chloegirl

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to..' 'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.' 'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' 'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !' After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?' 'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.' 'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!' 'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.' 'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith. 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.' 'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said. 'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. 'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.' 'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith. 'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look.' 'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. 'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.' Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?' 'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.' 'Tripod?' 'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.' Mrs. Smith fainted.

My first thought was that it's all a ruse. He's been in bad financial trouble and it must be impossible to live life where you are hounded constantly....the conspiracy theorist in me says he's got the money and contacts to fake his death, come up with a real looking body, get more plastic surgery, and go on his merry way incognito. But I guess we have to take the official word for it. Will be interesting to see what happens to his kids and who gets them.

Spot on Sun! You should feel both! In the beginning at least there should be that attraction there where you think the other is hot, but there is so much more to it than that before you make a committment....I mean if it's all about the attraction/sex but you don't really like being with each other then why on earth would you make that committment? And the ones who are just "friends" and commit hoping that the passion will follow are duping themselves too. The longer a relationship goes on there will always be ebbs and flows to it.....times when you are hot for each other, times when you can hardly stand each other (and you're lying if you say you never feel that way....because everyone does even if it only lasts a day every now and then). You are constantly evolving and changing and that affects your relationship and attraction too....Bottom line is....if you feel good and hot and you make an effort to be giving towards your partner the attraction can always be resuscitated. But you have to feel it first to radiate it out. But it takes 2. You can't be EVERYTHING to anyone and you can't MAKE somebody want you. You can try to help it along but they either feel it or they don't.

I don't think it has much to do with your sexual orientation so much as just who you are more comfortable with. Was just discussing this with my oldest daughter awhile ago.....she has more guy friends that she likes to hang out with more than girl friends but that's just because she has more in common with them....she wants to have fun and actually DO things, gets into action flicks and video games and although she always looks like a Barbie doll she has no patience for girls (young women now) who won't do anything because they are afraid of getting their hair or make-up messed up, or worrying about what they'll look like. It's about who you feel a connection with and can trust.

Right behind ya! Hope you took your vitamins Man!

Yep...nagging or threats will get you nowhere. You can try to explain why you want them to change or improve their habits, do what you can to help, get them to join you in pursuing a healthier lifestyle, but when it's all said and done they have to be the one to make up their mind to do it. If they see the progress that you have made with following the advise you give them (you look and feel better, stronger, hotter!) hopefully they will want to get with the program to keep up with you - at least a little!

Now that's what I call a Real Man!!!

sigh....and alas, some never quite master it no matter how much you try....thank goodness for toys, imagination, and a good attitude!

I'm telling you girls that Real Man Cyberskin makes for some interesting options!

Totally love dressing up (or down!) Have every type of cute and sexy lingerie made, school girl type outfit, corsets, bustiers, leather, lace, garter belts, and more hot stilettos than I could ever wear! The leather dom type ones are my faves right now!

Yeah, but you know you could still work around that if he at least tried to make up for it another way, but when they're hopeless, inept, or uninterested in using oral or other skills it's pretty much a dead end.

The fantasy of it is hot as hell but being able to keep that jealousy factor out of it is the question. When I was younger and less confident there is no way I'd even consider it....now I'd be up for it but there is no way hubby would ever go for it.....go figure! It remains a major turn on when fantasizing during "playtime" - just the thought of it can take me over the edge FAST.

Bullet: Silver Bullet Rabbit: Doc Johnson Firefly Vibe (greatest vibe ever! head pivots right to left and back and forth, and the head and shaft rotate a full 360 degrees! Too bad it's no longer available ) Vibrator: Big Cherry Vibro-Dong Dildo: Real Man Cyberskin Male Masturbator: Nothing hotter than hands (and mouth ) Lube: Astro Glide BDSM: Nipple Clamps and Doc Johnson English Cock/Ball Cage

I've never had to deal with that problem either....I'm usually the one that might point something out to him. When I was younger I'm pretty sure I would have been way too insecure to not be hurt or offended....now I'm confident enough to take it in stride. Hubby and I were talking about this just last night tho....it kind of creeps both of us out when grown men are really into the young girl thing....there's just something kind of sick and twisted about a man (or woman) having the hots for someone the same age as your daughters! (then again...I know no one wants to look at the "old" broads either so catch-22 there!)

I think it's alot easier to start out getting used to it with the toys. A really hot fantasy and a couple of toys for DP (and honestly I suggest you do this on your own at first to get used to it and learn about how you like the sensations to come at you) can lead to some really intense orgasms. Once you are comfortable with it introduce your SO into the play. Depending on how hot and aroused you both can get each other I bet you'll get to where you not only can take it but actually want it! Take your time working up to it, lots of lube, and lots of erotic communication and fantasy between you will help to get you there!

those are good to start on....you are probably going to find yourself really getting into working your way up the size scale....FAST!!! Have fun!

Hey I'm up for it all! You can't help but feel a little nervous or foolish at first 'cause you are operating outside of your normal comfort zone, but if the response is in anyway positive (and quite frankly the guy would be a total moron to do anything to spoil the "gift") it can lead to some very heated encounters!

wow, it has been way too many years back but the thought is always hot.....the idea of being seen!

You'll never hear a complaint from my SO about any technique I employ but we both seem to think that the deep throating thing is not something you would spend alot of time on all at once....makes it more effective if you use it then switch it up and come back to it more along the lines that Sunday mentioned. Of course it all depends on just how hot and into it you both are at the time....

gggrrr! Ok ladies surely I'm not the only one who's noticed this. For most of the month I can stay in control being active and workout regularly and most importantly eat healthy and sensibly until....bam bam bam....the week before...then all hell breaks loose and I'm like a crazed fiend scarfing down carbs like there's no tomorrow....and I swear I can pack on 5 lbs in 2 days like that....drives me crazy! Then it takes days to undo the damage. And it's not just my appetite for carbs that goes thru the roof ....ain't no way hubby can keep up.... I go thru the toy arsensal and battery supply at an alarming rate each day too! How do you guys handle this monthly feed me, fuck me frenzy? I just go with the flow but it's a little alarming when you think about it.

But in a case like that you should look at it like this....your husband loved you and would want you to be happy and not be alone (surely you would feel the same way). Finding someone new to love and share your life with in a case like that will never take away from what you shared with your husband....it would just be a new chapter. I would never expect someone I loved or cared about to give up living and revelling in all life has to offer as proof of their devotion to me once I was gone. Your husband would want you to be happy and fulfilled!

Yes....I wouldn't be against re-marriage but as you said, at this age I don't see the need for it and I would never want there to be any worries or animosity from his family that I was after their "inheritance". Don't care about the "stuff", just want to be happy and enjoy each other!

I know you can get used to anything but I would hate to spend the rest of my life alone without a special person to share your life with. And as you get older it seems so sad to see the chronic "daters"....you know the ones that hop from one relationship/bed to another never seeming to find whatever it is they are looking for. But at this point I would never allow myself to fall into the trap of living without some type of relationship....no way would I want to be some celibate, sexually dead woman who only lives for her grown kids or grandchildren ....I would hope to find someone with staying power, whether you actually remarry or not.

I agree with ladylove....Although I can't imagine having to be in that situation, at this point in my life I have absolutely no desire to raise children again....done that, it was great, but now I want a few ME years. Starting over sounds like way too much work but if you're in love/lust that has a way of changing the way you look at things and you are more apt to give it a go. Never say never!

Yep, that's the one....