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How about something like, "Hey, I need some breathing room. Can you back-off with all the messages?" I'm not too familiar with Facebook, but can't you "un-add" someone. Aw, don't do that to the poor bastard; might as well spit in his eye and call him a "Big Loser." You may very well have to be a jerk toward him in the end, but don't call him a "nice guy."

Can't add much on the hair washing, but at one place I used to go, they would shave the back of your neck with warm shaving cream and a straight razor (every other place I've been to used an electric). That would always send chills up and down my spine and make me feel almost paralyzed, both from the sensation of it and the thought of being just a wrist-flick away from having my throat sliced. Especially with one particular girl in the shop who was pretty and had a cute smile. Sort of a feeling of powerlessness at her hands.

Do the worker bees think you are just plain angry, or an angel most of the time with a fire-hot temper? What about people outside of work, can you ask anyone for a second opinion on whether they think you are Mrs. Bitter or Mrs. Buttercup? How are you behind the wheel? Do you get mad at every jackass on the road and want to run them all into a ditch, or are you content to leave them be? If you get drunk, do you become a mellow, happy drunk, or do you get belligerent and have to pick a fight with everyone? When you get mad, do you turn green and get really big muscles that rip your clothes apart and go on a rampage barefoot and tear apart city blocks and then have no memory of it once you calm down? (Saw that in a movie once . . . ) Anyway, just some miscellaneous thoughts. I'm no head-shrinker, and have no idea if the answers have any true bearing on whether or not you are overly grouchy.

No cats on the bed during activities (they sure have rotten timing sometimes, though the main offender croaked a coupla' months back). No cats sitting on the pillows. Ever. Beyond that, no real rules. We both (wife; not cat) seem to have general agreement on what we like or don't like.

Nothing exotic. Either in bed or in the bathroom.

I thought it was Big Hands ==> Big Feet As for me, 10 1/2 shoe size and about 6 7/8 inches for Mr. Happy (could never quite get a 7-inch reading, not matter how I cheated with the yard stick).

About 15 to 20 years ago, several people from my office rotated taking trips out to this one place for work. A guy there seemed to take a liking to me, and spent a lot of my time out there hanging out with me. He was not effeminate or anything, and dopy naive me didn't think anything of it. Back home while telling one guy about my trip, he said (about the fellow who hung out with me), "You do realize he's gay, don't you?"

Wifie squirted last night for the first time. Cool . . .

A friend when I was a kid would recite: When the weather's hot and sticky that's no time to dunk your dickie. When the frost is on the pumpkin that's the time for dickie dunkin'. Now, I have always gotten way hornier in the hot, sticky, summer weather than when it starts cooling down in the fall and winter. When everyone else is hiding in air conditioning, I'm soaking in the heat and getting turned on by the humidity. When the weather cools down, I want to sleep more and bundle up and stay warm. When it's hot, I want to strip down and sweat and pork and have my skin stick to my wife's skin (or girlfriend's way back when, or fantasy girl's . . . ). Any thoughts?

If I don't shower every day I'll get pretty ripe, but up until about the 24-hour mark, the wife is turned on by my smells. Although if I've been doing heavy-duty activity, she prefers at least the undercarriage parts to be washed (like a washcloth wash). She never gets that stinky, even if she goes several days without a shower. Undercarriage she'll wash daily, especially if we're going to boink. Within all that, any smells she has I find a turn-on.

Agree with the others, you need to move out as soon as you can. Forget your spite; it's not gonna do your mental health any good, or change your mom. I don't have any insight on the whole mother-daughter dynamic, but it seems to me any time you put two people under the same roof, they're eventually gonna end up on each other's nerves to one degree or another. I've had my own roommates of one flavor or another for 23 years (I'm including the wife and kids and a couple of in-laws in there). I've seen best buds move in together, who would end up hating each other's guts for life after a couple of years as roommates. I regularly hear friends/co-workers gripe about their spouses (or roommates back when we were all single), about a lot of the same sorts of things that you describe between your mom and yourself. It seems close to universal. Of course when you're married, you've both got more of an interest in keeping the peace than when living roommates or parents. From a reader (signed-in as "dup") comment to a USATODAY article (www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-09-03-marriage-later-years_N.htm): " . . . marriage is very hard work. You bite your tongue, you swallow your pride, you accept things that you never thought you would. . . . " What you have to do to keep your marriage intact, you're gonna be a lot less willing to do to keep peace with a roommate, parent or otherwise. Not that every roomie is the roommate from hell, but I think some level of strife is the norm. My sister moved home after college and had trouble finding a decent job. I don't remember any big friction with my parents, but they still wanted her to move out. Same thing with me. And as soon as I did move out, they threw out my bed. I went from a cushy bed in a furnished room to sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag in a barren room, a suitcase, an alarm clock, and an old wood chair as my only furniture.

Sleep?

"You wonder how some people can live with themselves. there must be no inner voice at all that says "hey..............wait! This is wrong" " They probably don't see it as wrong. They're steeling from Big Corporation that rapes the land and screws and the people; they're just cheating a crooked company, and getting what is owed to them by the greedy capitalist pig-dog system (or some such rationalization). From the company's point of view, it makes better business sense to write-off a certain amount from shop-lifting then risk alienating and losing customers. (Your arguments about being the only fabric store in the area notwithstanding ) That $25 bolt probably only cost them five bucks, plus they get a tax write-off. And unless you get paid enough to worry about it, your just gonna pop a blood vessel in your own head, and nothing will change with the shoplifing. Was it Dirty Jobs? They followed a guy around a zoo whose job it was to clean up all the elephant and other animal poo. He used to have a job dealing with the public, and they asked him which job he prefered. It was cleaning manure, wiithout hesitation.

On a high school bus trip, while stopped at a red light, looked out the window and saw the driver of the car next to us with his pants off and wacking off. Couldn't believe my eyes, but the kids behind me were talking about it, so I knew I saw what I saw. And in the crowded men's room of the train station in Hoboken, NJ, during an evening rush hour, I took my spot along a row of urinals. In mid pee, I realized out the corner of my eye that the guy next to me was wacking off, and I felt like he was glaring at me out of the corner of his eye. I just wanted to finish and get the hell out of there as fast as I could. And the only other thing was hearing the rhythmic noise of a guy wacking off in a bathroom stall at my work. I kinda wanted to yell, "Do that at home!" just to bust his chops, but behaved myself.

Caught by me wife, sort of. She was asleep in bed next to me. I was tired and just wanted a very quick thing, didn't want to wake her up and go at it; even a quickie would have been to long. So I went at it solo. The rocking rhythm of the bed woke her up, but she was too tired to join in or even budge, and just watched. She told me about it the next morning.

"But if it does cause you concern, . . . " No; more curious than concerned. I haven't done the hangingn thing since early teens (figured out how to wack off instead). And the stress thing has waned alot over the years. The wet dreams have bcome very few and far between, again, with age. "In fact, your situation is so unusual, . . . " Haha, (really, that made me chuckle). Here I am half expecting an "oh, yeah, that's totally normal" answer, and get that instead. But before I saunter over to the oddball corner, one more thought: we've all heard reference to someone crapping or peeing in their pants from fright (maybe busting someone's chops about, I don't know, going on some roller coaster ride, or going on a plane trip when they are afraid of flying). I remember one time hanging out with some friends, busting one kid's chops over his reaction to some scary thing (all in good fun), and my one friend's sister chimed in with, "He's gonna cream his jeans." So I still have a little hope that there may be others like me . . .

I went back and asked my wife, "Why do you get tattoos? Are you trying to make a statement? Are you trying to draw attention to yourself." Her reply: "No. And no; they're covered most of the time anyway. I just like them." So much for my theory. Even though I'm not big on tattoos, I think it is silly that someone can't get certain jobs if they have tattoos showing. I don't see the big deal with them. I guess there are some folks who do have a problem with them. Suzy, on the Ivy, is there any way to work it so you can add to it and run it up your neck like you want after Air Force days are over? (Good luck in the AF!)

OK, so how common/normal are these 2 things: 1) Way back in elementary school, 2nd or 3rd grade, the class would march down the hall to the bathrooms at certain times of the day. The boys would go in, and many would climb all over the partition walls like monkeys. In doing this myself, I discovered that if I hung on the wall holding a pull-up position, I would get this pleasurable feeling. Discovered after puberty and goo started coming out of Mr. Happy that this was an orgasm. In high school gym class, if we did pull-ups, that feeling would start to build and I'd have to drop off the bar before my arms gave out or I'd have a mess in my shorts. 2) I have also found that being in a stressful situation can start that feeling building, and I have to work hard to relax myself to avoid an orgasm. This happened more when younger, but still happens once in a blue moon. In one high school chemistry class, we had a quiz. I filled a page solving some problem. Then realized I did it wrong and erased everything. Before I could rewrite anything the teacher started collecting papers. I started to stress out, that feeling began to build, and I ended up with an orgasm. I prayed no one would notice the damp spot in my jeans. The only other times this has happened has been while dreaming. I'd have a dream of some stressful thing, and sometimes end up with a wet dream from it; other times (and more the norm the last 10 or 15 years) I'd wake up before the orgasm. So am I an oddball, or is this stuff not so unheard of?

Reminds me a bit of that scene in "Jaws" where they're all telling about their scars As far as "Do guys like tattoos," just answering for myself, and bearing in mind that I'm married and not in the market to date anyone, and not counting out-of-control all-over-the-place or racist tattoos . . . I'm personally not big on tattoos. I would not get one. They seem to me to be something for someone to draw attention to him/herself or make a statement. I'm more of a quiet (except when yelling at the kids ), reserved, introverted sort who does not want to draw attention to myself. Do I like tattoos on girls? No strong preference either way. I guess they do tend to draw my eye more than a non-tattooed girl. Maybe there is a subtle subconcious notion that a girl with tattoos is a bit bad, and there is some desire (at least in fantasy land) to win over and tame the "bad girl." But tattoos are becoming more and more common, so that works to reduce any "tattoo = bad girl" connection. And especially with them being more common, any guy who would not date a girl because of them has gotta be more of a square than me. Now my wife, on the other hand, likes tattoos, and is always trying to talk me into one. When we were dating, she got a ring of Seuss charactes around one ankle, then after the first kid she got the kid's initials on the back base of her neck. Then another on her wrist. I think after that she went out with her friends one night and got her nose pierced; showed it to me the next morning. My reaction was a startled and shocked, "What the hell did you do that for?" Then she got another tattoo on her back near one shoulder. And each tattoo is bigger and bolder than the ones before. The next one she planned was a big F-ugly thing in the middle, upper half of her back. After being unable to convince her how horrid it looked, I told her somewhat disgustedly "If you want to uglify yourself, go ahead." When she had it done, she came back with some different thing instead. I was quite surprised she had listened to me. Again, this one was bigger and more colorful than the ones before. Then she had one put on her shoulder and down her arm. This one is quite the conversation starter, with people (usually women) always stopping her to ooh and ahh over it and ask her about it. So, getting tattoos seems to be addictive. With the wife's tattoos, I wouldn't say I either like them or dislike them. But I also hope she stops getting them, or she is going to look over-done.

(see a couple of replies over in the "Beginners, post your questions here" section)

I would add that less than 100% can mean significantly less. I can't speak to condoms firsthand, but you will find a post or two on this site of people who've gotten pregnant despite using them. I can tell you that 2 of my 3 kids resulted from birth control pills that didn't do their job. Same story across the street (twins), the woman on the corner, the woman around the corner, 2 of my mother-in-law's 4 kids, a girl at work (she didn't even know she was pregnant for a long time; still had her periods). So, yeah, better to be extra careful.

You said you'd prefer not to have to buy new equipment, but nonetheless I'm gonna make a plug for bicycle riding. I find it gives me a good workout; I enjoy the sights, sounds, and smells of being outdoors. I enjoy coming across different wildlife (everything from squirrels, chipmonks, bunny rabbits and groundhogs to turkeys, snakes, deer, and bears (not crazy about the snakes; jury is still out on the bears)). And various farm critters. Hate traffic, though. Varying the route helps keep it from getting boring, as do the different weather, seasons, and times of the day. The breeze keeps the bugs away (except it sucks when one thwacks you in the eyeball), and keeps you a little cooler than other exercise. I try to combine the riding with a quick dumbell/pushup/pullup/stummy crunch routine, about all I have time for. If you were to ride far enough from home, it would be good to cary tools and a pump for fixing flat tires. Might also be good to ride with someone else; there are creepos out there. When I was 16, on a 3-week bike/camping trip across Massachusettes, one girl in the group took a wrong turn, ended up alone on a quiet country road, and got attacked; that will forever stick in my head. And a girl from work narrowly missed getting attacked. On the other hand, I do see several women by me walking, jogging, or biking on their own, so I guess it depends on how well-travelled the roads are that you're on; but on the other other hand, the girl from work was not in that desolate of an area.

dogg: "Here's another thought. If partners in marriage (or committed relationships) always try to put their partners' needs first...and both partners are doing that...I'd think there wouldn't be many issues, or questions about duty or responsibility." =================== I don't know that that is always realistic. Kids come along, and take the number one spot. Mother-in-law's health goes south and wifie needs to tend to her. Best-friend-since-kindergarten goes through a rocky time and needs support. Work gets busy and you start putting in longer hours. And on and on. You run out of time and energy to always put the partner's needs first. All of that adds stress to your relationship. Plus you have differences in what is important, adding more stress, things you never considered before you got married. Many a night, after I've been working all day and spending my evening doing chores, trying to get the kids outside (one of those examples of where I think it's important to get them out to run around, while my wife thinks it's fine for them to sit in front of the TV all day (oops! that sounded like a dig -- perish the thought), so it falls to me to get them outside), help them with homework, blah blah blah . . . Once the kids are off to bed, I will flop on the sofa to veg a bit before going to bed. The wife will plop down in front of me and ask "rub my back?" Well, guess what dear, my feet hurt, my legs are swollen, I'm spent, beat, worn-out, and exhausted. Sorry, y'ain't gettin' a back rub.

"What if your wife agreed to give you oral sex regularly (or whatever sexual thing you have been craving) but in return you had to promise to never, (NEVER) view porn again. Could you do it? Would you consider it? Would you sneak it?" I could, but I don't think I would. I think I would view such a bargain as overly controlling. I don't even watch porn that much; it is the principle of such a bargain that bugs me. If she just said, "please don't watch porn cause it bugs me THIIISS much," I might be more receptive to giving it up. Even then, what would be next? Am I supposed to quit perusing Victoria Secret and Newport News catalogues when they arrive in the mail? Cast my gaze to the ground whenever a pretty girl is in view? I'm a guy; I look; I always have and always will. And always would no matter how hot my wife or girlfriend was. Also, if oral (or whatever else) is something she is willing to do, either because she likes it or enjoys pleasing me, then she should just do it. If she isn't willing, she shouldn't have to. Sex (or certain acts) should not be an obligation; that would take a lot of the fun and enjoyment out of it. But likewise, they should not be reserved as bargaining chips. As a younger man, I might have been more willing agree to such a deal, and in general to bend over backwards for a gal; but right now, I feel like I've sacrificed an awful lot for my family for the past 10+ years; don't take away what simple pleasures I have, especially if I view them as fairly harmless. (Now, there's a certain amount of hypotheticalness to these answers. My wife doesn't care if I look at porn; watches it herself, probably more than me; likes giving oral, etc. I don't see us ever getting divorced. So I'm partly trying to imagine as if she did have a problem with porn, and partly thinking in terms of if she were to kick-off and I were to start dating a new girl.)

Not to rain on anyone's parade, but on that last link (http://blog.innerpendejo. . . . ), my McAfee Site Advisor flags this site as potential trouble, saying: "When we tested, this site attempted to make unauthorized changes to our test PC by exploiting a browser security vulnerability. This is a serious security threat which could lead to an infection of your PC. " -------------------------- On the other clips, thanks! Definitely gotta practice some more.