leisa's younger sister. And this guy David would also be living with us. 3BR house, 2B and it's only like a 5 year old house. New carpet, all appliances, and the guy renting out is even leaving his living room furniture. So that is what I've been up to. Thank you all for keeping me sane. And just listening!! Jess

Ok so it's clear now that I'm not having any luck with Terrance. Am I doing something wrong. Since that night we made out all over his bed, he's kinda been stand offish. We never had our date, in fact I saw him for the first time since we made out on Sunday. The day before his birthday. And we were both at this party for our friend Kourt, who was turning 21 a day before him, and when I was about to leave he was outside, and I kissed him and he made a weird face. Now his best friend is telling me he's just skeptic. What does that mean? and then I apologized for kissing him, and all he said was "nah it was cool, don't worry about it." ??????CONFUSED?????? But I don't know. I'm so lost. I know my breathe didn't smell bad. So why is he being so shy? ~lost~

I would make it a coffee house date. Those are very chilled and you can have good conversation there. Plus if you stick around, you might get a show with music or poetry. It's a comfortable atmospere so it would be nice. Jess

Ok, it's not that I'm worried entirely about making Leisa jealous, it's more of me being ready. I'm not over her, I just don't want Terrance to be the rebound guy. I really like him, and don't want to hurt him, nor do I want to get hurt again. He's away right now for the Airforce Reserves. He gets back on the 6th. I happen to be off that sunday night, which I'm NEVER off on sundays. But I told him that if he wanted to hang out we could. He offered dinner and a movie, but I kinda don't want to because like you said Whiskey, it's expensive these days. And I don't get paid for another week!!! I know he offered, but until we are actually a couple, shouldn't I pay my own way?? But anyway, I was going to offer the alternative of maybe renting a movie and watching it at his house or something. I dunno?!? But on the other note. I've known Terrence for little over a year now, and I know plenty about him. He's only been with three girls EVER!! He has one little boy. Cute as hell, (looks like his dddy) and he's about 4 years old. Just had a birthday. But Terrance takes him every other weekend and every chance he gets. I love that about him. He's such an active father. He even through him a birthday party like 2 weeks early cause he wasn't going to be able to see him for his birthday. Isn't that sweet. Terrance and I have already talked about sex a little bit. Like favorite positions...etc... and he does use protection after he had his little boy. Said he can't take on another child right now, but in the future would like more. I told him if we do plan on having sex I would go to the clinic and get on plan parenthood. Every little bit helps!! But anyway, thanks for listening everyone!! Jess

Not sure how all this works. But me and my guy "friend" Terrance are hitting it off pretty well. I hung out with him and everything was going smoothly. I kinda set myself up, we almost had sex, but I told him that I just wasn't ready to make that step. Don't get me wrong, I like him, but 1. I just got out of an odd relationship, and 2. He's a guy. lol I mean, I've slept with guys before, it's just been a while and I'm nervous. But he was ok with waiting...which made me think, wow, maybe he actually does like me. I asked him what qualities he looks for in a girl. And his reply was " I don't want to tell you b/c I'm affraid you'll change who you are, and you shouldn't change who you are for no one. " So then I asked him if I at least had SOME of the qualities he looks for, and which ones. They were all pretty flattering. But my favorite one is he want's a girl who goes to school (which I do) and he said it would be nice to date someone he doesn't have to badger to do so. I have to admit though, I'm not sure what to do. Do i ask him out on a date? Or wait for him to come to me? And his bday is coming up, the big 21 like I just had, what should I get him as a gift to surprise him? Oh and did I mention my ex is VERY VERY jealous? But I'm trying not to rub it in. that's just wrong. But anyway, just checking in with you guys. Input is always needed!! jess

Thank you for the Birthday Wishes, Whiskey!! 21 doesn't feel that different but then, I guess it's just another year. I'm not a BIG drinker, but it's fun when I'm in the mood. But your right about everything. I can't make major choices without scanning every option first. But I'm just going to take it one day at a time. Me and my Ex still have our "moments" but we keep them to a min. b/c we know it's not going to work. But I'm doing a lot better. Thank you again. Jess

I'd have to say it all started with a stressful day. Leisa, at the time my g/f, was having a horible year with a lot going on. This particular day, me and her 16 year old son were fighting all day, and finally when she took him and his brother to guitar lessons, I started to prepare. I first drawn her a bath. Then bathed her myself, candles everywhere. At this point I was just trying to make up for my part of the stress by trying to relax her. But I think it just majorly turned her on. She went towards her bedroom to find some clothes I assume, but I quickly came up behind her and blind folded her with one of her husbands good ties. I ate her out till she came all over my face. Then I took the tie off of her eyes, and told her, "Teach me Baby, teach me everything". And that got her even more fired up. She ate me out so long I lost count of how many times I came, then we grinded against eachother and did a count to 5 and came at the same time for the finale. *all I was trying to do was make her relax* Who would have thought!!?

The Sexiest Accessory's on a woman. Pearls YES!! Pair them up with heels and jeans that dip in the front...(low rise) Thats best. Throw in a naval ring, nice tan, classy make-up with a natural glow but make the eyes stand out, and you have almost got the perfect woman. Add confidence, pedicure, and make her a red head, and you have my ex girlfriend. lol She still get's me going!!

Well, I'm just confused all the way around. I say I'm a lesbian, and everyone thinks I'm too young to know that for sure. I'm beginning to think that they are right. Back around Christmas, I was hanging out with my friend and her hubby, and there guy friend Terrance. I was attracted to him then. But never admitted to it. Is it possible I could be bi? And don't worry, I'm not looking for a new relationship right away. I was just curious on how I would meet girls...lol. But I don't know if I want to be with a girl or not. Maybe when the time is right, I'll try a guy. But nothing for a couple of months at least. Oh and I am employed. I have two jobs. So I can't possibly work more. I just don't get paid a lot. And I have bills to pay. But maybe my ex will let me slack off on Rent with her for a while so I can start saving for my own place. I mean, she never asked me to pay rent to begin with, I just did it for the responsibility. My own choice. And isn't it dangerous to just move in with someone who needs a roomate? I mean, that would be weird, to me. But I might have a plan for that situation too. My good friend Kerry and her Hubby just bought a 4 bedroom house. For just the two of them. About 5 miles from my mom. Maybe she'd let me rent a room from them. I'm meeting her for lunch to talk about it tomarrow. Wish me luck!! And thanks for the help.

I was very young when I became curious of my body. I think possibly 4 or 5 years old...is that odd. And I used to dry hump just about everything in my room, stuffed animals, wadded up clothes, I'd even put my brothers baseballs under a pillow and grind away. But then I discovered my grandfathers neck/back massager. And that was it for me. I never turned back!! lmao

Yeah, maybe I should move out. But I just can't. I don't have money to live on my own. And don't have many friends to turn to to get a place with. So I'm just going to have to sit around, and pray that the hell hole I'm in can't possibly torture me more. It seems since we broke up, she's even more beautiful. And everything about her makes me want her even more. It's not fair. I guess I brought this upon myself. But in the beginning I never thought I'd fall for her, that I'd want to fulfill her every need. And the worst part about it, is when I do decide to move on, I don't know where to meet girls who are interested in girls. It sucks, b/c you can't just go up to a girl and ask for her number. What if she's straight...then I get humiliated. I'm just so lonely right now. And no one is here to comfort me. I just hurt. My heart literally feels like it's going to pound out of my chest!!! I'm sorry for the sad story. But this is my first love, and I feel that I'm never going to be able to have that again. I just want her back!!

Yes, I know. It sucks. And I know now, thank you though for your listening. Sometimes I feel all alone and have no one to talk to. That is why I joined tootimid. I need some kind of relief. But now I'm just mad at her. Is this normal? Am I supposed to go through times when I just want to cry, to being spiteful and want revenge. I want to go on a date with one of my friends, just to piss her off. I know that is childish, so I'm not going to do it. I just feel so betrayed. And used. And sad. And she acts as if nothing has happened between us. And did I mention I have no where to go. I live with her and her family, and have no way out. So I see her everyday, knowing I can't have her anymore. And it kills me. I need to get a roomate and get an apartment. UGH. Frustration. Jess

First I have to applaud your choice. I just recently crashed and burned with that similar experience...in fact, I hope someone helps me with my situation. But don't do that to your friend. I was that friend, now I'm in love with her, she's in love with me, and I don't get her, because she feels it's morally wrong. I mean, I understand the guilt. But she isn't even IN love with her hubby anymore. So trust me....just don't go there. *sigh*

Ok so I'm totally in love with my girlfriend. I'm soon to be 21 and she is soon to be 40. Now I'm completely aware of our age jump. But that is the least of my concerns. (did I mention I'm a lesbian?) The fact of the matter is, she's married. I love her husband to death...in a non sexual way. But our relationship goes in a circle. Kinda like hot warm cold then HOT again. It's like stressful to be together b/c I'm always a big secret. We live in a big Chrisian town, and everyone would think it's wrong and her grandparents would just feak. But living in secret where's ME down. I always want to do lil momento's like going to a movie, or cuddling on the couch, or kiss whenever I want w/o looking behind every corner first. She has two boys 16, and 13. Reason for hiding in our own house. Yes I live with them. And a controlling husband. And yes to all he's aware of me and her. But he doesn't like us to do anything, ANYTHING w/o him. Not go on a date, not have sex, everything has to be including him. And I feel that I should have some time with her to myself. At least once a week. Or a month even would make me happy. Just a day to pamper her. (which I love to do) But just recently we decided to break up. B/c it's not fair to me, I'm never going to be happy unless I get my equal share of her to myself. but it was mutual. But even though we aren't together together, we still kiss and cudle, (when we can) and live together. Is there any hope to end this circle? I mean, we are supposed to be over for good this time, but we are BOTH in love with eachother. What am I supposed to do?! thanks to all that can help me or just try...