There are all sorts of factors that go into it, I have the same issue. I have had a frank talk with him and I have explained to him I need to be held and touched. I also said if you don't want to I can find someone who will. It works for about a week to a month and then he goes back to the same ways. Toys are my saving grace. Now I find if i feed him seafood, it seems to put him in a better mood for it. Also I drag him in the shower with me with promises I want to give him a shower and use my body to wash him. I smack his butt, I bite him, he bends over and I rub him. Pretty much use any reason to touch him. I really try all sorts of stuff. Get creative and brazen. Even in public find reasons to rub him or just be naughty. Its a struggle even with therapy, but I hope I have given you some help.