Jaca

You need to find his THING. We went through a similar situation - though with kids etc thrown into the mix. Earlier this year things came to a head with him using the internet to access porn while our relationship suffered. Working through all that, I learned that he was seeking a particular visual turn-on - women in high heels. He had mentioned it on other occasions but never highlighted just HOW important it was for him. So I bought some killer heels and made sure they were on my feet when he arrived home from work. Hey, presto! There's lust in his eyes the instant he walks in the door and foreplay starts. It turns out that he felt embarrassed to explicitly ask for exactly what it was that turned him on. So much time had passed in our relationship that he thought I might think it was weird or too kinky. Of course, any reservations I may have had disappeared when I saw the effect it had on him! Seeing him so aroused by me has had an impact on me too - I think he is more desirable than ever.

A couple of months ago I "busted" my SO enjoying himself using pics online. We talked it out, vowed to share it all etc. We pinpointed some particular items in the pics that turned him on and I hit ebay for supplies. Our sex life roared into life. This week I accidently located a section of his computer with tonnes of porn vids. I was heartbroken. Not about the vids, or his use of porn. But because we had just gone through the whole honesty thing and this was a big fat omission on his part! Now, I really feel betrayed. The first time was something we could work through and I made all the effort. Now to find he was still keeping secrets is very hard to deal with. We are in Australia, very open minded, share everything, have amazing sex and have been together for over 13 years. To see how much of our relationship took place with his dishonesty is unnerving. We are working on it - because that is what we do! But any additional points of view that may assist would be appreciated.

I read this and other similar forums. When I first discovered them, I spoke to my SO about what I had learned and he suggested I sign up and share my thoughts with everyone. It has recently occured to me that most issues people post involve some sort of miscommunication or no communication with their partner. So, does your partner know you use sex forums? Would they care? Are they signed up too? If you hide it, why? There is a lot of intimate stuff shared here, does your partner know exactly what you are sharing and how do they feel about it?

Thanks Valntyn, I have been looking at these online, and couldn't really decide which type to get. Sounds like this one is a good thing! I'll put it on my birthday list!

http://www.tootimid.com/sex_education/misc...spot_orgasm.htm Mikayla will explain it all away! We should all be so lucky as you!

Shypuppy, For many guys, once they cum, that's it. My DH can take all the buildup in the world, but once he has come, it is pretty much all over. He can often be reworked about half an hour later, but the hormones just are not up for continuing straight after the event. My solution is to ALWAYS make sure I have come first - or be aware that I will have to do it myself afterwards. He still enjoys watching afterwards, but it certainly doesn't have the same effect on him. I am pleased to see that your January post said you had talked about it. Communication is the key to great sex!

Hiya, This is my first post - and one of my fav topics! Communcation! Tell her about how it makes you feel. Talk to her about the power she has to make you feel that way. Talk about it when you are not having sex eg "last night when you... I thought I'd gone to heaven!" Tell her when she is doing it that she is awesome and making you feel like a million $. Tell her honestly when it has been memorable, or the best she has ever done on you (she'll probably up the ante and try to be even better the next time!). Trade off. Offer her 10 minutes for your 10 minutes. My DH and I love to have playful bets with 10 oral minutes as standard currency! Dip it in chocolate! Buy a jar of chocolate spread and cover your cock in chocolate. I have decreed that I am allowed to eat all the chocolate I like, as long as it is served on my husband's body. Finally, treat her like royalty. Tell her how sexy she looks - be truthful and specific ("Those pants make your ass look hot", "I love the way your breasts look in that top"). A woman who feels sexy, confident and aroused makes a better lover! Happy Headjobs!