my favorite thing to do is to express to my husband, if I don't get it from you I am going to go out and get it from some where. Now that being said .......I have been with him for a long time almost 20 yrs. and I'm very aggressive......that sometimes can throw him off and I have to back off. I supplement with toys, fingers and so on. I totally feel for you. Have a heart to heart with him. Express your needs and where you are will to meet him half way on, but you have to talk to him.