Beunolas

As everyone else has said, ridiculous. Making him do the dirty work then firing him...like insult to injury.

Heh, sorry I didn't post age. I'm a 19 year old sophomore. This was just really my first everything girl (Kiss, girlfriend, sex, the whole shebang) and I hear those are always hard to give up.

So basically, as it went down...I was supposed to see my ex monday. I hung out with another girl, who reminded me of all the things I like in girls. I decided to see her instead of my ex. My ex got upset at this (even though she had canceled on me three times in the last three days to see her boyfriend? hm...). So, she made me feel bad about it. After that convo, a cog finally slotted into place in my head "She doesn't deserve me." And she doesn't. She's not all that great. She's using me while not giving me what I want. She turns me into this horrible jealous and controlling person that I never am with anyone else. I hate feeling like that. She doesn't deserve to have what I have to offer, at least not who she is right now. And Tyger, your advice is right on the mark. I'm just going to date around, see if I can find someone who really makes me happy. Thank you very much for the advice, I appreciate it a lot.

Long post in morning. Short version, Tyger, you're right. I need to move on, and I think I'm ready to do that :-D. Permanently, this time.

Suzy, I'm a college guy and I'll stare at a picture of you if you want ;-P

The short version: Realized I still love girl that broke up with me in april. She's with a guy who's trying to cheat on her with another of my exes. He met both of them on facebook. The ex he's trying to get with knows he's a creeper, but the girl I want to be with has no idea what's going on. Do I tell her he's trying to cheat on her? Long version: I broke up with the summer fling girl mutually. No sticky situation, no backlash. We're now at point one, again. So, here's what I've done so far. Decided to be friends with my ex Went out with ex Ex asked how I felt about her still I told ex how I felt about her. She thinks we ought to be friends, see how that goes. Go out with ex again. Cuddle with ex. She say's it's different cuddling with me, and that she doesn't get touched enough or enough feeling out of the other guy. She says to not read into it. She blames this on the fact that she'd been off her prozac for 4 days. Meet with ex that night again. She asks if I'm jealous of her boyfriend. I say of course. Meet with ex today for coffee. Decide to start asking how she feels about me. She says she just thinks of me as a friend right now. She says she missed the fact that I'm always there for her, that I always want to be with her, that she never felt lonely with me. But she's still with the asshole. I tell her I'm going to talk to him, because he's being a creeper to my other ex. She says to not get too much hope over us getting back together. I ask what reason is there for us to not. She has no answer to that, only that she just doesn't feel like it right now. What the hell do I do? I'm very confused. I really would like to be back with her, because, as I said, I love her very much. I just don't get it. I've decided I do need to talk to her boyfriend and tell him to leave my other ex alone. I'm thinking of telling the girl I want to get with again what he's doing. Should I? Is this tactful? Thank you everyone for looking.

Haha, good job Kat :-) and another arizona person! Yay!

/clap Fantastic. Something like this is what I was waiting for my entire last relationship and never got. Your husband is truly lucky.

Bunny, please leave his ass. He doesn't deserve a girl like you. He deserves a kick in the face, the balls, and then the throat for good measure. Doesn't care about pleasing you? Threatening to kill you? He's a controller...and he doesn't give a damn. He said so. Get away, get a restraining order, and try to get over it, please. He doesn't deserve you.

I'll post a pic of me doing it at my girlfriend. I'll make sure it's sexy ;-P

I could be considered one of the jerks. I've been called half pick up artist, and half bleeding heart romantic. Hell...a lot of it is just finding yourself. I find that 90% of dating is internal. It actually is a lot about how you act and how the girl percieves you're acting, not how she's acting. If you're happy with yourself, and enjoying yourself, it should be a fun date. My mentality, is to just do what you feel you should do. If a girl seems like you want to approach her, hell, if you even want to approach a girl, just do it. Also Vanilla bean, I totally do the finger guns thing, but only out of habit and as a joke ;-P

Well hell...it's all just part of your own bodies. All natural, right ;-P?

So, couple interesting developments. She was stuck on top of a mountain last monday. Crying her head off. She called me and begged me to come get her down. So, I went, and caught her from a 30 foot drop. Go me. She called me her knight in shining armor, and told me she owed me dinner. Yeah. 4 days later I officially started dating my new girlfriend :-D. And I'm very satisfied. It's pretty awesome to have a "normal" relationship with a healthy, sexual young woman. No more repressed feelings, no more concern about dates...and she's actually able to talk to me! woo hoo! So, recap. She used me. Again, for her own purposes and needs. Doesn't call me for 2 months, and uses me out of the blue. Don't let it stop my life from going on.

>.> First and only time so far that I fell in love was last year, with my now ex. My first fling was over the internet, when I was 14. Not much of a fling. This was my first real relationship...meh. It's hard.

For me, I'm still young, 19 or so. I don't know, for me the physical attraction has to be there, and she's gotta be the right type of personality or else it isn't going to work. Luckily I meet enough girls to be picky ;-P. Unfortunately, I'm not meeting enough of my type...I want to find a girl that'll boink me but not be a freaking slut... GUH. WHY DID COLLEGE LET OUT?! T_T

Tell me about it. 3 girls after me, not including my prom date, but including my ex's twin! XD

So...Went to their prom last night. Woohoo! It was a lot of fun. First time I've ever cut loose and danced. I totally brought sexy back ;-P. The girl I took said I gave her the best night of her life. I did good. Saw the guy that margo's dating now. He looks like a dick with hair on top...and he's a bit chunkier than I am...meh. I could launch into the whole "He sucks, and was behind her the entire freaking dance slow dancing the whole time and breathing down her neck." Kinda bugged me a bit, but it was more annoyance and less sword-in-heart, you know? That aside, it was an amazing night and I didn't let it bother my date or I.

2nd date with my ex, I called her by her twin's name every time I tried to say her name. They look really similar, and this was only the 3rd time i had ever even seen her, so...it was kinda justified. I felt so bad afterwards though

I understand. Thanks for the advice. I would like to add something that I didn't think was important. She went on prozac in october. prozac dampens affections and harms the sexual drive. Takes about 8 weeks for it to come into full effect. She said they really started to go away in december. I felt like I was losing her and really clamped down about then. << food for thought. In any case, I've been dwelling on it less and less. I'm going to a prom with a different girl just as friends and having fun. Feel like I'm moving on. It's good stuff.

Well, she wants to see me. Two nights in a row, but in a group setting. I'm trying so hard not to read into it. I know it is 99% chance nothing but just being friendly. Just hard not to get my hopes up. Oh well. I'm just going to relax, let things just flow, and not force anything. Try to just sit down and have fun with her.

. Thanks everyone, as I said earlier, seems like a cool place to be.

Thanks a lot guy and gal . It looks like it's a pretty cool place to be. Unfortunately I may turn into a bit of a lurker for the next few weeks because of finals T_T. Oh well. I'll come back in summer if that happens.

Yeah, I know it's still all lip and no actual doing. I figured it would take at least a few months of casual dating and just being friends, while still going to counseling and actually getting to the point where I really think in that way, and be healthy with it. I definitely never want to get back into that rut, but as you said, motivation alone might not do it, so yeah, it's a good idea just to keep it casual and fun, with some light flirting here and there maybe to bring some of the feelings back. Thanks, and I know you're not dissing me . Some of my friends have been worse...said it was low class to try and pursue something with her ever again and what not.

My name is Beunolas, you can just call me B. I'm here because I want some advice regarding my recent breakup. Just general ideas, stuff. The full details are in my post in the relationship section.

Hello. One of my friends reccommended this website for me. Anyway, I'll give a brief summary. Last week my girlfriend of 15 months broke it off with me. Mainly because the spark had faded and I was trying to control her life. I understand the causality behind this, that in trying to control her life, it only pushed her further away. It is unfortunate that I was unable to realize while I was still within the relationship. I've gained a lot of perception since the breakup, and realized just how much of my life I was basing around her. I also looked up obsessive love on Wikipedia, and I fit the general prototype, save for the after breakup stuff. In any case, I'm going into counseling now for my control issues, because I never want that to happen again, with any girl. I feel like I lost a very important part of my life, and I know there are other girls out there. Given time, I will want someone else. I understand that. However, as of right now, I would like to try and make a new relationship with her. She really wants us to stay friends, and I asked for a week before us talking to work through some of this stuff, and go to my first two counseling sessions so I can at least start thinking about things a bit differently than I was. I understand we can never go back. I don't WANT to go back. It turned into a really crappy relationship. I want to make a new one with her, where we actually go out on dates, and have fun, as opposed to sitting around, doing nothing, and me being obsessively jealous. I think there may still be something there, and that it may work if things are better than what they were, as far as me having my own life and letting her have her own. However, I'd like to point out, This is not my entire plan. I'm going to go out with other girls if I'm not feeling it with her, and if she's not either. And I won't wait around forever for her to come around. If I feel feelings for another girl, I won't squash them in the hopes that my old girlfriend will come back. I just want to try and see where that goes with her, and see if there's any chance for that to happen. Well, mainly I was just going to try and be friends with her first, and see if she even feels attracted to me that way. If she does, maybe some casual dates, you know? But not an immediate rush back into the relationship, because I realize that would just make things go back to how they were. On a side note, she met some guy on facebook, and has decided to meet him for a date. She told me she hasn't met him in real life yet. I get the feeling it won't pan out, but I don't know how that will go. One of my friends thinks she may be rebelling? Anyway, I just would like general thoughts about this, commentary, ETC please. Thanks a lot .