ShyBear

A guy I was dating sometime back mentioned to me that he wanted me to use toy to anally on him. I was really surprised by this...I had no idea that straight guys liked this...That is how I got started on this forum...Asking about it....lol. I have learned so much here. I have even tried anal again myself after practicing on myself with a toy I purchased from this site...I am so glad I did...my new BF is soooooo fantastic with it...I cannot get enough of him....lol.

When I was younger, I spent time imagining what my wedding would look like from designing my wedding gown to dressing my groom. I knew how many children I would have and had them all named. I even had names picked should I have twins...girls, boys and girl/boy sets. Then I became a teenager and realized being the oldest of 5 was no picnic. I decided I had done enough taking care of babies for one lifetime....There is 15 years between the youngest and me. Therefore I decided I was not having kids...ever!!! I now have 3 beautiful kids I cannot imagine every being without, and I did not have my dream wedding...and I am divorced. Things do not always happen as we dream them so if you are not dreaming about a wedding...don't worry...it probably would not happen as you dreamed it anyway and you are less likely to be disappointed when and if you do get married. Take your time and do your thing...you know what is right for you.

Spiderqueen, I have to tell ya...My guy took me out for Spanish food the other night....I love it alot...I think he had rice, beans and chicken too....lol...I know I had sex with him that night like never before...so since you mentioned that, I am thinking it is either that combination of food, or....whatever spices used to cook it... I am glad you had a most awesome night....those are the kinds of nights that will keep you smiling all week and keeps your co-workers asking you "what are you grinning about?" LOL! I hope you have more of those nights!

For me...it is biker gear...my guy showed up one day with his skullcap/bandanan tied over his head, his leather jacket and his leather chaps...I was like WOW!!!! Yum-my!!! I told him later that I would love to see him in those leather chaps...and only the leather chaps...he is soooo sexy on when he is on riding on his motorcycle...I love riding on the back behind him...it is very easy to take advantage of my position...lol. I so wanna have sex on the motorcycle...lol. He has a work uniform that he looks hot in but we can't use that...it would be too much like work...lol. That would take all the fun out of it!!! Around here, I think our local police officers (some of them) look freaking sexy in there uniforms too...

OMG! I thought you were saying this was you...LOL! I know people who are like that and would say things like this...I however, am the person who sits back and laughs at it...even though I know its so so wrong....I just can't help it. Unless it is cruel of course. Then I don't think it is funny at all. Keep the funnies coming...

Wow, I did not know there even was such a site...I guess people think that because they are hidden behind a animated personna they can get away with quite alot. And true too, how do you know they are giving you their correct information online....it is amazing what people can get away with...

Oh, Tyger!!! You didn't???? LMAO!!! And just what did he respond to that? That is too funny! I am sorry but had I been with you I probably would have been lmao in the seat next you the minute you said that. I am sure he was probably Grumpy then...lol. Great Story!

Ok well, not as many as you guys but there is in the lake while swimming, drivers side of the pick-up with him standing outside, on a picnic table in the park, in the Honda at the park, in a Mustang GT with the T-Tops off...laying some strangers backyard where we stopped on our way home from a ball game (high school)...I can't think of any others...There is one I am dying to try....just have to figure out where to do it...motorcyles are tricky in broad daylight...and in the city...lol.

maggie4, I was not sure about trying anal again after a couple bad experiences with it, but after reading the articles on here and realizing what a sensitive and thoughtful lover my guy is...I decided to try it with him...and it was my idea. Let me tell ya....I am SOOOOOO glad I did. It is so amazing. I really thought I was way to small in that area and just not built for it. What it was is I was just not having it done the right way by someone who takes the time to listen to how I am feeling about the whole thing. My guy worries he is going to hurt me sometimes and I have to tell him that I will let him know if that happens...as long as you two are communicating with each other and you are using plenty of lube....on him and you....you should be fine...just go slow and at YOUR pace...and remember to relax....if you tense up it is going to make it harder for him to enter you. Just imagine how good it is going to feel once he is inside you and moving...that should help you relax. Trust me...it is going to feel really good for him as well...You will really, really enjoy the experience.... Good Luck!!!

My guy knows I am willing to try anything and everying but that. I told him I am very open-minded but when it comes to having sex with another woman...then my mind is closed. I just don't not feel that type of thing is for me. I am not one who would want to share my man with another woman and I am not into having sex with other women myself. When I told him this he was fine with it...he said he was interest in only pleasing one woman and that was me and there was no worries in disappointing him in this area. If this is something that you want to do, make sure you have weighed all the possible "side-effects" before you do it. How are you going to feel if you hubby decides he wants to do more than watch? Are you going to be comfortable with having him and another woman touching each other/having sex? What if he wants to make this a regular thing? Would you be able to do that? What he is great with the whole thing and you decide you didn't like it? What happens after then? Where do you go from there? These are all the things I decided I didn't like and didn't want to have to deal with. You have to decide if you can really, truely, deep down inside, handle them and be good with them for yourself...not for him. You have to be able to live with yourself afterwards...Can you do that? These are the things to think about and decide. Good Luck! ShyBear

My guy and I recently had a "discussion" over this very topic. I don't care if he notices...he is human, same as me. If you see someone gorgeous or beautiful...how can you NOT notice, even if you are with your guy or gal. The problem arises when you just sit and stare at that person and forget you are with your guy or gal. To me that is disrespectful. You are with someone and that person should be getting your attention...not the person you do not know. As for comments...I would never put up with such comments...I am soooo glad you are not with that guy anymore. You deserve better than that. It is one thing to say "Wow, she's hot!!" But to continue on from there.....uh-uh...hell no! I was talking to my guy one night...and I mentioned this singer to him and he says "Oh, yeah her, yes, nice titties..." I was like, "yeah, whatever, anyway...." LOL....this was when we first started seeing each other...lol. But see, he did not take it further than that...and he wouldn't. If I said something about some guy, Like "Wow, look at the six pack or the pecs on him" he would not get offended....he would say..."oh, you like that?" that is all. I would say "yes, that is nice, but you know what....I think you are quite sexy too"...I would never make him feel that he is not good enough...Your guy should never have made you feel like that!!! I you find or have found someone who is worthy of you!

I have met many nice people on the internet...my current boyfriend I met online...we started out talking and getting to know one another first and then decided that, yeah, we would like to meet in person. After that we started talking more frequently online and seeing each other...but it was not without its problems...if you have read any of my recent posts you will see what I mean....however, after taking Howard's advice...things have gotten so much better...there is about 50 miles between us but not a huge obstical. We take turns making the drive. He can be a royal pain in the ass...but then again...so can I. I met another nice man on yahoo personals that I also talk too...he has been a really great friend...he has fabulous relationship potential as well...but....he and I have never been able to coordinate schedules more than once...and he lives even closer...go figure. I have many great friends that I have talk to for several years online via a messenger service that I have never even met because they all live in different states. I would love to meet all of them someday if I could...lol....Online dating has its ups and its downs...true...I met one guy that just told me so many different lies he was not able to keep them straight anymore and when I started telling him what the truth was he up and disappeared....lol. He then came back a month later and said he was away due to work and could not tell me...I was like whatever dude...believe what you need to in your fantasy world...So NO not all online meetings go well...but so far so good this time around...

Well, So far so good, he is really seeming to make a lot of effort this time around. Spending time with my kids, taking things I like into consideration more, trying to spend more time with me even if it means he comes to me. He even stepped out of HIS comfort zone and slept over. That is the first time that has happened. His excuse was always that he was just not ready...He is making himself completely available to me it seems like. I am still on guard though. I am completely prepared in case he decides to turn tail and run again. I hope he doesn't....he really is a great guy...but if he does...I am ready...and there won't be any coming back a third time. Thanks again for everything! ShyBear

krazikris, I was also interested by the fascination of anal sex and had tried it in the past with previous boyfriends. Unfortunately, they had no idea what they were doing and ended up making the whole experience miserable. I was thinking that it was just me and that maybe I was just way to small in that area to be able to enjoy it. I ended up having a one nighter with this guy many years ago and he made me so relaxed and comfortable that I let him try. It was amazing the difference. So I knew it could be done, but I was still afraid to let anyone else try. When I came to this site to get the toys my friend suggested, I started looking at anal toys. I thought well, if I can try it out myself, I can see what works for me and what doesn't, then I can know what to tell my guy if he wants to try...so that is what I did. The toy I bought, that I recommend to if you are just starting out, is the Vibrating Jelly Corkscrew. It is not too big, its starts small at the top and gets just a little bit bigger towars the base and you can adjust the amount of vibration. I really like it!!! I taught myself how to relax and not tense up as it is entering....I found that resistence to entering was a lot of my problem since that area is not used to anything entering, it is used to exiting so when you tense it is going to give that nature urge to push against. So relaxing is important. A few weeks ago I let my guy try anal sex with me using lube....lots and lots of lube....very important...even with the toys! It was fantastic!!!! He was so gentle and slow...Then this last weekend, since I had my period...I couldn't have sex so I told him why not try the anal again...so we did and OMG!!! It was incredible! I tell ya...practicing with the toy and teaching yourself what works really really helps, and I was able to tell him what felt right, and how slow to go or how fast to go...I have never been more comfortable with anyone having anal sex before...and it did not hurt in the least little bit. I am so glad I bought the toys...lol

I too am one of those people that remembers everything and is in control of everything drink...well, except maybe my tongue...it tends to move faster than my brain can process and thankfully has not gotten me in any trouble..lol. A friend of mine once was out with me drinking...we had our boyfriends with us....she got so drunk there she forgot she was with her boyfriend and began talking to some other guy...I had to go and remind her that her boyfriend was waiting on her and getting more pissed by the minute...she was like "oh no!!! _____ I forgot him!!!!" Then she was ready to cry, told the other man she was sorry but she had a boyfriend.....it was all really very funny. We both had to be to work at 6am the next day, she had the hangover, I didn't. She came in and said "Don't even say it!" LOL! It was funny. We had gone shot for shot and drink for drink and she said she could outdrink anyone...I guess she was wrong..lol. ShyBear

Hi _angel_!!! Don't feel bad....I was the same way....very much thinking that masturbation was bad and made myself feel guilty about it afterwards...I thought toys were just way to far out there until a friend of mine...who was a first for me in many ways...talked me into getting a couple...then while I was here...I add a couple of my own...lol. I have really loosened up on what I would do sexually because, even though mentally I have always said....wow...I want to have a more exciting sex life....physically I was like...no that is not appropriate...I am not supposed to touch myself, I am not supposed to enjoy this or that....well, guess what...it is ok too and found out that the guy really enjoys it too...I was amazed at all the stuff I read about on this site....I read and read and read before I posted anything as well, and then I posted because I had no one else to ask and these guys seemed like the experts...I am sooooo glad I did...I have gotten so much great advice here...you will too... Don't be afraid to ask anything and be as blunt as you please...there are no inhibitions here...So let your hair down, quick your shoes off and get comfy with the group...Everyone is GREAT here!!!! ShyBear!

I am not ashamed of where he is from...don't misunderstand...please...where he is from is fabulous and beautiful!!!! I just don't mention it because he is on my computer sometimes and I don't want him to stumble onto the forums here and realize I have been talking about him...I have given enough detail of our relationship in other posts that he could possibly figure it out anyway but if I mention here where he is from...lol. It would be a dead give away...I would like to avoid any possible relationship troubles I would not be able to fix with help from the forum... I am protecting my identity from him...not his from you...lol...does that make sense? If you want to know you can PM and I will tell you..lol ShyBear

There is nothing at all wrong with interracial relationships. I have dated Blacks, Puerto Ricans, Italians, and am currently dating a man from another country that I won't mention right now...but he is not English born American...and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!!!! My Mother raised us to be indifferent to such matters and to see beyond the outside of a person to the inside...I have always done that. BUT...for me to mention to her that I am dating, engaged to or marrying one of these guys, I hear...why can't you date a white guy....And I have to tell her...What does it matter...you taught us it didn't...then I hear why can't you date an American...And I have to tell her...MOM!!! HELLO!!!! He is an American!!! Well, I mean someone born here....Ummm, HE was born here!!!! It all gets very frustrating with her!!!! and most times I have to explain to her, if the guy is indeed white skinned, whether his nationality is or not that he is most likely whiter than she is....My mom is almost a 1/4 Native American....Yeah...one to talk right! Well, needless to say...no one else in my family feels this way and I do not allow it to color how I feel about anyone. I still look at people from the inside as far as race and nationality are concerned...I do not allow that to color my judgement...it does not matter to me in the least. As long as that person can make my kids happy and make me happy...that is all that matters to me....It should be all that matters to anyone...It is completely ridiculous that people allow a tiny little thing like skin color or place of origin to color there opinions of people...Just ridiculous....I am going to stop on that note or else I might keep going and say things I shouldn't...lol. ShyBear...not so shy on this subject of course!!!LOL!

Howard, Took your advice....gave him his space but rather than sitting home twiddling my thumbs waiting on him to decide what he was going to do, I decided to continue going out with my other male friends. I did not call him, text him, IM him, email him, or leave comments on his myspace...I didn't contact him at all, I let him contact me if he wanted to talk...I would hear from him every few days....when he was done talking I would say ok see ya. Well, weekend before this last one, I signed off of everything on my computer....I never ever do that unless I am away for the weekend. I went with a friend to the beach and hung out with another friend for the day and went to the movies with yet another friend.....no time for the computer basically...lol. Sunday evening on the way home from the beach my cell phone rings. It is him calling me. He NEVER EVER calls me...Always contacts me via IM because he has a hard time hearing over the phone. I didn't answer....I waited till later in the evening to call him back and asked what was up with him. I told him I went to the beach with a friend and right away he thought it was a "hot date" and I said no, just a friend. We began talking on the IM on the computer and talked for hours...he was like a whole different person suddenly...I think he realized that I was not going to sit here and wait for him to take his space and decide what he wants forever. I was actually going out having fun and there was a chance I would find someone else to replace him. He has been back to his old self, actually better!!!! Sweet again, leaving his IM open and available if I need him, answers texts and his phone....HE asked when I could see him again...I said I wasn't sure and he said he could drive up to see me...and he did...I am going to go see him this weekend...Taking things slow but I get the feeling he is more serious this time. I think he realizes I won't wait forever for him to make up his mind what he wants and if he wants me...he has to decide. Thanks for all the great advice!!! ShyBear

Thanks Tyger and Howard....Well, he was definitely cheated on...and from what he tells me it was over sex. The woman bluntly told him the other guy was giving her better sex than he could ever give her. I know that had to have been a massive blow to his ego. Especially to have someone you love tell you this. As far as Howard's suggestion of pointing out the other sex...we sort of already do that. He does that more than me. Sometimes I think he does it to see if I am going to get jealous. I don't take the bait of course...lol. I will either agree or disagree with him. Then if we are watching a movie for example and I see a good looking guy, I will say something like...Wow, He looked much better in such and such a movie....he is not as hot in this one. He will just laugh and say...I don't know..I don't notice those things... It does not bother him either. LOL. We are good there....I think. He has recently asked for more space and has backed off from talking as much...I think he is feeling nervous about getting close. He tells me he has feeling but he is scared of them and he needs time to work through them. He still talks to me, but I am thinking he is backing away. He said he does not want to "break up" but he needs room to evaluate. One of my friends thinks he is sincere it what he says and to just be patient but don't wait forever on him either. I appreciate all the advice and will put it to good use so long as my guy does not go running scared...lol. Thanks again. ShyBear!

Hi all, I have not been on in quite awhile. I have a new guy I have been seeing here recently. Moving pretty slowly this time around. Last guy I mentioned....LONG STORY!!!! Anyway, this fella is really sweet but he has some self esteem issues that I can tell have been brought on by previous relationships. I don't think he feels like he is "good enough" for me sexually but we do have sex. He is a very wonderful and giving partner...I don't know what was wrong with the women he was with before but there is nothing wrong with him. What else, other than tell him everytime we are done how wonderful it was, can I do to build his self esteem in that area? He also thinks that he would be a lousy boyfriend but given the option of moving on alone or having me around, he wants to have me around...I know he cares but I think he is scared that I am going to hurt him the way these other women have in the past. How do I convince him that I am not the same as these other women? We are not in the committed phase of the relationship yet except to the point that we have agreed that we have sex with no one but each other....in other words we are not officially "boyfriend/girlfriend" but dating and headed that direction. I needed help reassuring him that he can trust me not to hurt him...how do I do that? Any suggestions??? ShyBear

I used to see my ex pee all the time..it was never a turn on for me. I guess because he was so anal about cleaning the toilet and everything afterwards...at least he was clean..lol. I have never had an interest in being peed on or peeing on anyone, I will never find that a turn on. I think my children peeing on me during diaper change was enough adventure in that area. For those that like it, then more power to ya...may be I like something you don't...lol. Everyone has their things.

I find vampires extremely sexy as long as they aren't ripping your to shreds..lol. There is defnitely that dark, mysterious attraction. I don't wish to have my blood taken from me either but I do love to have my neck bit and nibbled on and I love to do the same. Nora Roberts did a book trilogy in which one of the main characters is a vampire and he is so dark and brooding and written so sexily you can't help but to be attracted to him. I could not put the books down...

Basically, what I took from that, funny as it was, is that if a man gives a woman pleasure in bed, then it turns her into a mindless, jealous, sex crazed female that will resort to toys to recapture the experience when the man is gone. Sounded to me like she was talking from major bad experience and not from the norm. She was very funny though the way she was talking. I thought she was the guest, not the host..lol.

Maybe its because the men out herding sheep get kinda lonely and use the sheep to um...keep them company ...lo.l So maybe when they come into the pubs they have something to help remind them of being out in the fields when they can't find a woman to go home with or have one to go home to... That is a funny story though. I find it amusing that they would sell blow up sheep rather than blow up women.