i have another view of the adoption situation. my mom put my sister up, not so much by her choice but by that of her parents. she was 21, unmarried and living with her parents. she worked yes, and knew who the father was and what not, but my grandparents were dead set on her not screwing up there name (there old school southern, no marriage no baby type thing). so my mom put her up. she came back into the picture the day before my 12th birthday, almost 9 years ago. i can tell you from first hand experience the hell its reaked on my mom. not that my spaz for brains sister came back, but the fact that when she did come back, she told my mom horrible things. her adoptive parents were by no means saints. they were at the time adopting "special" cases. kids who had been abused or born with issues (my sister was born with seizures, she was left in the birth canal to long). her parents were nuts, however her oldest son is now living with them. adoption is an amazing option, however RESEARCH the parents. make sure they check out. my sisters adoptive parents ended up have to relinquish rights to one of their adoptive children because he was so violent, and he wasn't stable and had tried to kill them and my nephew. my sister has a sophmore education as well, did not get her ged, and works in the front office of her best friends father in laws bussiness. her boyfriend is a drug addict who has a wife and son in iowa and has an alias and a wrap sheet a mile long, oh and not to mention the fact that her, her flea bag boyfriend, and her two younger children live in a hotel. my sister goes through phases were she blames my mom for the way she is, to even blaming me for the way she is. so please...whatever you do. if you do go with adoption, make sure the family checks out. dont force her to make a decision. she has option, the state can help, theres adoption, theres even open adoptions. a friend of mine in highschool did that and is now working on getting her masters in education but is very close with her daughter and her adoptive parents. they just call her auntie. so make sure she understands everything. i dont talk to my grandparents and neither does my sister, because they disowned both of us. they disowned my sister because they lent her money that she never paid them bck, and they disowned me because i didnt spend every undivided moment with them during my graduation (mind you my parents were getting divorced, my home was being sold, i was graduating, working full time, and seeing all my friends move away). so that shows you how unstabble my grandparents are. just be understanding, and firm, at the same time. i really hope that helps give ya perspective on things from a different angle. good luck!