jhard

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer and, at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily and would use each time he had to log on. The husband was a bit bored by the process and, feeling in a rather amorous mood, figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he paused for effect, then letter by letter, with his wife watching over his shoulder, he keyed in ..... P E N I S His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied: PASSWORD REJECTED....... NOT LONG ENOUGH

A couple, married for 30 years, were sitting having breakfast one morning when the husband asked his wife, "Honey, let's see how sharp you are this morning. Say something that can make me both happy and sad at the same time." The wife thinks for a moment, then answers, "Well, you do have the biggest penis of all your friends."

Miss Hurting, Your question is not stupid, it makes perfect sense. First off, find a man who quivers when you get naked....he is surely honest and willing to share with you... then let him know you and shave you....giving yourself unto him.... may your pleasure be multiplied tenfold.......

post removed...lousy mood got the better of me when I wrote it last night

A friend of mine (mid 30's) was led astray by a 20 something year old gal. He did his best to stay clear, but after a few weeks of trying her car broke down and she needed a ride home and that was the beginning of the end for him. He did say that being led astray like he was is not all that bad (that gal rocked his world!). He could'nt live with the guilt so he told his wife. After she was done being pissed, she became the horniest wife in town, he can't give her enough! So now us fellas around here think that what he did is one way to cut out the BS that the wives tend to dish out concerning sex.

I am very interested in the ways to which you are referring, care to share? jhard

No farting in bed...especially in my direction! Does not include pussy farts, which are always welcome.

Hey Thor, I don't know to what extent you like music or not, but I thought of this song and I thought it described your situation. If I were a painting Captured on canvas Alone in the portriat I would stand And brush strokes bold Yet soft as a whisper The work of a feminine hand Caught in a still life Surrounded by shadows And lost in a background of blue If I were a painting My price would be pain And the artist would have to be you I imagine the colors Would all run together If you ever allowed me to cry So don't paint the tears Just let me remember me Without you in my eyes It's only the frame That holds me together Or else I would be falling apart If I were a painting I wouldn't feel And you wouldnt be breaking my heart by Willie Nelson Don't give up on yourself. jhard

Aiden, I believe it is called a "Pocket Rocket Mini Vibe". It sure packs a punch for a 1 battery device. jhard

I have bought her a bag full of toys, one of which is the pearl butterfly dual action unit. She can often orgasm fairly quickly when alone, for some reason when I am around it takes a lot longer. She says she needs a more powerful and faster vibe, which sort of led me to the sybian. In my order I recently found a freebie that tootimid sent us (overlooked it until recently), it is a tiny little vibe that runs on one AA battery and it tends to do the trick just right. jhard

Thanks Mikayla, Thats what I wanted to know. Don't know how I could ever get suckered into thinking that the sybian was all that great. jhard

The thing with the above kind of flirting is that it can become a different kind of flirting which can take you to a place where you did not initially want to end up. Once you start, you can't know for sure where it will end. There are plenty of cultures where men would assume that if a woman flirts with them that they will be going to the sack. A good friend of mine took his flirting to far one night and ended up doing some things that he very much regretted later. Damn, I wish I was in his shoes for that one night!

Hi there whitefang, Google "sybian orgasm video" and hang on! Check out the g-spot attachment...I am still trying to get over the size of it, WOW. By the way, I really like your photo in the picture section. You're so hot you could melt permafrost! I sure hope your SO realizes what a babe you are and treats you real right! jhard

I have been toying with the idea of buying a sybian for my wife. Does anyone here have any "hands on" experience with the sybian? Is it *that* much better for a woman compared to the more regular toys? jhard

Howdy.

HotMomma, I am not sure that one get situations like this "figured out" like a math problem or something. If you can as a couple get to a point where you can agree on what you want together and agree to honestly work towards that goal you will have come a long way. We are still on that path. For me, I have come to the realization that there is nothing "wrong" with where we are at sexually, it is just where we are at right now. I think this applies to equally to couples and also to people. For you, there is nothing wrong with your orgasm situation, it is just where you are at right now. Relax, and take it for that only. If you share your anxiety with your husband I would hope that he would be more than understanding and supportive to you, and I bet that you would feel better. These are my insights only, I am no expert by a long shot. I have however, been tempered by extreme resentment and hurt due to marital sexual friction and after all of the *shit* I sort of came up with this line of thinking is all. wish you the best, jhard ps working through these types of situations causes all involved to "grow up" more than they are comfortable with at times

Hey there HotMom(ma)!, You sound exactly like my wife! Don't take that in a bad way. You are 9 years younger. The very fact that you are concerned about this and looking for ways to improve on the passion in your marriage is a great sign, and I'm sure you're husband would be very proud if he knew (I know I would be). Sometimes, it takes us guys a loooooong time to figure things out. I think that a woman has to learn her own sexuality before she can share it with a partner. Trust me, I have spent much time beside my wife while she plays with a toy...waiting for her to climax and it just did not happen. I was in the way for her at that particular time. I will give you the same advice that Iha gave me, read the book Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch. You will gain some insight to your situation, share what you learn with your man. Like you, my wife has also often cried while having sex. I can tell that I do not feel like a "superman" when I notice her cyring. I know what you are going through. All of this pain, hurt, frustration and resentment can be a stepping stone to a more passionate marriage. The catch is that you have to do something about it. Sex toys will not solve the problem, this I found out already. Wish you all the best, jhard

Hi there Miss Bean, I've been gone a while, reading and such Dropped in here to say hi. By the way, I did buy a flower bundle for my wife for mothers day, she liked it. I did it only because I appreciate her, not because I thought I should or anything like that. It's dumb how we wait for a holiday to do this kind of thing. jhard

Howdy Iha! I've been reading that book you suggested "Passionate Marriage". I'm glad that I ordered it and actually am reading it. If nothing else, it is a good prompt to start conversations about sexual issues with one's partner. When, where and how to show one's differentiation is a personal confrontation. Once I am done reading and have mulled the ideas over a bit more I'll be back. jhard

I prefer sex 7 times per day, but I'll settle for 3. A guy has to be willing to give in a bit.

Hi Coleyjames, From what i know of male kind, your guy sounds like a cheater to me. Hope for your sake i'm wrong. I think that for most men, staying true to one woman is really hard. Temptations come, problems arise...strip clubs all over the place..every other billboard selling sex...the yellow pages full of escorts and massage girls...it is much easier than not to break your lovers trust at some point if you are together long enough. Kinda like one of my single friends says...a man is just not meant to be with one woman. By the way, i'm sure you are "good enough" for him. Take a good look and see if he is "good enough for you". jhard

Rokhopa, Since I dont know your husband I dont want to start making assumptions and add more fuel to the fire. When I married my wife i saw my role as doing everything in my power to make her and us happy. It may seem old fashioned, but i am the leader in my house...this means responsibility to those around me. I figure that if those around me are happy that chances are really good that i will be even happier. Maybe you should flat out ask him if he cares about your happiness. Tell him to be a leader in the home and that that means putting himself last and everybody else ahead of him/his needs. Thats what a man is, thats what a man does. Unfortunately there are a lot of boys out there playing a mans role. enough of my ideas, wish you all the best, jhard

OK Miss Whisky, 1) If you want him he is yours...not the other way around... let me remind you.. right or wrong a woman can own any man she can take him inside her and hold his soul in her hand 2) I wish you the love you seek, but you are not alone ...you are essentially searching for the two of you, you and your daughter. there are men who will take you and love you and your daughter...without reserve chat him up...get to know him...watch yourself By the way, I am kind of partial to Johny Walker Black, and you? jhard hope this does'nt come across as preachy or anything, but this is about the advice i would give my sister. my radar goes off when guys are really smooth talkers as this one seems to be. There are guys out there who gladly date a girl and raise thier hopes way high and then let them crash to the floor, causing much pain. maybe i'm the "overly protective" type of guy but i hate to see a girl get her heart broken by some smooth talkin freelancer. now, all of the above may or may not apply to the liquor store guy. or maybe girls nowadays are just as tough as guys when it comes to this so my ideas may well be outdated

Miss Sun Flower969, Thanks for your post. It means a lot to me to hear from you ladies who share simalarities with my wife. I am about to recieve a box of goodies (four sex toys for my very anticipating wife) . I am about to go on a NOKIDSTRIP with her......she will have to wait for the toys until we arrive....ohhhboy ohhhhboy...5 days in the garden of eden, i will send a few pics (landscape only) later. Why do I address you and some others with Miss? Call me an old sucker for poetry, gitar licks and ryhmes...but I have a fixation on beauty that is hidden but somewhat revealed...and I see that in your's and Miss Bean's posts. I see you are a couple of gals loaded with all the qualities that any guy could want or need, but are sufficiently reserved...good for you. Best of all, some kinds of dribble require a condom but this kind dont. Right about here is where I should BLUSH! So i will leave you with the words of a song of a friend of mine, there's a girl i still remember who's name i can't recall i gave her what i had but she tried to take it all and the song goes on and on and on, but it never ends......

Hi Rokhopa, You have a loaded post and I can only give you my perspective. First off, a man has a limited blood supply and it is usually not enough to run both the brain and an erect penis. Personally, I consider it a big turn on to be told what to do...but my wife is not that open yet (perhaps does'nt really know what she wants me to do...yet). You feel the way you feel and I do not know that it has to be justified. I understand very well being frustrated. I would suggest talking about it outside of the bedroom. I think that a good heart to heart talk about how you feel will go the furthest for you. The sooner you talk about it the better, I have a tendency to postpone these kind of talks myself and they never get better on thier own. jhard ps I made this post earlier today but due to server problems could not post it until now, i think iha covered a bunch of this...communication really is vital