synirr

Many hugs for you, Em.

dscn, have you considered anger management? Bad times or not, seems like you could use some counseling to learn to control that temper better. Being so easily infuriated is bad not only for those around you, but for yourself as well -- it can raise your blood pressure and knock years off your life. Do yourself a favor and learn some more effective ways of coping with your emotions. Take care of yourself. Besides, someone you don't even really know (I assume) called you a name on the internet. Take a step back... is it really worth all the drama? It's just plain childish, and I feel perfectly justified in saying that even being several years your junior.

Beautiful post, Poon. Well said.

I feel that's an over-generalization! J/K, I'm just giving you grief

I currently have 3 different lubes on the table beside my bed, and BJ drops on the coffee table. Yup. I don't have friends over much

I administrate on another forum, which coincidentally is how I found this one. I spend more time on that one than here, but honestly the way I have time for it is I just don't read everything! I click "View New Posts", then go through and only read the ones that catch my eye.

One more thing to add... don't let the ones who have done you wrong leave you bitter. It'd be a tragedy if the bad things that have been done to you leave you incapable of recognizing a good thing when you see one.

Sperm warfare happens in a lot of other species (take a look at the insect world for example, wow!) I've just skeptical that it would happen in our own, considering our mating behaviors. Sperm can live inside a woman for a week tops, so for sperm from two separate donors to meet, the female would have to be mating with multiple men within the space of a week, which is the exception rather than the rule in a pair-bonding species such as our own. Evolutionarily we are certainly not strictly monogamous (hell, even birds, the poster children for monogamy, are not monogamous in reality,) but I don't think it was really common for our ancestors to spread it around quite so much. Human infants are born basically fetal as compared to most primates thanks to our large brains, and therefor large skulls; infants have to be born early to be able to pass through the birth canal. Infants born so underdeveloped require a lot of parental care, and that means both parents if the family is to care for the offspring as well as being able to provide food for themselves. Ancestral humans probably formed pairs that would stay together for roughly a year or two before the bonds began to break. "Coincidentally," this is generally when that "new love" feeling starts to fade in modern relationships... see the connection? Not that infidelity doesn't happen within this time period, it's just less common. Most competition occurs before mating in our species, as the most reliable way for a male to procreate would be to be chosen by a female as part of a pair. Anyway... the whole human sperm war theory was basically developed by a few scientists noticing common variations in sperm morphology, and trying to think up possible reasons for these differences. There is, as of yet, no evidence to suggest that there is a reason at all, nevermind the ones these people came up with. That's the reality of this theory, and why I personally don't give it much consideration.

I have male friends who are not constantly trying to have sex with me. I've spent the night with some of them, slept in the same bed with them, been in hot tubs alone with them... they never once made a move. We are just friends. A couple of them were at one time attracted to me, admittedly... that's how we met... but it's not like that anymore. Now that they know me better, I'm just "one of the guys". These are guys who have been there for me and continue to be there for me, but they don't bend over backwards to try to impress me, either Em, you're a very attractive girl. You're going to continue to find that men are attracted to you, and yeah, upon initially meeting a new guy that's probably going to have a lot to do with it... but they're not all filth, I promise, and sex is not everything to all of them. You'll find that out in time, though, you're just going to have to meet a few more people first I think. As for your last sentence though, good for you!!!! NEVER let yourself be used, but on the other hand... giving a guy a chance to show his true colors (and potentially finding out that, contrary to most guys you've met, his true colors are nice,) doesn't necessarily require you to be completely vulnerable. Be skeptical, but be open to being proven wrong.

Most people seem to know nothing about their bodies. Not when it comes to sexual function, dieting, sleeping habits, or anything else.

That was my immediate thought. Hormonal changes can trigger melasma, after all, so why not this?

I've seen the same show your BF saw, but it was a long time ago and I can't remember what the actual subject of the show was, just that they mentioned this theory. They also mentioned that there's no real evidence to support the theory as of yet, and IMO, it's probably complete bullshit, but I could be wrong. Our species just doesn't seem like one that would evolve this tactic to me, our courtship behaviors and pair bonding and whatnot, evolutionarily speaking, don't really leave a whole lot of need for such sperm warfare to come about.

I'm no man, but I'll still tell you that yeah, maybe a lot of men are like that, but not all are. I've known many good men in my life, so they're out there if you know where and how to look. My best friends have always been of the male persuasion.

I would have, if I didn't already know it's normal. When you think about how many individual sperms a male's body produces on a daily basis, it's astounding how few mistakes there are!! All we saw were a couple of tailless ones and one huge one. Haha, thanks. I'm pretty happy about it too. I think his ocular lens is 10x, so we were looking at them at 400x magnification, but they were probably barely visible at 100x. Makes me kinda sad I'm a girl... I wish I could see my gametes under a microscope

First of all, let me say that my BF and I are both biology majors, and huge nerds. He has an awesome microscope, which he brought over the other day. Last night we were playing around with it, making slides of water from my fish tanks and whatnot... and we had to best idea ever for a slide. ...Can you guess? That's right, I gave him a blow/handjob, and we looked at his semen under a microscope. You could see all the spermies very clearly, it was so cool!! I saw one with two tails, along with a few other common abnormalities. It was the neatest thing ever, but the thought did occur to me that we are probably very strange

Hey Em, your ex is the only guy you've ever been with, right? You might find that things are different with a different partner... I hope that's the case . It's amazing how different it can be from person to person.

I get what you gals are saying, and we certainly still include oral as foreplay so it's not like it's going to get excluded entirely... but while I find it enjoyable, the feeling just never starts to heighten. I don't feel like there is enough friction. It's kinda like a toy with weak vibes to me... yeah, it's nice, but if I want to orgasm I am going to do something else. When it comes to clitoral stimulation, I don't like it when there's too much lubrication and everything is sliding around all over the place, I'd much rather just have minimal lube and have my clit rubbed through the hood. Thanks for the suggestion Suzy, but I don't feel like I'd be able to get much accomplished with all the blood going to my head . I'm not even sure I'm that flexible!

Oral is too wet and slippery... I prefer really watery lubes too, if that tells you anything; I want a lot of friction. Besides, I like to be more involved... it's just not as sexy to me to sit back and receive. We've tried to whole riding-his-face thing too, which was fun and enjoyable, but also just felt kinda silly to me, lol. My partner is the same way actually... I gave him the first orgasm he has had from oral since high school, so I know my technique isn't lacking, but he still prefers handjobs over oral.

Once or twice a day, pretty reliably. I'd like to shoot for more, but the way our schedules are we really only get to hang out in the evenings most days. Usually we have sex before bed, then again in the mornings if there is time.

I'm on it, and looking to switch next time I see my doctor. My sex drive hasn't suffered much, but man does it bring on the migraines for me. The last week of active pills is the worst. I have migraines pretty frequently anyway though, so you may not have this problem, of course. If it really is human estrogen maybe that's why I'm having so much trouble with this particular brand. The good news is I haven't suffered any other side-effects to speak of, no mood swings or acne or anything like that.

I've been interested in doing some more reading on this because it's basically what we've been doing lately, just without actually having any official knowledge on the subject.

Not to my knowledge, but the vertical blinds in my living room aren't in the best shape...

I have a myspace! I want to see!

I definitely prefer vaginal sex, oral honestly just doesn't do that much for me, even when performed well. I have never even come close to an orgasm from it.

About 3 years. I lost my virginity at 15, then didn't have sex again until I hit 18... not for any particular reason really, aside from there being nobody I wanted to have it with.