TonboMidori

I was really looking forward to trying this toy out, since it boasts a vibrating tongue. Unfortunately, the picture doesn't convey that the tongue is really short. Let me tell you, a short tongue surrounded by big rubbery lips does not a fun time make. I think I spent more time trying to get a good position with the thing than getting any pleasure out of it. In the end, I had to use the side of the toy to get any real vibration out of it, even on the highest setting. Even then, it was a bust This toy is not waterproof, though it is latex and phthalate free. There is a moderate smell to it, but does fade rather quickly. It has a decent length of cord between the toy itself and the controller (which has a slide button to change the speed). It runs on 2 AA batteries (not included). I'm really not trying to be hateful at all, but I wouldn't even recommend this thing to a beginner. The vibrations are almost non-existent and the toy itself is almost impossible to get into a stimulating position. If I could do it again, I would steer clear of this one. Red Nots

I can't say I've ever been a fan of toys with faces, but this one was good enough to make me forget for awhile. Believe it or not, this little waterproof vibe wasn't bad! The dolphin sleeve didn't really smell and was much softer than I thought it would be, which made it really easy to get on the bullet. With as many details as the sleeve has, I would go so far as to say it has an angle that works for anyone. There's a nose, 2 side fins, a top fin, and an upraised tail. I happened to like the nose (used upside down) the best It says it has 7 different vibration patterns, but I would have classified it as 3 different patterns with variations. The first 3 are the constant buzz settings going low to high, the fourth one is a wave-like pattern, the fifth and sixth ones are pulse patterns (six is faster than five), and the last one is the highest constant buzz setting. It comes with 3 button cell batteries, which is the only thing I will warn about. Whatever you do, don't lose/throw away the plastic lining. I tried to use the toy without it and found it wouldn't work. When I opened the compartment and shook the batteries out, they were incredibly hot. They were only in there about 10-15 seconds without the lining, and I don't want to think about what would have happened if they were in there longer. In all, I think this is a good one for all "skill levels". It adds a little oopmh for both the beginer and a little simplicity for the experienced toy user. Not bad for $10, no? Wheee....

Just to let everyone know, my SO did not lay a finger on me or anyone else. He's not the type. Don't worry about that. My SO asked me to remove the original post, so I did. Though I will say I want his ex to stop flapping that gaping misplaced asshole of a mouth on her face for a minute so everybody around her can see what a lying, stupid cunt she is.

To quote "Walter" aka Jeff Dunham... "I gotta teach all those women how to have sex?! Oh my god! Virgins? Why not a bunch of slutty broads who know what the hell they're doing?!"

Problem is, no one is willing to give any answers (and no one else seems to want to question the department. I keep getting shut down when I do) and he says he just wants to forget the whole thing. I personally want to know if that women's center is behind it, but I doubt I'll ever know.

Removed

I was completely surprised by this one. For such an inexpensive little toy, it performs like a pro. My only complaint (Besides the fact it’s pink. I’m not a big fan of pink) is that although the package and the website say this one is waterproof, they mean the toy only. So, be careful with the controller if you go for some bath time fun. Speaking of fun… Although it doesn’t mention it anywhere on the site or the package, this toy lights up! I was pleasantly surprised by that (This is my first light up toy. I didn’t realize how fun that is). I popped the 2 AA batteries in to the controller to test it out and started laughing as the bottom of my little vibrating penis started to glow. The intensity of the glow depends on the setting you have it on, too. Light setting=little glow, high setting=lots of light. The speed is set by an easy-to-turn dial that makes fine tuning the speed a snap. The bullet itself is a little longer than your thumb and covered in a soft jelly material. It does initially have a bit of that funky plastic smell, but it’s barely noticeable after a wash. Once again, I found that the higher settings are a bit much for me personally. However, I don’t mind since it’s so easy to change the intensity. I think this would be a good one for beginners and intermediates (like me). Other than the lights, the experts might find it a little plain-jane. Oooh, pretty lights!

To be honest, I am a bit on the fence about these. I like the fact that they come individually wrapped. But, once unwrapped and unfolded, they’re not very big at all. Maybe two fingers wide and less than fingers to palm in length. At that size, they’re not very easy to use on a larger toy, though fine for something smaller. The smell is pretty strong, too. I can’t describe it, other than it’s strong and kind of tangy. The first toy I used these on was the biggest one I have (A rabbit-style vibe). I have to say plural because one towelette couldn’t do it. It actually dried out before I could get the job done and I had to break out another one. I was a little disappointed, since I had reviewed the Top Cat brand towelettes earlier this year and had no such problems. Now don’t get me wrong, these things do a great job for cleaning. I’m saying squeaky clean. But they’re just too small to work effectively on larger toys. If they were bigger, they would get a big A+ from me. As it is, they would go for a B-. For the "little" messes...

justice

False TPBM is feeling a little blue

silly

screaming

Ick, hon. Sorry you're having a rough spot

soft

TRUE!!! TPBM has a backache

Caramel Wonderly

moments

Sorry, but a little ranting and raving must occur... 1) The court here has completely gone mad. A while back, a guardian ad litem (?) talked to la nina. Then he talked to us, then la nina's mother. We got his report and found that despite everything that has occured, he decided that "shared parenting" is a fabulous friggin' idea. Seriously?! The poor kid has come this far, and he wants to plunk her right back with her mother part time? Unbelieveable. We haven't said anything to la nina yet, since we're going to try and appeal his recommendation (if possible. no power means no contact with the lawyer yet. which leads to...) 2) Ike sneezed on us (Ohio) last Sunday. Now, I know it was nothing compared to what hit Texas by any means. I got that. But our local weather just said it was gonna be "windy". Nothing about 85-95 mph winds, nothing about possible damage or loss of power. Just "windy". Oh, well okay Mr. Weatherman. Instead, the power went out about 3 pm Sunday and wasn't restored until about 9pm this Thursday. By which time all of our food went bad, my toy reviews were behind schedule (as soon as I could, I emailed Meg), my SO and I had to drag poor la nina around with us everywhere we went (school lost power, too), phone lines were down and cell towers were totally overloaded, and people outside were acting like the world had ended. I mean come on, do you really have to body check a chick with a kid in tow over friggin' glow-sticks? Plus, I know the traffic lights are out, but that doesn't mean fly all over the road all willy-nilly. Come on, folks. Have some sense! Ok, end rant On the up-side, we managed to find a way to make a little less scary for la nina. After we got back with some supplies (my SO and I decided to divide and conquer. he went to one store, la nina and I went to another), la nina was still pretty nervous about the windstorm and all the commotion afterwards. So we decided to help calm her down by doing some "indoor camping". We got some sheets pinned up like we did when we were kids and popped some glow sticks. Then we just played games and stuff until her bedtime. She wanted to sleep in the "tent" we made, so we rolled her up in some blankies and gave her a glow stick. She seemed to think it was the greatest thing ever when she laid down, but was crawling up in our bed pretty soon after. There was only one big crying fit during the whole thing, which is great considering the circumstances. We managed to get away with only some minor car damage, thanks to whoever invented carports, and I lost my flowers on the deck (not that they were growing anyway). So no, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I still felt the need to complain though. Ok, end complaining

WOOHOOO! GO TT!

smile

True, considering I'm horribly congested and allergy-ridden TPBM is spending the day on the couch

world

I have the same problem, honey (though for different reasons). I asked my GYN about it, and she gave me this tip: Regulate your breathing. I know it sounds weird, but if you hold your breath or breathe too fast you're more likely to tense your nether-muscles. Breathing slow and steady makes it less likely, she said. I don't know where she got that info, but it has worked for me. If you try it, I hope it works! Good luck!

hehe

smarts