ginshreve

Hi Chowder - I'm sure more expert answers will come your way, but my first thoughts are this: I generally know before we even start kissing whether or not I am going to swallow, because as you figured, it's my preferred response so I don't have to think about it. If it's already in my mouth, why not swallow? If there is an issue of STDs, having the semen in my mouth has already exposed me. Maybe swallowing makes it more dangerous, but I figure if my mouth is exposed, swallowing does not make it any worse. (and that is one of the situations that would make me say "no" altogether). The decision I have to make before I begin is whether or not I am going to continue going down on my partner until he ejaculates. If I'm not comfortable enough with him for whatever reason, then I'm unwilling to allow him to cum in my mouth so there is nothing to swallow! Or if he is only good for one "go-round", I am a little greedy and not always willing to forgo how good it feels when he ejaculates inside my vagina. Sometimes I will, because I love the power I have in oral sex, and I do enjoy it and knowing how much my partner enjoys it, but other times I am feeling selfish! This is a thing I really like to discuss with my partner before hand - because one of the deciding factors for me is how he feels about it. I figure out a way, in conversation before oral sex begins, to make sure that he is willing to kiss me on/in the mouth after I swallow. If he has any hesitation or waffles about that at all, then it would be VERY unusual for me to let him cum in my mouth. If it is too "nasty" for his mouth to touch mine after I have swallowed it, then it is too "nasty" for me to allow in my mouth, either, much less swallow! So a lot of it is about his perception of it. I have known guys who do think it is somehow gross, and I would not feel comfortable doing something they think is gross, or too gross for them to be involved with, anyway - sort of like you will use a toilet but not kiss it. Nope - if I get that vibe from them, then I don't want to be that recepticle, and I generally find they are not really good partners for the kind of wet, sloppy, giving and receiving, taking turns sex that I enjoy best. Hope this helps and I'll be looking forward to other responses, too!

Hi all, I can sympathize with Hot 4 Hubby's dilemma - In the past, I had some pretty unhappy bj experiences because of the guy holding my head down or pushing too hard in my throat when I was not ready - and of course, the taste/texture of ejaculate is like no other earthly thing I have found, either! Indescribable!! With my current lover, I really, really loved going down on him because of how he responds to me, in a gentle way, with constant talking to me about what to do, how it feels, and how much he is enjoying what I'm doing. He is trying to hold off orgasm and of course, I am working to make him cum, and there is something about the power in getting him to the point where he loses control that is a huge turn-on for me. I can hardly wait to do it again! (and that is not something I ever used to say, either!) I give TT instructions lots of credit, too - it's easier to give a bj when you have some agenda of different things to do rather than just licking and sucking and licking and sucking and on and on (although they have their place, too ! ) I guess what I was trying to say is that a lot of it is how your hubby handles it to make it as pleasurable as possible for you, and the rest is just your mindset about it. I've decided to believe that tasting pre-cum is wonderful and tells me that I am on the right track, and ejaculate = a successful bj, meaning that I did a good job! I think the suggestions already made are great and I'll bet your Hubby will go along with whatever makes you comfortable. Just remember, you can stop any time, there are no rules about this, and you can practice with it, getting a little closer each time as you get more comfortable, with no penalty! Relax and enjoy. I think making a bunch of rules and expecations make it harder, so let go of that and do as much as is comfortable. Good luck and please report back!

I hate to admit this, but it was 12 years for me after a nasty divorce. Not by choice, really, just lack of opportunity! Thankfully, my fwb has stopped the drought . . .

So true, so true, bbboomer - And thanks to all for the warm welcomes! I continue to look forward to reading here almost every night!

Yes, I agree about the dry spell. And with my FWB, since we worked together for 3 years and were friends for about 4 years before we decided to have sex, the best aspects of our friendship have followed us into the bedroom - he's as wonderful a lover as he was a colleague: responsive to me, responsible, desiring to please and make sure that I am satisfied - we have great communication, fabulous comfortableness with each other - and a load of humor and honesty that was all absent from my last sexual relationship, which was in my long-dead marriage. (Ha! Perhaps that's why it died!) Regardless, I learned a lot from the death of the marriage as well as from my dry spell - and now I am learning from my FWB as well as from this board about what I want and don't want. He has told me I gave the best blow job he has ever had (and he's 53, so I think that's saying something!). I give total credit to the instructors on this board (can't remember all the names, but thanks! you made me look really good!) and he is a really good recipient as well (no head pushing or holding in place, and lots of verbal feedback - which really makes a difference for me - I never knew it could be so much fun to give before this experience with my FWB!) The hard part for me is my emotions - isn't it always? I knew the rules of the beast before I let it in, and I'm determined to keep it just as we set it up and agreed to beforehand - FRIENDS only, not going any further - and in truth, I don't think I want it to go further with him - but definately with someone. It's funny; I had FWBs back in the '70s when I was young and before FWBs were in style, and that relationship worked well for me then, so I thought it would work the same way, now - and it does, sort of. Time changes all of us, I guess, and 30 years is a lot of water under the bridge. I just have to keep reminding myself that it is what it is, and that's ALL it is. Gosh, is there a thread for FWB relationships? I think I need to check it out . . . apparently there is some work I need to do there!

Hello All, I've been lurking for awhile and I've learned a lot! I found this space when I was searching for advice on how to give a really good blow job; I found that and so much more. I echo the other posters who commented that it is so refreshing to find a site that doesn't make sex "dirty", but rather glories in the beauty and joy of it. Plus I've had a very enjoyable journey through the articles, shop, and stories! Thanks to all of you who generously give advice and suggestions - that's what seems to make this board sizzle. I'm divorced; getting back into the sex and relationship scene after a verrry loooong dry spell, and I feel I fit that category for wild older women rediscovering their sexuality (or whatever ya'll call that category!). My only current relationship is a FWB situation - very nice, it takes the edge off; but it's not enough for me now. I want it ALL - including romance - and I think (hope) it's just a matter of time! I'm not likely to be a frequent poster, but I wanted to say Hi All and thanks so much. I'm sure I'll have some questions as I go along and learn/experiment more!