Members somethingsweet2 Posted September 16, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 16, 2009 I have been sexually active for about 13 years. And in those 13 years, I have maybe gotten off a total of 5 times. It has never been an issue for me as I am more into pleasing him then myself. I can (more often then not) have an orgasm from self-clitoral stimulation, but never from intercourse. And I have found myself a guy that actually wants me to get off (not necessarily a mind blowing orgasm (yet)) but wants me to cum. He enjoys the sex we have, but it really bothers him when I get nothing out of it. Is this a lost cause, or is there still hope for me? Any suggestions would help, thanks in advance!P.S. Not sure if this has anything to do with it, but found out today that I have a tilted/tipped uterus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted September 16, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 16, 2009 Well hello there! I was just like you!! The good news is YOU ARE CAPABLE! You already know you can orgasm!The best advice I can give you is to just experiment with yourself to figure out what will get you there! Have some alone time, explore yourself and figure out what you like, internally! Go slow, listen to your body. Relax and enjoy!For me, I had a really hard time relaxing and truly enjoying myself because I was WAY too focused on how I looked, sounded etc. Now I know that it's all good and I am able to enjoy myself to the fullest!Do you have experience with toys at all? I was not able to orgasm from intercourse alone up until a year ago! Which is VERY common in women! Now I know what to look for as far as sensations cluing me in when I am getting close!Using a vibe or dildo vaginally with some sort of clitoral stim (fingers or another toy) Is a great way to get things rolling. You start to feel things happening inside that maybe you would not have before. It is also OK to stimulate your clitoris during intercourse! (Yeah, I would never do that for myself I was too embarrassed... now I am kicking myself!)RELAXATION is key! Truly!Best of luck to you! Keep us posted! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members somethingsweet2 Posted September 17, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 Thank you! I will be patient! :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted September 17, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 Wow, how wonderful that you have found a partner that truly wants to get you off. That is a fantastic development, especially for a self admitted "pleaser." The thing is, if you have spent 13 years not learning about your body, your likes, your dislikes, your pleasure spots - well, you have to start. We are born with the innate ability to self-pleasure, but through stigma and cultural bias we learn to shelter that off, and thusly forget to self soothe and self pleasure.What you need to do is to reacquaint yourself with the art of masturbation. I have a few articles here on masturbation and orgasm. Read them. Get to know them. Try the techniques. Get familiar with what you like. What speed feels good. What pleasure do you like? Once you do that, you can teach HIM what you like. We are all different, so we need to discover that for ourselves.Then, try to remember to relax. I know, hard to do when you feel sort of pressured. We have to learn how to enjoy ourselves. I, personally, love to give oral sex. I love it. It arouses me. I used to spend a lot of time concentrating on him and his feelings and his wants and desires, and then when it came to my turn, I was still wondering about him. I learned to just relax and go with the flow. Then, my turn - or our turn - was always hot.Sun is right. Touch yourself during intercourse. He will love it. It is very stimulating for a guy to watch is partner stimulate herself. Go for it! However, I suggest doing it solo first!Never fear, you are in the right place! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kayland Posted February 4, 2010 Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2010 somethingsweet's original post sounds a lot like me actually. except i have no difficulty getting off when i am alone but it is with my boyfriend that i cant seem to get there. I am on the brinnk ALOT but never seem to reach it. And like the original post I too have a boyfriend who only wants to see me experience pleasure as well. There is intense pleasure but there is also pressure to get there. and while i continue to read articles books, and now blogs and community messages, I am also tired of reading and ready to be experiencing. Any other advice on what to do in the moment? somethingsweet, have you had any successes since you posted this?thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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