synirr

I'm another gal who likes to masturbate while driving, especially on long road trips. It helps keep me awake. I'm not brazen enough to do it during the day with lots of cars around, but I definitely will if traffic is slow, and I typically stop when other cars pass... unless I'm getting really close, haha! I prefer to do it when I am driving at night, so I don't really have to worry about anyone seeing. I am a little more bold then, and don't stop even when I am at a red light in a well-lit area. If anyone looks over they're going to be treated to seeing me with my hand down my pants . Now I have a little vibrator that plugs into the 12V outlet in my car, and MAN does that thing pack a punch!

I thought perhaps that's what you wanted to talk about

Thanks guys. I'm really not trying to criticize, but as a newbie to the site I did sometimes feel like it was being implied that I should be trying for more, or wasn't "doing it right" if I couldn't achieve some of the things spoken about here. I'm still pretty new here, but now I realize that that's just the atmosphere on this particular forum, and it isn't meant that way. I am young compared to most members here, but I am fairly knowledgeable (if not always well-practiced or experienced ,) and I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality and know enough about the subject to realize that as long as I, personally, am feeling completely fulfilled in this aspect of my life and am being safe, then I'm doing everything right, no matter how I am doing it. I honestly don't feel like that is stressed enough in the advice given here, and I do see a lot of potential for alienating newer members because of it. Just a thought I've been having. It isn't my intention to step on any toes by expressing this opinion, so I hope nobody takes it the wrong way.

Bacon.

I'm with you! Alan Rickman's voice makes me swoon. Have you seen Dark Harbor?

I've tried it with a lover too recently. Same result. It's really, really mentally distracting to me to think about my breathing and I forget to just enjoy myself. I appreciate that this has worked for many women, and that being the case it must be great advice, but I honestly just don't find it helpful to me in the slightest, and I have given it many chances now (and continue to do so occasionally, "just incase". Who knows, things might change in the future.) You saying it as "you will go from one orgasm to another" makes me think I must be doing it wrong or my body mustn't be working properly, when I know that neither of these are true because I followed instructions to the letter, have no trouble achieving orgasm normally and enjoy my sexuality greatly, and the boy was doing everything right and giving me all kinds of pleasure. That's kinda what I was saying in my intial post to this thread -- while I appreciate the advice and am more than happy to take it and give it a shot (or a dozen), there comes a point when you just have to realize that the same trick isn't going to work for every woman. We're all different, as I'm sure you realize.

My tiny hometown didn't have a sex shop, but I went to a sex toy party (populated almost entirely by gay men, it was a blast!) my senior year of high school and that's when I got my first vibrator. It still works, and I only just recently replaced it with something a little more interesting, so it doesn't see a lot of use now. I can't remember the name of it or find it in a search, but it's a typical soft pink vibe that's waterproof, and the tip glows and changes color when you turn it on!

As they say on other forums.... "Pictures, or it never happened." Also, were I blessed with that kind of flexibility, I'd never leave the house.

Just gonna throw in my two cents here... it makes me feel kinda inadequate when I hear people saying that I should magically be able to have 40925894095829052 orgasms in 5 seconds or less. I can't, at least not yet, and no amount of proper breathing is going to change that for me -- it's going to take a lot of practice, and I am working on it. I hope to be able to achieve serial orgasm easily some day, but honestly, I think it's a misconception that all women can accomplish any such sexual feat if only they practice hard enough. They told me in grade school that if I practiced hard enough I'd be able to touch my toes with ease, and I tried and tried multiple times every single day for a solid year, always with the mindset that I could accomplish it if I kept trying... to this day I still can't touch my toes without it being painful, because I am blessed with my father's incredibly tight tendons. There came a point where I just wasn't improving any more, no matter how hard I tried. The mind was willing, but the body just wasn't capable. I agree that the vast majority of problems women have with sex are mental, and one can get around them if they try, but let's face it... there IS a physical aspect to it as well, and it's unfair to deny that. You should absolutely exhaust every possible option (if you're so inclined) and try Try TRY, but I also don't think it's fair to tell a woman, who may have a completely fulfilling and wonderful sex life as it is, that she is doing something wrong just because she isn't having 10 orgasms in 5 minutes or less. As for myself, I've been having at least 4 orgasms a day here lately, with 10 being my record, because I am practicing very hard in hopes of achieving my goal! And what fun practice it is. It's getting easier as I try new things, but it still typically takes me just under 10 minutes to reach another orgasm after I've had one. I had two in a row yesterday, but they were both small and rather unfulfilling, so if it's a choice between lots of those and the ones I am used to having, I'll take my singles, thanks. When I have a big orgasm I am too sensitive to continue intense stimulation; decreasing stimulation keeps me excited for a while, but the problem I am having currently is that I still lose the peak before I lose the oversensitivity. I'm working on it. I usually start out trying your breathing technique, Howard, because it is so highly advocated here. However, I typically give up on it because it's distracting to me!! I am so concerned with my breathing that I forget to enjoy myself! It's exactly like spectatoring for me, it makes me lose focus and actually makes me LESS relaxed, mentally. I'm not too worried about it anymore because I have noticed that if I just relax, my breathing pattern during arousal very closely mimicks the one you suggest anyway -- I am apparently not prone to taking short, quick breaths. I think the key is going to be finding something that works for me, as an individual, with my own body and my own experience of sexual pleasure, and while I love this site and have learned a lot so far and hope to continue learning, I do think that some here are prone to stuffing all women into the same box whether they mean to or not. We don't all have the same problems with our sexuality that are inhibiting our orgasms (though admittedly certain problems are extremely common,) and the same technique just isn't going to do the trick for each and every one of us. That's the only beef I have with the advice given here -- I wish individual experience were stressed more, and that the ideas presented were more often presented as (VERY GOOD) suggestions instead of sure cures.

Eek! Makes me glad I went with Flexi Felix! He's built pretty solid.

I don't find transsexuality sexually appealing in and of itself really, but I was pretty excited when I discovered Buck Angel. He's just cool... and also I was really confused the first time I saw a picture of him, hah!

Hahaha, oh my. That's a good one!

That's not contradictory at all! A friend with benefits is still, at heart, a friend... not just a f*ckbuddy. A f*ckbuddy is someone you basically only hang out with for the sex, a FWB is still gonna be your friend even if you're no longer having relations. That's the difference to me, anyhow.

So it looks like I have a friend with benefits. Normally I'd be ecstatic, but I'm actually pretty disappointed. First time I've ever been disappointed about no-strings-attached sex. Same guy as from the last post. Incase you couldn't tell, I actually like this guy. We hung out yesterday and I was getting such mixed signals that I don't know which way is up. He asked me out to dinner, then came back to my place and we hung out until around 2AM. He suggested future plans for the weekend after next. He was going to head back to his apartment, so I walked him to the door and asked if he'd object to a kiss. He said no, he wouldn't object, but that it made it harder for him to leave... then followed that up by saying he thought we'd be better off just friends. I was cool with that, honestly... I figured he didn't think we were compatible, and there's nothing you can do to change that, so I was more than ready to just accept it. I'm willing to admit I'm a little odd, and not everyone's cup of tea. But then, because nothing can ever be that simple, he tries to explain. This becomes an hour long conversation about how he doesn't know what he's doing with his life, is pretty sure he doesn't believe in God anymore, and is having trouble finding a purpose to existence. I'm glad we had this conversation because he obviously needed to get it off his chest (I found out a couple of weeks back about him being depressed and had confronted him about it already, so this was no shock,) but what does all of this have to do with me? Before that I was willing to assume it was just incompatibility, but now I have no fucking clue what the real issue is. I have a friend who suffers chronic depression, which she keeps under control with meds and therapy, and she said it sounded to her like he was feeling guilty and wanted to avoid a relationship because he felt like he was a bad influence and would just drag other people down with him. I honestly kinda hope that's the reason, because that's something you CAN change, but I'm not willing to assume that's the right answer just because it's the preferable one. I'm gonna try to talk to him about it soon, I'm pretty lost here and I need to have this explained to me. So, again, after this conversation he's on the way out the door and I kinda jokingly mention in passing that while I was 100% fine with being friends (and I am, if that's all I can get,) I also want to molest him almost constantly, so if I continued to be flirty in the future he shouldn't worry, that's all it is. Once again, he said that made it even harder for him to leave. Long story short, he decided to stay the night after thinking it over for a long time. If nothing else, I'm really glad he decided to stay, because it gave me the chance to tell him how gorgeous I think he is, and I hope he at least left feeling a little better about himself. Plus, I'd have been sad if I never got to see that body again. So, yeah. I have no idea what to do. I really like this guy, and I pretty desperately want to preserve the friendship if nothing else, but I don't think I'm quite ready to give up on wanting more yet either, not while there's still the possibility that he's interested. I will probably just ask him about it, as planned, next time I see him.

Right-o. If you're confident it doesn't matter what your friends think.

LMFAO, funny stuff!

I agree, I think this is a needed article. This is actually a problem I myself have. The first few times I am with a new partner I tend to concentrate too much on what I'm doing to them and kinda forget about myself... not that I don't thoroughly enjoy what I'm doing to them, haha, but I don't have enough experience under my belt yet to convince myself to relax the first few times. I'm working on it.

Good luck!

Honeysuckle... but not the gross, way too sweet kind. More subtle and natural, like the Kama Sutra Honey Dust.

Lol Howard, I understand your post completely. Most of my friends are guys, and it has always been that way, so I see it all the time. They consider me "one of the guys," so I actually get this kind of stuff too once I have been in the group long enough, haha. Yes, my guy friends make fun of me for crying during movies Obviously that mentality has a lot to do with it, but only if a guy has a really fragile ego, I think. Most do.

I LOVE it when a guy moans. There really is nothing sexier for me. Any sexual noise works, really. Thing is, it seems like a lot of guys hold back in this department... why? I've been thinking about this a lot, because I saw a comedian on TV the other day who began his joke by saying "You ever had a woman make you feel so good you almost made a gay noise and had to catch yourself?" The noise he made as he mimicked the scene wasn't anywhere close to gay, it was just a moan. It wasn't a gutteral grunt or a gruff "Ooooh yeah baby," true enough, but it sure as hell wasn't overly effeminate either. Is this what men really think? He got plenty of laughs, like the audience knew what he was talking about. The last guy I slept with makes LOTS of wonderful sounds, and it's a huge turn-on for me. None of my other partners have ever been particularly vocal. I was discussing it with a friend of mine and he said not to assume that all women find it attractive just because I do, so, I am asking... confirm for me ladies, I'm not the only one am I?

To borrow from another thread, vampires. Any ol' vampire would do.

Pfft, lucky girl was playing solo tonight. Hopefully the boy will unbusy himself soon.

Hmmmm, idea. My nipples aren't very sensitive at all. Honestly the sandpaper probably wouldn't hurt much because of it. I got them pierced when I was 17, because I had heard it had the potential to make them more sensitive, but to no avail (however, it still looks nice!) It does hurt more when they're bitten now, since the skin is sandwiched between teeth and metal, but that's the only difference I have really noticed.

Damn woman, I need the vibrator you have!!!